do you keep SECRETS?
By neztin
@neztin (476)
Singapore
September 13, 2008 7:17am CST
Secrets are meant to be kept, be it by yourself or by the people that you trust to keep the secret. But how many of us actually do keep the secret that is being told to us? I have seen so many people that have been backstabbed by their friends because they have leaked out the secret to others. there is also an occassion whereby people just cant kept the secrets to themselves. they have this tendency to tell others because maybe the secrets is super hot!
But sometimes, not all secrets are meant to be kept. for example when my bestie told me a secret that she actually uses drugs, and asked me to keep it as a secret as im the only one that she can trust. but on the contrary, i'll choose to tell this secret to her parents instead, though i have betray her trust, because in my point of view, i did this for her own good. at least her parents are being informed about it and we can together help her in rehabilitation.
How about you?
Do you keep the secret to yourself? or pass on to the other people that u trust and said, "ssssh, it's a secret"?
Do you prefer to keep your OWN secret to yourself, or you tend to share it with others?
Is it hard to keep a secret?
10 people like this
36 responses
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
14 Sep 08
I do keep secrets.. If I thought someone else needed to know the secret, I would try and get the person to tell it for themselves.. When someone tells you something in confidence, then it is best not to tell.. In the case of your best friend, I would have nagged her until she told her parents for herself and that way you would still be trusted to keep any secrets that she told you..
1 person likes this
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
20 Sep 08
hmmm, i see. that's the thing that i've never thought of before. good suggestion, yeap, maybe i can try that first to let her tell her parents herself, before i let of her secrets to her parents. this way, both parties gains, her parents trusts her as she is truthful (since she told her parents herself instead her parents heard it from me), i am still keeping the secret, and she still trust me. that seems perfect :D but if she still wont let her parents know about it, i really cant see her turn any worsen, and i have to let her parents about it.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
14 Sep 08
yes, i do. if someone tells me not to tell something i don't. i know there are people who can't keep a secret. they can be very aggravating.
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
15 Sep 08
Yes I can keep secrets from anyone but my partner. There are no secrets between us at all. If someone asked me to keep a secret I would. I know what it is like to be betrayed by someone who have confided in.
I used to confide in my mother when I was a girl and then one day when we were having an argument about something she just started to attack me by yelling all this stuff I had told her. I was shocked and hurt that she could use things I had told her as weapons to hurt me. Our relationship was never the same after that.
Nor did I ever tell another soul about my secrets until I met my partner. I do not trust anyone else.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Sep 08
hiu nextin It all depends on what the secret is and who told
it to you. If its a harmless secret I will keep it. but if the person telling me this is a dear friend or family member
and the secret could do them great harm, I will find the parents of my friend or family memember and tell them about it so that they can help my friend or my family member. I rather like to keep myown secrets to myself as I have been hurt by non thinking people too many times.
1 person likes this
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
15 Sep 08
yes, exactly as what i am thinking too. i would rather been labelled as a betrayer by the person who told me the secrets rather than to see him being harmed. it's really important for us to classify the secrets that is being told to us, whether do we really need to tell the secrets out. hmmm, that is bad, i think you shouldnt tell your secrets to those people anymore, they cant be trusted at all, and i dont think they made a good friends since as u said, u have been hurt. this means that they shouldnt leak out your secrets, which i can only say that they are not sensible enough.
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
14 Sep 08
I LOVE Secrets!..I feel they are the best and should be shared with everyone i know...lol..
1 person likes this
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
15 Sep 08
hahahahaha, i really cant help myself but laughing when i read this one. this is the only post so far that i read that said secrets should be shared. hahahaha. hi grandma :D , i think i understand why u said that. my grandma always love to share secrets with us the granddaughter and sons. especially secrets about our parents which are kind of embarassing, but it can hype up the moment during gathering. i love to hear secrets from her :D
1 person likes this
@KayleyA (11)
•
13 Sep 08
It depends on lots of things. In general I tend to keep secrets if I have specifically been asked to and I feel the person deserves for it to be kept quiet. There are circumstances however when I have told secretes. This is usually if I feel the person doesn't have any right to have these things kept secret about them, for example if I know they're a gossip themselves and have told secrets either about me or someone I care about. If someone doesn't respect other people's privacy I don't see any reason why there's should be respected.
Because hardly anything stays secret with the group of friends I have as a result I hardly ever tell anyone anything I wouldn't like lots of other people to know. I know who I can trust and there are only 2 or 3 people who I'd tell my biggest secrets to. I think in a way this makes it better because I have 2 or 3 people I know I can 100% trust with anything, no matter how big or how personal it is. That way I know that nothing will ever get out which I don't want to.
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
15 Sep 08
hi kayleya, if im not mistaken, this should be one of your few first post in mylot right? welcome to mylot dear! hope that u will enjoy your time here :D
that's good point you share here :D so you look at secrets in terms of respect, whether the person that share the secrets with you respect other's privacy. i will not want to keep the secret for such people as well, i mean what's the point of respecting his secret where at the same time he likes to let the cats out of the bag. it's unfair to others isnt it? it's great that u have some people that u have perfect trust, it's easier this way, rather than u told ur secrets to different people each time, if let's say it get leaked out, u wont know who is the one betraying you. hopefully ur secrets will be never leaked out :D
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
13 Sep 08
Well, it wouldn't be a secret if anybody knew it, right ? So i guess in most cases i keep it for me, or share it with my beloved (and thus it becomes one of our secrets instead of one of my secrets)
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
13 Sep 08
hahahaha, true, if anybody perhaps everybody knew it, maybe we can call that 'public secrets' ? lol. awwww, it's very sweet of you to share it with your beloved. and i love the term 'our secrets' i find it very sweet. maybe i should do it too when i have find my the other half =D
1 person likes this
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
13 Sep 08
Hope you do find your half soon :) I see you are interested in the topic secrets so i want to recommend you a nice book to read (it's romantic and it keeps you really involved in reading it :D): Can you keep a secret ? by Sophie Kinsella in the CHIC collection of books.
@leojennyzi (82)
• Philippines
13 Sep 08
ohhh.. I do keep secret,, and I also keep my own secret to my own self.. I really don't want to share it.. even they say no secret can't be revealed but it depend though..
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
13 Sep 08
i guess that you can keep secret very well, right? yeap, it's kinda risky to share it. sometimes, we may not know when it'll be revealed to others though accidentally or even purposely. but i really look up to you to be able to keep your own secret to your ownself. for myself, most of the time i cant, i will always need to share it with my besties.
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
13 Sep 08
oh i see. as long as your bestfriend understand that u dont share, it should be no problem, at least it wont affect your friendship. anyway, a bestfriend does not need to know everything about you, especially your little secrets.hehs.and yeap, when u can no longer hold it, it's best to share with them. that's what bestfriends are for :D
1 person likes this
@leojennyzi (82)
• Philippines
13 Sep 08
hihi.. yhep, gues so? hehee.. ohh.. that's nice.. me even at my best friends I don't chare.. :D they do understand me with that kind of attitude of mine, but sometimes when I can't really hide it that's the time I will open up :D
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
13 Sep 08
I did what you did. Some secrets are not secret. They make it as a secret because they know that it is a bad thing and don't want everybody know about that. But keeping such secret means we support them to keep doing those bad things. I would keep secret regarding someone's privacy but I won't do that if I know that it would be self-destruction for someone I care for.
I prefer keep my own secret and tell it to people I don't know. Like this in the internet, there is too small possibilities that you would know me and I know you. At least that's how I release some secret that burdened me :)
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
13 Sep 08
highfive :D :D :D yes, some of my friends told me secrets that are regarding bad things they do, and i find that i can no longer keep their secrets as that will only harm themselves. at least when i revealed it, becaus i care for them. i dont want them to turn any worsen than this. hahahaha, same here. i also sometimes tell my secrets to strangers, especially in mylot, because i know there is only 0.5% that my secrets will be read by those people i know =P and it's better that i have some suggestions regarding secrets from other people that i dont know, at least they give me more neutral point of view. sometimes my friends are biased to me, and tend to support me.
1 person likes this
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
13 Sep 08
LOL. Yeah.. That's right. Strangers could see our problems and secret from the third person point of view and become more objective in giving response and comment. Especially here in myLot, it would be some much easier to get many response of things you want to know. LOL. HIGH FIVE!!
(since there is no highfive smileys here i could only give you thumb up! Good discussion! happy myLotting :)
(since there is no highfive smileys here i could only give you thumb up! Good discussion! happy myLotting :)
@iyah10 (4115)
• Kuwait
14 Sep 08
Yes I could always keep a secret but same like you ti would always depend on the situation if the secret would definitely ruined some other people life then I choose to be silent and keep it with me and let the person would reveal the truth in the future but if the secret would ruined the person who have the secret like what happened with your friend then for sure I would also choose to help her/him out to fix the life.
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
27 Feb 09
yeap, that's the right thing to do, my friend. everything that we did in this world, be it right or wrong must depend on the situation. coz in certain situation, right can become wrong, wrong can become right. for instance, for a doctor to tell a patient straight that he suffer lung cancer is a wrong thing to do as he should tell the family member first, then let the family members be the one to tell him because they will be able to let him know in a way that he is able to receive the news.
@mlh8087 (368)
• United States
14 Sep 08
I can keep a secret unless, of course, the secret that has been told is a threat to a person or property. In that case I will tell the appropriate people that a person's life, body, or property is in danger. Elsewise, I've learned not to hear what I sometimes hear and when to not see what I sometimes see. I work in Security so there's that. Security people are automatically tattle tales.
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
20 Sep 08
wow, so u are working in the security department? that is really challenging, because you will see and hear about all the private and confidentials stuff. then u are used to be keeping secrets and your job has actually trained to become one right? and as u are working in the security, i believe that it's easy for u to classify which one supposed to be told and which one is not. yeap, u are right, if we dont want the secrets to leak out to public, it's better left unsaid.
@anne12d (676)
• Philippines
14 Sep 08
Well, I have secrets but in the long run I forgot most of it!!! hehehehehe... Its gone! hahahahaha... Well, when somebody told me their secret/s I really keep it... I only leak it when the circumstances needs it... or the secret is already been spilled out by the person who told it to me. So, I spit it out too...
I'm a friend who can be trusted with secrets and other things...
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
15 Sep 08
hey, that's really funny to hear that u always forget the secrets in time to come. i think that is a good thing for you. at least you will not be troubled whether you will be accidentally spills the bean out to others, and u might not be afraid someone can dig out your secrets. i hope i can forget my secrets too :D oh i see, u sure make a very good friend, seems that u are trustworthy and reliable!
@anne12d (676)
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
Well, its good to forget most of my secret or secret trusted with me... hehhehehehe
It's really funny though but sometimes people around makes me remembered my secret through their action or dejavu... hehehehe..
Thanks for your good comment!!!
Have a nice day!!!
@viduviduvidu (293)
• United States
14 Sep 08
A secret is to be kept a secret. You wouldn't want your friend to reveal your secret to everyone.
However, what you did is the right thing.
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
20 Sep 08
yeap, i dont want my friend to reveal my secret around, i will get very angry for that, even to the extent to cut the ties of any friendship. and yes, in order for them not to tell my secret, i have to keep my promise also to keep their secret safe with me.
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
20 Sep 08
yeap, i dont want my friend to reveal my secret around, i will get very angry for that, even to the extent to cut the ties of any friendship. and yes, in order for them not to tell my secret, i have to keep my promise also to keep their secret safe with me.
@geminipunk (573)
• India
14 Sep 08
Well if you ask me thi squestion , i can say that yes like i am a very trustful guy. i can keep nice secrets of everyone. And i have never ever leaked them , even if i have its just to do that in fights to prove my friends are right and all. This is what i think . Well since i am a nice keeper. I keep everyones secret but i think i relly cant do is keep my own secret. i mean i just cant dissolve it inside me. But i dont even tell that to anyone becasue i know how other people are if i tell them anything they will go and tell others and then there is a public annoucemnet about everything.So i prefer not telling people anything about me .Though i get a lot of secrets from others. Hehehe.
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
27 Feb 09
hey that's really great that u're a very trustful guy. im sure your friend will feel safe everytime confide in to you.
hahaha, im surprise that u cant keep ur own secret, but u are able not to tell anyone about it. because i cant keep my own secret, i will feel better after telling it to my bestfriend. it's sort of pouring down what bothering me. i hope i can be like u too, can keep your own secret.
@cuttyrish (2667)
• United States
14 Sep 08
yes, i do keep my secrets and secrets told to me by my friends and other persons close to me.. i know what it feels to have your secret be told to people, its very embarassing.. sometimes, its hard to keep a secret when you that person has a problem or is in danger.. however, this hasn't happen to me, but if this happen, i would tell the secret to a person that can help her in her problems like her parents perhaps...
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
15 Sep 08
yeap, when my secrets are accidentally leaked out, i cant help but feel extremely embarassed by that. all i wish is that i can find a place to hide until everyone forget about that embarassing stuff. gosh, and sometimes my friends want to tease me and said something relating to the secret that i have told them, i felt that im gonna die from embarassment though it's not being leaked out yet. it makes my adrenaline runs very fast everytime i have told my secret because i do not know when they might leaked it out without they even realise it.
@gtdonna (1738)
•
14 Sep 08
I am someone who my friends know they can always come and speka to or confide in because they will never hear whatever confidential they have told me spoken to anyone ever unless they choose to let me know I can tell someone else just to get a feedback on the issue. I believe that if a person confides in you, unless it is not a criminal activity or something that SHOULD AT ANY COST be reported to the authorities it should be kept in confidence and it will be.
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
15 Sep 08
that's really very noble of you to think it this way :) i think everyone else should have this kind of thinking, and maybe we can get a peaceful word without any betrayals. i think u make a good listener and a good keeper. yeap, if anyone that told me secrets told me that it should never be share with anyone at all, i am sure will keep it safely with me. sometimes, my friend just share secrets without telling me that that secrets are not supposed to be told, so im assuming that i can share it to find some feedbacks =P but im sensible enough to knoe which one i can share and some not.
@bombshell (11256)
• Germany
14 Sep 08
i am a secret keeper.and all my friends knows it.and if my friends telling me the serect yes i do the same to her but only to my best best of friend.
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
15 Sep 08
awww, that's very sweet of you. and as you said that all of your friends know about it, i am sure that you are really trustworthy. yeap, same here, im sharing secrets with my best best of friend too, usually i only entrust this to one person only. so that i can ensure the secrecy.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
14 Sep 08
I hate secrets, I think they do more to damage relationships than anything else. I'll keep a secret but if you give me a chance I'll refuse to listen and if you insist then I'll try to talk you out of whatever it is being a secret. I've know some really big ones in my time, But I can't tell you, they are secrets after all.
HaH
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
15 Sep 08
hahahaha, i understand, you are not supposed to tell your secrets here as well, as it will be no longer a secrets (there are more than 140000 mylot members :D ) i really agree with you. secrets are the one who break relationship most of the time. it created misunderstanding and stuff. same as u, actually if i have given a choice i would rather not to have and listen to secrets.
@neztin (476)
• Singapore
15 Sep 08
i believe that only true friends that able to keep our secrets. those that are simply spills out the bean may not be a good friend after all. but also sometimes it depends on which secrets that have been leaked out. if those oh not so important secrets that can do harm on us, maybe they are sensible enough to choose which one can ke kept and not.
