Others Influence...

I tend to think I am a straight shooter and say and do mostly what I want to do or say. In here I just state what is on my mind and go righ to the point and I dont elaborate on it

Yes I do think that I change my behaviour or ways to suit other people, when I think what I used to be like ten years ago to what I am like now, it is like looking at two extremely different people. I have yet to figure out whether I changed because I had more children or because I got married and so changed for that reason. I never used to give a stuff what anyone thought of me and I would say what I thought too. Now I am so much more reserved. Although when it comes to doing something, if I want to do it I will no matter what anyone says, so I have not changed much in that regard.

Not me, I love who I'm and I'm not willing to change myself in order to please others. On the other hand, sometimes is important to compromise in order to get along with others ,but only when the benefit will be greater than the sacrifice.

I have always been and I guess always will be a people pleaser. I am learning though to stand up more for myself to certain people, too bad I didn't learn how to do this years ago.

Hey twoey, I am a what-you-see-is-what-you-get type of person. I generally will not change myself to please others. I have done that in the past, and it has never really benefited me to change for someone else. I am 59 years old, and pretty much set in my ways. My husband (of 28+ years) and my 25-year old daughter are the only people whose opinions of me really matter, and they are accustomed to my ways. I do have a sister with whom I act differently. She is a bit more dignified than I am, so when I am with her, I will act more dignified if we are in public. I am just a plain, old "country girl," very down-to-earth and honest. I don't believe in "putting on airs" just to impress others. However, when I am with my sister in public, who feels it is necessary to impress other people, I go along with the game, to a certain extent. We don't spend a lot of time together, so I figure, what the heck, I might as well get along with her.

I used to change my behavior for other people. Now I could careless... I think IF THE PERSON DOESNT LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM THAT IS THEIR LOSS. I am someone who will tell it like it is when things need to be said. I have noticed it helps a lot more when you speak what is on your mind then when you ignore it completely. I know I get upset when people dont respond to me with what they are really thinking and ignore the situation completely. I guess that is just my lil ol opinion lol

No, I don't change anything about me to suit anyone. I am who I am and people just have to deal with it. I have a saying that I go by: If you don't like the way I look, don't look at me. If you don't like what I have to say, don't listen to me. And if you don't like me, get away from me. In this life there is only one person other than myself that I have to please, and that's God. My husband loves me the way I am, my kids love me the way I am, and that is all that matters to me.

Hmm. I love hearing others' thoughts, but I don't like to change myself to suit other people. I've always been a bit odd and pretty unconventional, anyone who knows me well and likes me accepts this. However I am not a person who will never bend. A person can change my mind through a well-reasoned or occasionally a passionate argument. But it is not common, most arguments are things I've previously encountered and reasoned through myself. I like input, I think about critisism, but I dislike to change simply because someone else wants me to. if I did that, then I'd hardly know what the heck I am. That's quite a long list of changes people'd like to make.

I have always believed that we should listen to the other side. I don't always agree with it but sometimes hearing another point of view can raise my awareness of things. I am not afraid to speak my mind. I do sometimes have to tread lightly on the issue for I don't want to hurt or embarrass anyone. I would rather agree to disagree than to make an enemy of anyone. We all have opinions, right or wrong,and the ability to express them without judgment is what is the key.

Like you I am a bit or both. I'm not easily influenced, but I listen to what others say and if it makes more sense than my own way, then I might use it. As for what happens in here, I do what I feel like doing at the time, answering, starting discussions , commenting. I don't really change because some people don't like it that way. Still as with any thing else if someone says something that is basic common sense I will acknowledge that and might make a change. I always listen to both sides, and don't necessarily take my side just because it's mine, but it has to make sense and work better than my way :)

changing yourself for other people is pointless. 9 times out of ten they're still not happy.then you're unhappy too.

I do what I do, now and then I change things up if it's something that bothers someone I care about but in general it doesn't matter what other people think. They have the same opportunity to live and let live as I do, if they don't like something, they don't have to look, they don't have to listen, they can ignore or not be around me. That's what I do if someone is near me and I don't like how they're talking or if their pants are hanging off their butt (for example). I have a lot more respect for people who are who they are and don't change. What is the good in caving in to other people and what they want all the time? Are you happy doing that? I don't think I have met anybody who is actually happy caving in to others' desires. They do it because they want to avoid conflict, which makes sense, but if it makes you sad too and doesn't help you accomplish what you want in life, then it has cost you. I will help you out... I think you should do whatever YOU want. My advice to anybody who ever asks me is to let your own heart and mind guide you, your own preferences, and let everybody else worry about themselves. It's not about them, it's about you, and that isn't selfish, each person's bottom line should begin and end with themselves. If it feels wrong or like too much of a sacrifice, then you're probably denying yourself something you shouldn't.

If I feel that another's way of thinking is a better approach than mine, I will let it influence me. If I don't, I won't!! I also don't let other people's negativity affect me. It may upset me a bit, but I won't linger on it and I will realize that some people are just happy being negative and I can't change that. I do what I think is right, no matter what, and that's that!! LOL :D

it it's something i truly believe in and believe it's a battle worth fighting for, i will be stubborn and stand my ground, but for the most part i have a bad habit of always putting myself second so i change and mold myself to suit others around me, not much really bothers me so i really don't mind

Some people just can't be pleased. I don't know why anyone would get mad if you reply back to them. Like Catfish said, that's the whole point of discussions. I try to get along with people. If I am doing something that bothers someone else I will try to stop at least when I'm around them (like some irritating habit). If its something that should not concern them at all though I won't. Bill Cosby was asked once what the recipe for success was and he said he didn't know but he did know the recipe for failure and that was to try to please everyone. The older I get the truer I realize this is.

[quote]An example, I love starting discussions. However, there are ppl that get upset if you reply back to them all the time…so I mostly stopped starting discussions. Now I don’t do as much on MyLot. I let other ppl’s attitudes change my own though I’m working on going back to doing what I want[/quote] Well, looks like you're doing just that, with bells on! You've started -what?- 5 or 6 discussions today. That should get the complaints - I mean, comments, rolling.

I don't understand what you are saying about people getting upset if you reply back to them, unless you that you reply in a negative way. I thought people here wanted as many replies as they can get. I would be more likely to get upset if someone didn't reply enough than if they replied a lot. But I wouldn't get upset, I would just eventually delete the person if they never ever replied to my discussions. Yes, I am pretty much going to do what I want to do regardless of what other people think, within some reasonable limits, of course. I am not one to be manipulated by other people, as people who try to do that are usually on their own agenda.

I don't change my views or my way of doing things for anybody but myself... Unless someone points out an obvious fault... Even with that, I have to see that I'm at fault or my thinking is in error for me to change... Only thing I'd consider "other people"'s need is my daughter's... At times I would change my plans or way of thinking to suit my daughter's need... Even my girl friend tells me I'm too "strict" for my own good... But she also takes a comfort in the fact that when I say something, I will stick by my words no matter what the Consequences are... There were so many times I had to eat my words because I wouldn't back down... I'd be the first to admit when I'm wrong, I've apologized to my girl friend on numorous times... I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means... Just too bull headed to back down from what I think is right...

i used to let other people feelings change me but every since ive had kids ive realized if you do it they will grow to do it and in my opioion the way the world is going you have to stand strong and let noone take your beliefs away