Help needed. I'm turning 30 and I don't know how to drive a car.

I am Thirty and I do not drive either and I have a special needs son...You would think I would want to drive but I hate it! Since age eighteen I have taken four road tests and failed...I got discouraged and quit...Besides that I moved to the city where buses were readily accessible! I take the bus to work and walk my son to school and make appointments around my husbands schedule for my son which he would attend anyway! I don't find myself a burden to him...I do a lot of walking and then bus when necessary...I make it work because Io hate driving so much! I don't think driving is for everyone! My Mom is sixty and does not drive....My dad drives thirty minutes to take her to work five days a week and has never minded doing so! He is a really good man and never bothered her about not driving... These are just my views. I also want to say though that it is possible to learn at an older age as my Aunt did and now she loves driving...I think she might have been in her thirties or forties before she drove for the first time! If you want to learn then get a good instructor and take your time...don't rush into anything! Good Luck but don't feel pressured to learn! ~Heavens~

hello zalilame, i think maybe the reasons why we dont drive (i used to, but not anymore) is because of our fears in the past, but maybe if we have to face our fears we could do driving. in my case, my husbands tells me to drive again, because its really a necessity since i have 2 kids and he's not always there when we need him coz he's working. i have to think of my kids so they would be my inspiration for me to drive again, and all we have to do is have the courage and of course, ask for God's guidance. :)

i think we are in the same boat... i am also turning 30 next month and i still don't know how to drive as well... i used to drive a little bit in the past... but not good at all... i experienced a car accident and damaged my brand new car really badly... after that i am so afraid to drive and just depend on my hubby to take me everywhere... take care and have a nice day...

don't stress yourself too much.. ask for counselor's guidance to help overcome your fear.. but of course, help youself too..i have my fears too but i don't let it control my life.. i try to conquer it as much as i can..

Wow. Well it sounds like you have something called a panic attack when you get behind the wheel. I completely sympathise with you and I'm so sorry about your loss :( I would maybe recommend going to the doctors about the trembling feelings. He could give you something to help ease your fear. You can also try natural remedies, like Rescue Remedy or something - from experience, that really helps. I think it would be great if you got driving lessons, make your husband proud! :) Good Luck! x

hi there fear to drive and do not how to drive is totally 2 different things basically you need to overcome your fear by know how to drive. no offence but please use all of your common sense when you drive for the start you may steer tesco trolley, try not to bump to other people. i found it that it use same basic as it steer with front wheel. it sound dumb but you may try to side park with the trolley. try to park with front going first which you will not going to park it efficiently and next try with reverse. before you go to driving school, try to drive an automatic car to get comfortable with the car and the drive. you need to convice somebody to lend and accompany you driving on empty highway (probably 2/3 am). good luck

What is the big deal? I too am past 30 and have yet to go about getting my license. With alternative modes of transport around, I am not finding trouble getting around. NO problem if I did not get a car or a license for that matter. It is not that I am afraid or anything. Time has been tight and add to that some proscatination to study, I have yet to get my license. The only way to overcome a fear is to face it. If you are afraid of driving, then start by driving some where where it is quiet. Like the car park near your home. Or around your neighbourhood. Drive an auto car. It makes it easier for you. No need to worry about changing of gears and half clutches when you are driving. Just big paddle stop, small paddle go, and turn the wheel to go in the direction you want. But if getting around without a license and a car is not a problem, there is no need to get one then. I have an uncle who is in his 60s and still do not know how to drive. So, you are not alone.

I understand how you feel, but think that you definitely should learn to drive sooner rather than later. Not because you may be a burden, but what if there is an emergency and you need to drive - your husband can't or isn't around? You really need to do this for yourself. It will be hard to conquer your fear I am sure, but you can do it. Do you have someone you trust- a friend or family member - who would not make you feel too embarrassed, that might help you? I have helped several friends and family members. Don't feel embarrassed that you are just learning at an older age than most. I have an aunt who never learned to drive or got her driver's license until she was divorced and forced to drive herself to work or have no income. It happens. Good Luck to you!!!

I haven't driven since 1977 due to a minor accident.. When I need to go somewhere either I take the bus, which I did for years when I worked or my husband takes me.. I don't feel as if I am a burden to him since we are together all of the time now that we have retired.. I would, although advise you to try and conquer that fear as it is limiting to you when you can't drive without the fears overcoming you.. It is a horrible feeling to have but I do have it whenever I get the urge to try and drive.. Maybe you can find a secluded place to drive, I drove at the cemetary, can't hurt anyone there, and just practice every day until you can overcome this irrational fear.. Good luck to you whichever way you handle it..

The only way to get over a fear of this kind is just to do it, but please, do it legally. Get a handbook from the department of motor vehicles and study it. You will then need to pass the written test. Next step is practice with a licensed driver in the front seat with you. Don't rush it. You will eventually get over your fear.

Oh, I hope you could cope up with your fear in the wheel for you felt it because you have a trauma for the bad incident happened from your friend and I guess it would be very helpful for you to have counselling to removed your fear and have your confidence again so that you will be strong again to face the wheel..

I am 27 and do not have a license either. My partner drives me everwhere. He has been used to it, as we used to go everywhere and do everything together. Now he works often, and I am unable to get other things done since I do not drive, though we have a 2nd car. I can understand wanting to get certain things accomplished before a certain age, but sometimes you have to make sure it is something important to you. Does your husband mind being relied on in this way? I am too nervous to drive, as I used to when I was a teen, but since then, have been in several horrible accidents, (as a passenger) and for quite some time was unable to even ride in a car. It is a lot better now, though I have little attacks at certain times when things heppen on the road. I drove a little while back, the furthest distance I ever had, following my love to our new place as we needed to have the 2nd car driven. I actually did well, as it was a more of a country highway, but I doubt I will drive again for awhile, (if ever) And I am okay with that. If you want it, do the practice, have your husband coach you! There are the added benefits of being able to, such as being able to switch out on long drives and such. There are not as many accidents as you think. I am sure you will be a careful driver, if that is what you want.

Hey thats ok yaa. Even my dad didnt know how to druive a car till he was 45. He learnt to drive a car at the gae of 45. So i guess its all ok about learning about cars at any point of life. Its just the will power of the person and how much he should and would learn in his life . If you still have the courage to do it. Do it.Learn it./ dont get scared. Common ur not a kid anymore. Ur 30 years old. 30 yr olds never get scared in life. They should never get scared in life also. Well anyways happy mylotting :)

Hello to you too! I was once afraid to drive so I can more or less relate to how you feel. I have been witness and part of so several car accidents, that I ended fearing the mere thought of driving. But when I turned 21 that my dad literally had to push me to learn how to drive in order for me to get a license and also a valid ID, I really didn't want to but I had to. LOL. I've learned that the best way to cure fear is to face the cause of your fear, right now I "vanquished" my fear and enjoy every bit of freedom driving on your own brings. Now if I was able to do it I'm confident you'll be able to do it too. Just think of happy thoughts, breathe and enjoy the ride. Goodluck!! **wink**

its never too late to learn to drive, i first started learning to drive when i was in my early 20's . in fact my son was a toddler and used to sit in the back seat ( this was in the days before seat belts.) i got pregnant , sadly lost the baby and never went back to driving. but i developed cancer in my 50's , got over that and because i felt that if i had courage to face cancer, surely i should have another go at learning to drive. it took me a few goes, but i passed my test 4 years ago when i was 56 and have never looked back. now i understand how you feel about being frightened to drive. and i am really sorry that you saw you friend die. that must be one of the worst experiences. please dont think you are being a burden to your partner, if you dont want to drive , then dont. but you have said you have accomplished many things. and by talking about learning to drive on mylot it seems you may be able to face your fears and learn to drive. however you get on, i wish you lots and lots of luck.

Have faith in yourself. I had my permit since I was 16 years old...and did not get my license until I was 24 years old. I used the escuse of having a car would cost extra money while in school and I could walk everywhere on campus and then when I moved home I realized in the country you have to have a license and a car. But still a part of me was very afraid. Looking back now I am not sure why because I am not a bad driver, but I think it was because like you said it is a major responsibility once you become a driver that most people take for granted. So first take a deep breath and focus on the result. You want to drive not only to relieve your husband of the added stress, but also for the peace of mind in an emergency or for simple day to day things you can drive yourself. I know you mentioned about witnessing a car accident, but use this as a strength. You already know how serious it is to be a good driver....now make sure you become one. And once you sit behind the wheel and go over time the fear will go away. I remember I wanted to reschedule my driver's test for the millionth time and my dad was like no way....so I remember sitting in line and as the driver before me started his test I was nervous. Well after he was done the instructor began inspecting my car and he mentioned my right brake light was out. Apparently I was so nervous I kept my foot on the brakes the whole time I was waiting. We had to run up to an auto parts store to replace the bulb before I could test..... Try not to think of the bad things related to driving....try to focus on how it will improve your life. Good luck.

i wish you could overcome your fear. it would be a big help to both you & your husband. i know people who never drove. i'm too independant to have to rely on someone to take me everywhere. idon't know who that someone would be anyway. lol

You sound like my best friend. I taught her to drive when she was 36. She was frightened to drive. We took it slow, worked hard on slowly taking it one thing at a time. She still will not drive on a high-speed, highway but can do local driving on local streets. She is happy that she learned to drive. Just take it slow, take lessons with a pro and practice with someone who is calm and patient. You can do it. Also, getting some counseling about it might help, including hypnosis.

Do you have a driving school near you? You need to start learning where you feel really safe. Start working on the written test first and really get to know your auto. I know several people who for one reason or another didn't learn to drive until later in life, one woman over 50. So just keep in mind the reasons you want to learn and go for it. You are very brave

Have you tried going to a driving school? They can teach you the correct and safest way to drive. I don't know if they do anymore, but it use to be that insurance companies gave discounts to policy holders who went to driving school or took drivers ed.