My dad is not ready...

I hope that would be possible. I did tell him that one time. He told me we'll talk about it again, but it never happened. My mom even starts small talk that I went on a date, just to slowly introduce that I have entered the world of relationships. I have been with my boyfriend since I was a Junior in college, and I think 2 years is a long time to hide from my dad. I told him, I wanted to be more honest with him and that I want to share another part of my life. But I guess its really hard for him. Currently its so obvious that he's experiencing EMPTY NEST SYNDROME.

chicha - You're correct. He may be suffering from empty nest syndrome. Usually its the moms who get upset, but i don't know, because neither of my parents were sad to see me go. It sounds like your between a rock and a hard wall. If your dad isn't responding to suggestions, being ignored, or taking hints, you might have to accept that he won't ever want to meet your boyfriend, and that is so sad, I hesitate writing it. I'm sure, given time, your dad will change his mind. Is there any way he knows who you are dating and doesn't like him? It sounds like you are a very intelligent and insightful person, and I"m sure you will find out what the problem is. It's good you mentioned it on mylot, there are lots of people here who are dedicated to helping out others. I know, because everyone helps me! travel lightly, anawar

I know, I do want to slowly introduce my BF. They have met several times but only as a friend, not as a boyfriend. I told my dad that him knowing is very important for me. But I respect the fact that he is still in shock that I have grown so fast.

yah I agree with you, I understand fully what he's going through. I respected his request when he told me he's not ready...

Tried that... he just openly told me he;s not ready, and I totally respect that. Yah my mom gives him hints and talks to him, like its better to accept it than having me sneak out and hide from them... My dad wants me to be honest with him, but not that honest I guess.. Whenever I open that topic, I can feel and see how hard it is for him to respond...

I told my dad that it doesn't mean I have a boyfriend I'm gonna get married soon.I explained to him that I want to fulfill my dreams first. And my mom has explained this to him over and over.

Well I think right now my dad isn;t ready to hear the L word. Cause when that gets in the conversation he'll shut me off and start lecturing me about being practical that love isn;t always the answer.. which I already know... I cannot assure him that my life would be better with my boyfriend, I want to assure my dad that even if I have my boyfriend, I also have my dreams and that my priority is to fulfill them first.

Hmmm,although this is a good idea, my dad won't let me talk in these type of conversations. Once I mention boyfriend, he'll start talking about the things that happened in his life, that happened in my sisters' life. And I know they have so much experience than I do. Bottom line is I'm not in a rush to get married, I just want to introduce my BF out of respect to my parents and my BF.

i do agree with vanities. there really is no need to rush. we believe that you're a great high-spirited young lady who has graduated, who has a loving & supportive family and a bright future up ahead. And there's so many things in life and dreams you have, still yet to be achieved. We are rooting for you, girl. ^^ We know that you've got your future planned up ahead. But how about your bf? Is he ready to meet the big man himself? Would you be proud to introduce the love of your life to your father? Is your relationship has come to the level of you're not afraid to say, "Dad, i really want you to meet someone who is very special in my life and he's here to get to know you and the family better. i want him to meet my most important man first in my life. Right now, we're not looking into something serious yet, but we do have high hopes for a future together. But i believe, with your blessings, support and guidance, we would not do or make decions that we will regret later." Don't keep hard feelings about your father. i understand that he is very protective over you and he only wants what's best for you and he only wants you to be happy. Let him see that, a part of your happines now is also because of the fact that you're in love with a guy who loves you not even less than you do. You're striving to build a better career so you can be a better person and have a better and stable life. Always remember that before your bf comes into the picture, the number one man in your life would definitely be your father. Maybe he's afraid that he'll no longer be the number one guy in his daughter's life? Maybe he's afraid of the thought of having to share you with another man in your heart? You should try to engage your father with things concerning you and your bf. Make him feel that you're not pushing him away from your life when it comes to your r/ship. In fact, he's the person whose advice you take seriously and advice that you need to guide you in your r/ship. That way, indirectly, he's getting to know your bf and keep on engaging your father by asking about his opinions on, from general issues to r/ship issues. While having that nonchalant talks, try to get him to really understand your good intention. Try to get your father to open up slowly and make him feel that he is appreciated and you really look up towards him in everything, including your r/ship. i believe one day he will definitely say, "I would like to meet this wonderful young man. He better be as good as you say if he wants to be with my lovely daughter." i wish you all the best.

thanks, I am not in a rush. Its just his approval or him knowing is very important to me, and right now its becoming an issue to my bf. I see his frown whenever I tell him, my dad's here. Although I tell him I dont mind my dad seeing us together, I know he feels that I am anxious. There would be no problem if my dad would only get mad at me, but he will also feel betrayed by my mom and sisters. I am waiting for the time to come, when my dad feels I've fulfilled something. I guess I just hope a College diploma and a Nursing License is something he could consider as an achievement.

I may not be sure if my BF is the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. that is why I tell my dad that, my BF is someone I have chose out of all the guys that have courted me. And for now, he is someone I consider as someone whom I enjoy spending time with. My boyfriend and I are very open to what may happen. He may find someone else, and I may find someone else. Its just that, this relationship has lasted for 2 years. and at my age, I guess its time to actually put it out in the open.

guilty as charge. Daddy's girl in the house. I am very sweet to my dad, I am the only daughter he holds hands with. I guess he feels I am the only one who gets along with him. We do have our occasional fights and discussions, but we make up easily. I will never change when it comes to my dad, I will always be his little girl, and I will always be sweet. Even when I get married and have kids, he will always be the first man in my life. I have said this to him a million times. I guess he loves hearing it.

iTS TRUE, i JUST HAVE TO BE PATIENT... I'm not in a rush... I guess his approval is something that I want in my relationship with my boyfriend...

I do hope so. My mom says my dad is unfair. Before he said, I can date or have someone court me at home when I'm 18, when I turned 18, he said after I graduate, now that I graduated, he said, when I am established and after I serve my parents. Yes, I am the youngest girl, I still have a younger bro. But I am his favorite, everyone tell me, even my siblings admit that I am the favorite. And I guess because of that my dad thinks no one is good enough for me.

I did talk to my dad, he specifically told me, that he is not ready. Date if I want, just don't introduce him to the guy...

In the Philippines, everything is family centered. I still see my boyfriend, its just that, it'll be much easier if my dad approved, or at least met him in person, just to inform him that I am in a relationship. My mom has no problem, her condition is for him to love and respect me. I actually started introducing my boyfriend to my family, after I graduated. I felt like he deserved that recognition, since I am so welcome and well treated in his home and his family. My boyfriend has been to my home a few times, he picks me up or has a drink of water, but only when my dad is not around. Its just, I know that somehow I am considered an adult, but he still sees me as his little girl, and I guess that's one of the reasons why he doesn't want to meet anyone I am involved with.

Culture in the Philippines is very family centered, the blessing from the parents is an essential to a relationship. Although it depends on the couple in the relationship. Right now my dad is somehow conservative and our family has a history of early marriages that is why I understand why the first thing that comes in my dads mind is marriage whenever I mention about my boyfriend.