Bill Cosby for President!
By estherlou
@estherlou (5015)
United States
October 27, 2008 12:12pm CST
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports.
We will use the 'Wal-Mart's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.
(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.
(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.!
(9) One export will be allowed; Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.
God Bless America !!!!!!!!!!!
Bill Cosby!!!!!!!!
Man oh man...I'd vote for him! LOL
6 people like this
20 responses
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
28 Oct 08
Haha i have to say some of Bills polices sound good and some very strick.We might end up losing a lot of people...
I think we are more forgiving and more of a push over than most countries..Some countries have such strick rules.In some countries they do not put up with what we do...I like the Pledge Of Allegiance being said,we always did that in school when i was growing up..You did not step on my toes,i could obey those rules...
I think we are more forgiving and more of a push over than most countries..Some countries have such strick rules.In some countries they do not put up with what we do...I like the Pledge Of Allegiance being said,we always did that in school when i was growing up..You did not step on my toes,i could obey those rules...1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
28 Oct 08
Have you seen the movie "Man of the Year" with Robin Williams? It's great! I've seen it on a few times lately, I'm sure because of the election and all. The best part is the debate when Robin Williams really tells the other candidates what they should be saying!
I know quite a few people that write in Mickey Mouse for president - one of these days he's going to win!
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
28 Oct 08
not sure if I seen this one or not bu I have been watching the TMC channel and alot of black and white movies about the way Government was run way back when and then it changed and when they got good ones in there to speak for the people they got condemded for it .. One I think was Mr. Smith goes to washingtom an other was the old Mr. Deeds
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
28 Oct 08
As I've gotten older, I tend to have to be "in the mood" to watch Robin Williams. I don't like him as a stand up comedian...too much language and off-color remarks. I remember hearing about this movie, but not sure why I missed it. We rent movies every week. If it was rated R, I always pass it up. If it was PG-13, hubby watches it first to see if I would like it, because the language in the movies nowadays just turns me off. I'll have to check it out.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
28 Oct 08
I don't remember what it was rated, but I don't think there was a lot of bad language in it. I do hope you'd like it, but the debate part is my favorite scene.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
28 Oct 08
Do you mean that wheat is going to cost the same price as oil? I like the idea of the welfare checks and punishing athletes who use steroids. As for crime no chance of rehabilitation and how can a thief start to work with his own two hands if one of them is cut off? You have to really think about these things. Oh the southbound aliens, does that mean they will not fire on anyone coming in from Canada and what about us Canadians, we have things that you might need. So some of these might work, and some well, they are not worth the paper they are printed on. You have to really think what they mean
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
28 Oct 08
theonly thing I wouldnt like about this is putting x military men at the boarder my son for one went on 11 tours and has been to Iraq and also went to desrert storm do I guees thats 2 times to Iraq.
The military men that have done this done need to be put there they need to be with their families.
the ones i wuold say should go is all the congress people that want to knock out pay for National Secuity!
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
28 Oct 08
Tell your son we appreciate his duty. Men like him are what keeps all of us free to live our lives at home and we tend to take them for granted. Thank him for us.
@Destiny007 (5805)
• United States
28 Oct 08
Well, he has my vote.
The only thing he left out was the mandatory prison sentences for members of Congress who have defrauded and abused the American people and the Constitution.... which would be nearly all of them.
@finlander60 (1804)
• United States
8 Nov 08
If we citizens were to run our finances like the government runs theirs, we would all be in jail or broke.
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
28 Oct 08
Bill Cosby is a very smart man who knows how to speak to an issue and explain things well. He is also very funny!
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
30 Oct 08
Is there a link to a site for this info?
Even one of these things: 100% import tax or wheat for oil would be a step in the right direction.
The pledge is said in every NY State school every morning. Religious schools after prayer, public schools, first thing.
We definitely need to do something to get crime under control. The criminals are ruining and running the country.
I love Bill Cosby. He's the only one who actually says what needs to be done about a lot of things. He should have started running at the beginning of this year. Even as an independent, he could have won.
Thanks and take care.
@mikeysmom (2088)
• United States
28 Oct 08
i agree with many if not all of the points made here but i do not like bill cosby for many reasons and he certainly is not qualified for president or any other political office. and i read that he did not write this anyway so it is a moot point.
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
28 Oct 08
This discussion was posted as "tongue-in-cheek" and for fun only. No one would consider a comedian qualified to be president, but strange things happen every day.
@finlander60 (1804)
• United States
8 Nov 08
One of our President's was an actor before he was President. Does anyone here remember Ronald Reagan?
@tcage08 (88)
• Canada
27 Oct 08
Wow...while it may be inspiring propoganda, talk about a way to ruin a country.
First of all, Bill doesnt understand economics. He's working off the assumption that the United States has a comparative advantage in producing EVERY good (no imports, than an import tax, than jacking up export prices), which is borderline insane. Nobody will buy wheat for the price of oil, they'll just find another country to make it more and import from them (which will be advantageous b/c with the US out of the market their business improves). And 'if we ain't got it, you don't need it'?? Try telling THAT to the American consumer economy. The desire for stuff will override going without, and it will just increase the market for smuggling/organized crime (for example, why prohibition didn't work).
And the right hand for stealing? While i agree we can all be a little tougher on crime, that's barbaric! You realize how many teens make a little mistake like petty theft and go on to lead clean lives? You make one mistake at age 12 or 13, and your future is ruined b/c you can barely find a job being physically handicapped (both being unable to do a job, and prejudice that exists towards the disabled) as well as the social stigma of being labeled a 'criminal' for life. IT would just motivate MORE people to become 'career criminals' instead of learning from their error and moving on.
And don't get me started on only english...it's that kind of prejudice that gives Americans a negative impression in the rest of the civilized world.
He does make a couple good points, I like the steroids idea...but Bill Cosby would be the worst president, and frankly i've even lost a little respect for him as a human being. In protest I will now boycott JELLO in my home ;)
@katran (585)
• United States
27 Oct 08
You are taking it WAY to seriously. I am 99.9% sure that Bill Cosby or whoever did write this would not literally cut off someone's hand for stealing and would not literally do away with all imports. You are missing the entire point of the satire. It is hyperbole in order to draw attention to some of the problems that America has right now, like our dependence on imports and our tendency towards being more and more lenient to criminals. So calm down. No one is cutting off anyone's hands. It is just making a point, and a good point in my opinion.
@redyellowblackdog (10629)
• United States
27 Oct 08
While this populist appeal is impractical, it could be modified into a practical form and the candidate hawking it should be elected except that he wouldn't be. Somehow, someway, this guy would be protrayed as a dangerous whack job.
Look at Congressman Ron Paul. He actually had a positive plan for returning to constitutional law. He was repeatedly called a 'moonbat' and worse. The same would happen to a populist candidate espouseing a practical, realistic message somewhat similar to the one in the orginal post.
@GardenGerty (160998)
• United States
27 Oct 08
A lot going for him. Good perspective, right color, if that matters to some, keeping it simple. Would it not be a blast to have him serve?
@blackbriar (9076)
• United States
27 Oct 08
FINALLY! A reason for me to register to vote. He's got my vote!
@ClarusVisum (2163)
• United States
27 Oct 08
This is total bunk:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/platform.asp
On top of that, the list is full of ideas far too stupid for Cosby--he'd surely know better, he's a smart guy.
Firstly, English is only the main language in this country because people came from England and slaughtered the indigenous people. It's nothing but pure hypocrisy to insist that this language that was INJECTED into this country by force ought to be the 'official' language. And no company assumes you want Spanish and asks you to press a number for English, instead of the other way around.
Secondly, no imports? Are you kidding? You think this is a good idea? We import EVERYTHING these days. If we were to suddenly disallow imports for ANY significant length of time, the country would tank nearly instantly.
Ah, why bother continuing? The whole thing's made up anyway. Do a little research next time so that you don't buy into these nonsense chain e-mails in the future.
@katran (585)
• United States
27 Oct 08
That is purely amazing. If only there was a real candidate running on this platform. Come to think of it, if only there was a candidate who could get away with running on this platform without being shot first. Seriously, we have become way too politically correct for our own good in America.
