Competition amongst the Family!!!!!!!

Its just jealousy in your cousin. One of my cousin is also the same. She is also mean like your cousin and is very sweet and soft spoken on your face and when you turn away from her, she almost stubs in your back. Whenever that cousin of mine wants some work from me or wants anything from me, she gets very sweet and asks in a very attractive and good way and when her work is finished, she doesn't even call you. This is not just in your family but many people here will admit this that many people are very mean nowadays in the whole world.

I really don't have that problem in my family but I have seen it with friends and other families. It seems your cousin is insecure in herself and that is why she is jealous of you and trys to compete with you. If you and your cousin are close and it sounds as if you are at the moment, then I would suggest sitting her down and talking with her. I'm sure you value her friendship but I see it going out the window if she doesn't stop doing what she is doing. Jealousy is a monster that destroys friendships and relationships. to me it sounds as if that is your cousin's problem. Hopefully talking to her will help.

i think competition like that is very common among relatives... but you have to control it before it goes out of hand... especially because you are the victim here... why don't you sit down with her and have a heart to heart chat with her??? ask her why is she behaving like that and what does she want from you... good luck... take care and have a nice day...

This is quote normal in my family. We always gossip about our relatives and talk behind their backs. But we don't try to destroy their imagine to outsiders. Everything is just within our family. Work and money as well as educations and awards are big points of comparison. Boyfriends/girlfriends are also another. I guess it's a little sad that we try to be better than other relatives, but at the end of the day we stand up for one another when outsiders try to destroy the family name.

...nah i don't call it competition,.. there's a word better than that..it is called "envy" amongst family / relatives... ..yeah i think, it is a common occurrence in every family..though some would disagree with it., or they just in denial.. :-) ..in my family., it is very much present..like in my case, i do have older female cousins... they'd started dating from the time i starts learning my algebra., but sad to say, they got married as early as 18 y/o..so while they're tending to their kids, i'm still in college. ..so while i had my fun studying and exploring college life,. there they are also waiting and hoping that i would fall just like them. no college diploma. and got pregnant.. you see how'd it really hurt me that my own relatives would wish me such bad fate... ..but as i always say, sweeeet revenge is mine... lol.. i finish my school and have a job and maybe someday if i'm really rich.,, i'll help them send their kids to school..

Hi eve301345! Competitions exist in different relationships, not only family, but also school, friends, career and so on. That's the way it used to be. Take it easy~~

Families are always going to have this type of issue. My family holds people of many different economic statues. When the family all gets around and shoots the breeze we all know where we have come from and where we are going (or hope too) and mostly everyone just keeps to being happy for one another. We just dont talk about who is better and who has more. We all have eyes and can see. But I am thinking that your cousin to look down her nose at you is just plain rude and she should not do that. But in the mean time you just keep trucking along and dont pay her any mind unless you want to use that as your motivation to get as far as you want.

I think their is always a bad and good relatives. I had enough of it I guess, they just want to compete in some sort,they always want to be the best and they can't afford to have one more in the family. It's what I call for them competition. That they only think of theselve their own throne and greediness. I feel sorry for them, and just pray for their souls. I don't think so they can bring it 6to heaven when they die.I still have my own life to make good in all aspect. I don't give a damn anymore as long as I know I could be better for my family. What I can give to my family making the best for them to give a nice life. Anyway that relative doesn't feed me or feed my family. So I'll just laugh it out and just don't think of that person. Good night!

i think it is normal family members compete each other. But i think backstabbing is not good especially in the family. If family members also can't be trusted than i think trust outsider will be more difficult.

i think its normal in all family and relatives. even i experience this since when we were small enough. i could find this when i was schooling i.e the school what we study my other relatives want to find their children much better than that and in studies i could see this, if i take science in my PUC even the other person also wants to take that. there was alot of competition while studying and even i use to never give up and i also studied hard. when i got married again it was the same problem and other relatives of mine want to find a person much more better than my husband. but in this case i tell you my husband is the best. this was always going on and also now its going on and i think its never ending and again its going to start with our childrens. i feel among so many rivals i should never give up and try to be much more better than them.

it happens in my family too, it is not nice, i feel for you as it is very frustrating. I have recently started an online business and my sister did the same, and i found out from a mutual friend that she had called the jewellery i sell online crappy and rubbish. She calls me stupid when she thinks i cannot hear and she is really passive agressive

In my family there was just my mother and father, both passed away now, and me and my brother. When we were together as a family there was a lot of favouritism shown towards my brother. Sadly, I have lost contact with him now. My brother is slightly older than me and so many years ago, he was like the breadwinner of the family! My mother always used to embarrass me when we were all together, especially when we were with friends. He joined the police at 18 and he came home in his uniform on a regular basis and our mother was so proud! She didn't didn't realise what she was doing to us though! She was slowly turning me against my brother, my own flesh and blood! Ok, I wasn't doing as well as expected but I didn't want to be like my brother, I wanted to follow my own path. What is wrong with that? The most painful thing about it though was the fact that my brother could see this happening, he was quite insightful and realised how much it was hurting me. That's what I love about my brother the most, the fact that he wasn't enjoying the attention, he was very kind and we were both alike, quiet and sensitive. This whole thing I suppose was about competition, well it never turned out that way because my brother and I both, we had understanding of the situation. The thing that my family never knew though, not until a few years later, was the fact that I had been sexually abused as a child! This was one of the main reasons that I was unable to move forward. As a result of the trauma I became a late starter in life! My brother was able to move forward no problem, but he had never been traumatised! Well, it's a long story but I'm not going to make this entry any longer. I am moving forward now. I'm sure that there is a lot of this going on in families, probably without them knowing about the pain and anger that it causes deep inside. Well, I don't care anymore about being compared to others, because I know that I am following my heart!! Andrew

We cannot deny that there is always competition in the family.I think its normal Brothers and sisters do compete,like in their school grades.Because they want to impress their parents.Jealousy is the main reason that is why both are doing anything to reached what others had.I have a relative always want to be ahead to her sister in so many things, i just dont know why.

I think its normal. I have an aunt that is constantly trying to compete with my mother. If my mother gets something new say a TV for instance then the next thing you know my aunt is coming over to mom's house saying how she got a new TV that is so and so many inches bigger. I think its dumb. Sometimes it bothers my mother but most of the time she just blows it off and tells my aunt how nice it is she can get a new tv or whatever it is she just got. I think all families have some competition, some member take it to far however.

I do not believe in any levels in relationships. Each to one's own. We all have different styles and different wherewithal’s and priorities, Now, if you take me for example, I have one sister, two sisters-in-law and we all have our own styles and own net worth and own priorities and of course life styles. Thank God I have never tried to do something because I wanted to be on their level [of style] Mine is totally different t and it synchronizes with my husband and family. I am at peace with this. I have certain desires which are special to me and if I can afford them I fulfill them myself. I keep my desires within range of my affordability and if something is beyond my affordability [of down cash payment] the desire too has never peeped into my mind. I value my contentment more than anything else and if I start thinking that I would like to go up to some one else's level then it would unnecessarily rupture my relationships and peace. When this is the case with close siblings you can imagine the rest. Other people do not even count. If they are friendly, it is fine. Otherwise I would just go my way. That is all. Ours is an extremely simple life style based on our own likes and dislikes and affordability. Your cousin is really funny and insecure there are some peculiar people like that.But that would only spoil their peace. I have also seen very rich people behave in this strange manner. You need not worry about it.. But one need not bother about any level-this is my opinion .

I think it is normal to have the competition among the relatives, but from what you've told me, I think the competition become not healthy and that would be bad. Not only for you because you became the victim here, but also for the harmony... Would you think it would be harmonious when someone is talking behind the other? I don;t think so