does a spouse have a right to some privacy from the other spouse?

You might want to think about counselling for both of you.Together. Maybe there are issues that have to be addressed regarding your relationship... When someone feels that has to keep something from the other, than it's about something in the relationship that does not work.And, in my opinion, has to be found and addressed. Good luck!

Well counseling sessions are confidential for a reason. This is why some people go to counseling together and also separately. There may be issues that relate to the marital relationship but there may also be personal issues that have nothing to do really with your spouse. Of course because of these issues, it could AFFECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP but that doesn't mean that it always has to do with them. You have a right to your privacy about such matters. I mean there are some things I just deal with myself because it's not okay to dump them on him, maybe they have to do with my parents or other relatives, friends from childhood, or other things that he had no hand in and couldn't fix anyway, know what I mean?

I think you should just divulge what you are comfortable with in counseling. There are things you probably want to keep to yourself and are going to not tell anyone. I think that you are entitled to your rights in that regard and should not talk about anything you are not comfortable with.

Your counselor is not doing his/her job by letting these sessions turn into what you perceive as interrogations. As you have already posted, when you start to feel that you are under the bright, white light...you shut down...so you and your husband are not progressing at this point. This is when your counselor should step in and redirect the conversation in a more productive way. You need to speak with him/her and make your feelings about this known...if possible before the next session. It's not productive and you're paying this person to help you and your husband to produce results. There is such a thing as letting things out a little at a time...at a pace that either one of you are comfortable with...and it's not necessary for either of you to know every minute detail of every little thing in order to gain an understanding of the problems and to work towards resolving them.

Everyone is entitled to a little privacy. Privacy even between husband and wife is also essential. You sometimes need your space and do not want to share some things. It is perfectly alright. One shoud not take it amis and feel that there is some conspiracy which is hatching. I think when a couple can reach that sort of understanding they can be happy.

maybe he's right to ask you so he would know what's happening but if you don't want to share with him, then he should respect you for that, coz I think every one has the right to have some privacy even from our spouse... Who knows at that moment you really need some privacy and after a while you may share with him that experience or anything... well, at times, it does happen to me with my husband... :)

I think that even in a trusting relationship there should be an element of privacy. People need to space, they need to be trusted. Otherwise you feel suffocated and end up discourged in such a relationship. I do believe that even in marriage a spouse is entitled to some privacy.

To me why cant you all just sit down and talk about what is going on with one another. Instead of going to a counselor. To me you need to be open and honest in a relationship. If you are in a relationship you are not allowed to keep things to yourself. You guys need to be able to communicate. To me it seems like their is no communication in this marriage.

actually, you can keep things from him if you want...that is your right. but reality is that you are paying him to understand your mind so he is just doing his job. his help to you will be based upon the info that you give him. If I were a councellor, I'd want to know as much as I could about a situation in order to give fair councelling. you do have a right to privacy of course but councelling and privacy usually don't go together. You are wasting your money if you hold back. he is right.

Communication is always the key to any relationship. If you have to see someone outside the relationship for problems which are related to both of you then i think you need to spend more time together and learn to communicate more. Some things are just private though or better off being private. E.g. better to discuss with a close friend a relationship issue at work where someone is trying to make advances towards you as your spouse may become jelous or inflamed on the situation. Personally i discuss everything with my wife as much as she wants to hear anyway..

Interesting. In my relationship there are no secrets at all. We communicate everything and if I needed to go to a counsellor then he would want to know everything. I keep a journal where I right all my thoughts, well no not all of them now but things that bother me. If there is anything that I feel I cannot talk about or the right moment to talk about just does not come up then I write it in my journal for him to read and sometimes that leads us to talk about it. I believe my partner is unusual. He wants to know all the things that distress or upset me and fix them if he can. Sometimes they are external to the relationship and not fixable so he tries to talk me through them and show me that there is no point in getting stressed about something I have no power to change. He is right and I know it but sometimes I get so frustrated at things. The journal is voluntary and since I am better at writing my problems than saying them it works for me. I never think of it as privacy as I want him to know my thoughts. I have my own space in our house and so does he. We are both introverts and need our space.

If there is an issue that you feel is sensitive, you can ask to have a private session with the counselor. We did counseling, and it helped. I was open to say anything but not my husband. I was never punished for things I said but he was, as a child, and I feel that had a lot to do with his holding back.

Wow! It would seem to me that it would be a little bit reversed in a situation like this. Women are usually the ones who want to pick the husband's brain and know all the details. Guys don't seem to be the ones to really care about that type of thing. I think you should have your privacy. But if you want to get him to listen to that you may need to give him the expert opinion of the counselor. It's sort of like passing the buck. You say "The counselor feels that we need to have some sense of trust with him/her to be able to be totally honest. He/she says we can't progress unless we can really get everything out in the open with him/her." Something like that. Then he may not be as suspicious. He may not think that you are hiding things, but just following orders.

I don't think there is a right here as each feels differently about the situation therefore making it right in their eyes. I do however feel that if needed a person is entitled to whatever privacy they are needing at the time and I also believe that the other needs to respect that need. When a person is ready to talk about things they will but being pressured is not the way to do it. Patience always pays off in the end.

Of course! each one deserve his and your own privacy. A couple need that, It's one way to showing some respect of each other. each other's right.

yah, you have the right to have a privacy from your partner. Eventhough you are already married, it doesnt mean that you have to tell him every little thing that you do in your life. Maybe if the "thing" you are keeping from him, involves both of you or your relationship, then maybe he has the right to know about it. But if you want to keep something for yourselves, then he must respect that, as much as he respects you.

I think a spouse is entitle to their privacy. I believe that, if you don't want to share something with your spouse such as a therapy session, if there are certain things that you don't want to share than you shouldn't have to share and your significant other shouldn't try to pry it out of you. Just let them know that you don't feel like talking about it at this point. Is probably about the best way of going about it.

Thanks for the best response and I hope all is going well for you.

no, as soon as you're in a relationship you are now living in a de facto military dictatorship, your thoughts belong to the state, obey us, vermin of course you should be able to get as much space as you want, counselor time is 'off duty' time. ask the spouse if he suspects you're cheating on him with the counselor, and if he says no, end of story, no business of his what's being talked there, IMO. Peace

Yes I think so. But once you seek for a professional help, I think you should tell him even the littlest detail of your life for him to be able to fully help you.. Happy posting and Godspeed...