Grandpa Called Me The "N" Word
By singlemommy
@singlemommy (2955)
United States
December 12, 2008 9:05pm CST
If you don't already know. My son is biracial, but my daughter is caucasian. I have had a bad experience or two with my daughter's great grandfather because he doesn't approve of my biracial son. I've posted before about some of his racial comments, etc, but this one totally takes the cake for me.
I picked up my daughter from her cousin's house today (she goes there after school every day). When I got there my daughter's cousin had a cap on, pink with sequins all over it, it was a really cute hat. I told her that I liked it. She told me that everyone has been making fun of it and this is quote for quote, "Grandpa bleep called me the N word". Sorry, I don't want to give his real name so I bleeped it. I didn't know what to say.
I mean, I know he is racist, that is not something he tries to hide, but now he is calling his own great granddaughter the "N" word? I'm sorry, but does all this man have in his heart is hatred? I mean this is his own flesh and blood? I would NEVER call anyone the "N" word, no matter what color their skin was period.
What do you think about this?
5 people like this
25 responses
@ganga472007 (624)
• India
13 Dec 08
I took pity up on the grand old man, who is not capable of understanding the feelings of his own heirs. I think he has no avenues to gain more knowledge about the world and failed to update modern idealogies.
@trinale (1479)
• United States
14 Dec 08
I think you should keep your children as far away from that man as possible! Hatred and racism only breeds more hatred and racism. I probably won't see it in my lifetime, but with each generation, people learn to accept each other as they are more and more.
I was raised that way. I raised my older children the same. My daughter is doing the same with her children. Excuse me for stealing the phrase but people need to judge others by their character, not their skin color. If your grandfather wants to live in the past, let him, but don't take your children there or we'll never see the end of racism.
Cheers,
Stan
1 person likes this
@GhostCat (313)
• United States
14 Dec 08
From what you said in your posting and in one of your replies, I gather there is not much you can really do to try and correct your daughter's great grandfather or even to confront him, since he is not related to you. And since you cannot actually keep her away from her great-grandfather, perhaps the best you can do for her, besides comforting her, is to provide you daughter with the confidence and vocabulary to stand up to her great-grandfather. This may also give her the confidence to tell her 'dad' that she doesn't enjoy being around her great-grandfather, which I assume to be the case. But don't push it too much. You do not want to traumatize her. Be supportive and understanding and she will develop that confidence to take care of herself, perhaps better than you can. And this is a skill that will last her for the rest of her life. Good Luck. Bset Wishes and Happy Holidays to you and your children!
1 person likes this
@sudalunts (5523)
• United States
14 Dec 08
How sad that a grown man would say something like to a child, or to anyone for that matter. I guess he does not know or care how those words can damage a child. Children are gifts from God, and he should love and accept your son, regardless of who his father is.
It is too bad that people still have racism in their hearts.
I think your grandfather was wrong and he needs to apologize to his great granddaughter and never say anything like that again.
1 person likes this
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
13 Dec 08
It is disgusting! Especially to call your oen family those kinds of names. He needs a good swift kick in the butt and I dont care how old he is. For him to be so cruel is awful and he does not deserve to have family in his life.
1 person likes this
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
13 Dec 08
Oh dear and he's her grandpa, if I'm not mistaken... Poor, poor kid. I'm so sorry that happened to her. Is she all right emotionally for this? If I were you, I would have to say something. There'd be no way for me to keep my big mouth shut.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
13 Dec 08
I would excuse the old man because of his age, but you could ask him to use a less offensive word. Like say "part black: or "part negro" The old man comes from a different time when the blacks were working low class jobs, acting servile, and he probably remembers those blacks who were former slaves. He is not used to things being equal because for most of his life there was this great class division between the whites and the blacks.
It is the same with my grandmother in England, she told us about the Co*kneys (lower class Londoners who lived in London) and said she was glad that her family was taught the Queen's English. It was a different time then, and the class distinction was more emphasized.
1 person likes this
@spiderlizard22 (3444)
• United States
13 Dec 08
Tell him he doesn't have to like him but he is not going to disrespect him.
1 person likes this
@mikeysmom (2088)
• United States
13 Dec 08
i think he is ignorant and should not be allowed around the children, period. he is a bad influence. if he doesn't "approve" of a human being who is his flesh and blood then it is his problem to deal with not the child. unfortunately, we cannot shield our children from all the hatred in the world but we can certainly keep them away from ignorant relatives.
1 person likes this
@general1star (149)
• United States
13 Dec 08
Put that man in check!! First, that's your daughter! Second no child should be called names by anyone let alone a grandparent. Nor should a child start learning that early about this disgusting prejudice. He may have thought the comment was not meant in that way but let me assure you deep down it was or he would not have said it. Prejudice like this is fueled by fear and ignorance, how dare he bring a child into it. But no, I don't think any man or woman has only hate in their heart.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
13 Dec 08
Unfortunately, some people are just very narrow-minded and don't realize that although it was acceptable when they are younger to treat people that way, it isn't now. I think the best thing you can do is explain to your children that some people just can't open their eyes enough to see the beauty that all colors add to the world. Don't try to change him, it's not going to work. Just make sure you are raising your children to not follow in his footsteps.
1 person likes this
@Remembering1996 (2219)
• United States
13 Dec 08
That is horrible how could he be like this? poor kid it's not like she chose how and what she wanted to be when born. That is so wrong for him to do just reassure her that god loves her no matter what anyone says for he created her and accepts her for who she is. It's really sad when kids have to go through things like this on a day to day basis. I do hope things get better for her for she dosn't deserve to be told that or should have to feel the way she does.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
13 Dec 08
Grandpa needs a serious talking to followed by a time out. If I were you I'd confront him about this. He needs to understand that children are raised based upon their upbringing and morals. And by him showing racism is ok he is reinforcing a bad behavior. Not to mention the fact that it was just plain cruel. You can bet I wouldn't allow a family member to say such things about my child and get away with it!
1 person likes this
@miraclefreebies (3043)
• United States
13 Dec 08
OH my goodness! His own great grandchild? That's is awful! How low can a person go? It sounds like his heart is filled with nothing but hatred and it doesn't matter to him if he hurts his own flesh and blood or not. His love for his grandchild should be stronger and greater than his hatred for towards anyone. I hate to hear things like this, it just breaks my heart that anyone can hurts their own family in such a horrible way without thinking twice about it and how the person that they hurt may feel.
@LCHBheart (167)
• Singapore
13 Dec 08
A*holes exist in this universe, regardless of the color of their skin. An appropriate is, "That's becuz dear, Grandpa is an A*hole."
1 person likes this
