I am in love with a phantom

i think he was cheated on internet. it happens many time. people should be cautious before committing to any one like this. i think so.

She was playing it safe like she should.Because woman never know if a person is telling the whole truth they for all she knows she could be talking to a killer to stalker so she was playing it safe and smart. I don't feel that everything about her was a lie. It would be hard to keep a ongoing lie for 2 years without tripping oneself up a bit. You stated it was a on and off again relationship so that could mean that she was only with him when she wasn't with someone else. After 2 years and knowing he loved her why hadn't he tried to find her sooner? I know I would have tried to found out sooner and more about her..We can't all get lucky and fall in law online.My Uncle did he met and married the woman he fell in love with online. They are perfect for each other almost 8 years married and things still is good between them. Maybe your friend will find someone else and hopefully close to him so that they will be able to meet up and get to know each other that way. Online relationships can only take you so far.

Just be there for him, listen to him, comfort him and I know you won't but don't laugh at him for being misled. Help him to go out and about and to meet a lady that he can see with his eyes from the outset.

That happens a lot. I have seen many friends and family fooled, including my own daughter. It's so hard because it's so easy to lie. I never will trust, one hundred percent, what I hear about people online, unless I already know them or a friend or family member knows them.

What a shame this happened to your friend! The best way you can help him is to introduce him to some real-live new friends who could go out with him and cheer him up! Unfortunately, we can never really be sure who we are communicating with online, and it's a huge risk. One of my sisters-in-law fell for someone on the internet and ended up leaving her husband and family to go to America to be with this person. It turned out the man was nothing like he'd portrayed himself, and she found herself with nowhere to go, as there was no way she could stay with this person. I hope your friend finds happiness soon.

Ah that's really sad! But what's wrong with him? That person lied to him! Why would he want anything to do with someone who told him a whole lie about her life? Nothing she told him was the truth. Try to explain this to him. Everything about her was nothing-nothing but a lie! You can't be in love with someone that you know nothing about who can't be honest about anything and you don't really know. What is wrong with him. Tell him he needs to wake up and get a reality check! He needs to realize that this person who he thinks he is in love with doesn't even exist in the real world so he needs to forget about her because she doesn't exist! She is a liar!

Im so sorry for your friend , all what i can say is divert his mind , i dont know how guys fall in love with someone whom they never met and not known them very intimately? These things happens to people who never analyses well ,he should have asked your opinion atleast.. whatever it is no use for him to cry now, you should comfort him by making him understand that such things happens due to our carlessness and fast decision making, hope your friend is matured enough to understand .

All you can do is be there for him. go out or stay in. Let him vent. When or maybe I should say if he gets ready to forget her, he will.

[i]Hi ronald, He has to help himself and move one..The only thing you can do is to invite him to go out or play your favorites sports so that he will not just stay in his place and think about the girl..The pain for sure will be healed but it takes time! Hopefully, he will learn from this and will not trust much from people he never meet in person! It is possible to fall inlove with someone online for sure but, he has to reserve something for himself since he has no assurance not until he will meet the girl![/i]

Hi ronald, He must help himself, but you can be there for him whenever he needs to talk to someone. I have seen things like this before and it does take time to get over something like this. He must stop chatting with her and make a complete break, he will find it difficult but he can do this. In time he will forget her. Blessings.

And all this happened online? How can a person love another person without meeting in person? Obviously a relationship just online doesn't work as the other person can lie about everything. So I don't get how your friend can think he loves her when he doesn't know her. I guess that is why you are saying he was in love with a phantom because that is what she was/is. What would possess your friend to carry on a two year relationship without meeting? He will get over it and he should find a real person, not a phantom, that he can love in real person, in real life, not siberspace.

Time is a great healer. He should learn from the experience. Perhaps he will meet someone else real soon. :-)

In this case of his awareness about the situation and you already advice him of the best thing he have to do but still he pursue on loving this woman so I guess there is nothing you can do unto this situation but to leave him for a while and give him time to think......

Maybe at the present we can't do anything to help him out,time can wash away and dilute the hurt he has suffered.but let him recover from the sadness ,you can take him to some place for sigghtseeing or other activities,not let him stay alone,or he will feel lonely,and think about something about the phantom again.

That is a touchy situation, and it is up to him and in his own way he will get over her. He needs to get out and meet others he can not sit in and dwell over her. As long as that's all that's he is doing is pining over her, he will not get over her. So going out and doing other things and meeting other people he will get over her.

It is very sad for your friend, but he perhaps prefers to live a fantasy which is why he is so hurt by what has happened. The Internet is a handy place for meeting people, but, being an anonymous environment, it lends itself well to people misrepresenting themselves and being economical with the truth! However, there are some easy tell tale signs that something isn't right. For example, when they want to keep a long conversation without meeting; when they don't really give too much information about themselves and when the relationship is not really progressing. As a rule, if that person doesn't want to meet, talk by phone or move off the Internet to the next physical level after about a month of correspondence, then alarm bells should go. Your friend sounds as though he knew what was happening but perhaps didn't want to progress things either so was quite happy with the way things were. Being honest, he needs to get a life. To decide what he really wants from a lady and then work on that. Not talk endlessly online, like a friend, when he is actually seeking a partner. Otherwise, he will just keep getting hurt, sadly. The minute someone is behaving erratically or disappearing on and off, it means they have problems in their life or is hiding something. It's not too difficult to see, especially when there are no explanations either.

I'm sorry about your friend. I think that, at this point, the only thing you can do is to be there for him. From what you have been saying, he seems to need a friend, someone there to comfort him. I hope that he'll eventually get over it.

take him & have his head examined. he needs help.

Hi ronaldinu, You can't do anything but just be there for him, he has to go through a time of grief because that is what he is doing so just wait in time he will get over her. The best thing is just be there when he needs you. Tamara

I am very misguided when it comes to this We know,we are warned and we are cautioned that online is wonderful and great However we know nothing about anyone is the real truth in most cases Am in a female/male/young or old and the real identity a real mystery. I wish i could have sympathy but i am sorry i donot I could say "I told you so " but that doesnot help The real plus is that this thing went no further Good Luck and he will recover