teenager having babies
By sammyo
@sammyo (21)
United States
December 21, 2008 12:29am CST
Well, my 17 year old just found out she having a baby. Her and her boyfriend have been together for a year now. She came to me in Oct. to see if she can get some birth cotrol. I told her even throu she is on birth control, she can still get pregnant. Well, that what happen. After she went to the dr. she come home crying. I told her that it well be alright. The boyfriend is still in her life. And willing to help her out while she is in school next years. This is he last year in school. I think she will be a good mom. I have seen her with babies in the past. I told her that it will be ok, and I am here for her no matter what she decide to do. My question to all of you guys is how would you of handle your teenage daughter getting pregnant?
Think very hard about this, cause I know what my daughter is going throw. My mother stand behind me throw everything i went throw. And for that I have more respect for her.
6 people like this
28 responses
@sixclix (677)
• Philippines
21 Dec 08
Well, she's already pregnant so might as well support her. It would be pointless to reprimand her for something that's already done and cannot be undone. She needs all the support she can get since she's just 17 and pregnant.
goodluck to the both of you.
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
21 Dec 08
Ok here I had a baby at 16 and I put it up for adoption and my parents stood behind me on what ever I wanted. As for getting PG again. I didn't and then I had a med. problem later and I kept having miscariges so then I had a girl and she lived for only 13 day's then I got a boy and he is 18. And you know are parents had babies at 16 and 18 and they got married. That is not a baby anymore or a child she is a young adult and will be just fine. Make her make all the descions and take care of the baby and daycare. Oh yes one more thing his parents are responible for child support as he is a minor. Try that. Have a good day. And she is still a good kid and your still a great MOM. Merry Christmas.
1 person likes this
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
23 Dec 08
Why thank you very much. But I alway's had a heads up on that my uncle adtoped a little girl so I already knew how wonderful it was for the parents that couldn't have kids. Getting rid of the baby was never a thought as I was going to keep the baby or give up for Adoption. My Father daid well, here are all your options and I told him Dad how could you. He looked at me and said hey I'm new at this and this is what they told me to tell you. So I looked at him and laughed and so sis he and he said he was proud that I would never get rid or kill the baby. no matter if it was just as big as a thumb. Dads. Don't worry to bad it will all work it's self out. plus there are all kinds of place's on line to sign up for baby things and you get free stuff in the mail as well. You have a wonderful day and hang in there. I'm here if you need me. onlydia
1 person likes this
@sammyo (21)
• United States
22 Dec 08
We have talk about adoption and doing away with the pragnant. I do have strong viewpoints on doing away with the pragnant. But as adoption goes I do feel that if the person feel she cant take care of the baby, that would be the right thing to do. I feel doing away with pragnant is the wrong thing to do, adoption it the best thing to do. I had a friend, she and her husband could not have kids. I seen her pain everytime I would talk about my kids. I pray every night that she would get her baby. I know she would be a great mom, my kids love her so much. She was always there when I need someone to watch them from me. But, I know it hurt her when i come back to get them. She loves kids so much. So I want to say, when you decided to give you baby up for adoption, you did something wonderful for a couple. That could not of had of child of thier own. I want to thank you.
2 people like this
@savypat (20216)
• United States
22 Dec 08
I've been there done that, Had my daughter when I was 18 and 2 days. Missed my last year of high school. I was just to sick to attend. You know it all worked out OK. There are certainly easier ways to run your life, but some of us do more and get farther when things are tough. My daughter is now a beautiful 50 year old person with two grown kids of her own, I have a 50+ year marriage to a great man who is the father of that daughter. So hang in there, be strong and supportive. And most of all enjoy your new grandchild and treasure it. Blessings
@savypat (20216)
• United States
23 Dec 08
You know you cannot control what people think or do. But you can be her strong support. Just keep pushing the positive toward your daughter and be there so she has someone to trust and who she can confide in. I had no one and that made it even harder for me, but in the end it all turned out ok. One thing I do remember is that I never really thought of the baby as a person until she was born, then overnight I feel in love with her. The Mother instinct came to me full force. My hope is that
she will have that wonderful feeling also. Hang in there and stay calm and strong for your daughter.
@sammyo (21)
• United States
23 Dec 08
Im excited about my first grandchild, but at the sometime Im wronged about my daughter. Is that wrong for me to wrong about my daughter. I know she almost adult, and I know she can handle this. But, I know what I went throw in high and being pregnant at the sometime. I have talk to her about what I went throw in high school. Dont get my wrong I had lot of people in school who stand by me throw it all, but I also had those who look at me like i was doing something wrong.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
22 Dec 08
It's funny that I should come across this discussion now, because my 17 year old friend went into labour this morning! She is expecting a little girl, and it looks like she will be coming into the world anytime soon!
It was a shock to her and her boyfriend, but they have stayed together, and are now very excited about it. Both sets of parents have been amazing for them, and of course they have their friends (me included!) to help out as much as we can.
I think it's really important for the parents to be there for the children.
What's done is done, and there is no going back, so there's no point in being disappointed or angry or anything like that.
I could understand if the girl was underage, but not at 17.
I think you're being a really good, understanding mother by standing by your daughter.
She will cope a lot better knowing that she has you to help her every step of the way.
@goodkat (63)
• Romania
22 Dec 08
For her future, I think it would be better to support the idea of an abortion. I know it sounds horrible, but a child being forced to take care of another child is not a bright idea. Maybe she wants to go to a college or university, and thus can't take care of a baby. To me, education comes first.
Be wise!
PS: I've had an abortion myself and it was the best thing to do.
PPS: I was 21 at the time.
@sammyo (21)
• United States
23 Dec 08
I just had to say thanks for your ideal. But, I am not for abortion. Well, the child that is pragnant right now. I had a very hard time with her pragnant, in the begin the doctors was tell me I need to abort the pragnants. Cause she mite come out with disform body, or mental problems. But, I can say she is perfactly normal child. I do feel the something about education. She know we will help her with the care of her child. Even the boyfriend said that her education is important. But as abortion goes, I feel that is taking a life. I do realize that there some people out there that feel different then I do.
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
21 Dec 08
This is the time when she needs your support. Scolding or being angry with her is definitely is not a solution. I am glad you have extended your support to her. She will definitely need it in the times to come. Since she is still studying she will have difficulty in the initial period. Atleast her boyfriend is still with her. Managing her studies and with a baby along it will be a hard time for her. Getting support from the family is very important. When faced with a situation a girl would go through guilt and would seek support from people close to her. If she doesn't get a support from family then she might do something drastic.
@mflower2053 (3223)
• United States
2 May 09
congratulations. I believe everything happens for a reason weather good or bad. i think it is great and your an awesome mom for helping her through this. my oldest is only 3 so hopefully I won't have to deal with this for many years but I do believe in helping your kids through anything. I don't understand how parents and kick their kids out when something like this happens to them.
@us2owls (1681)
• United States
4 May 09
I am so glad that your daughter and you have a good relationship. She is going to need you a lot if she is going to finish school. As you well know a baby takes up a lot of time plus she will hve to study. I hope her boyfriend continues to stand by her too. My oldest daughter got pregnant, got married graduated from High School, gave birth about 6 weeks later and thirteen months later was a widow when her husband was killed in a tragic accident. She went on to become a nurse and Paramedic. Good luck and God Bless. I know you will be a great grandmother for your grandchild.
@idowrite72 (2213)
• United States
16 Jan 09
My oldest daughter was pregnant at 17, also, and although I don't think she believed it, I was behind her the entire time. She was having a difficult time with her younger brother, who is 3 years younger, so she chose to move from the house and lived with my mother while she was pregnant. She was a senior in high school and still graduated with her class. Her daughter is now 13 and is beautiful, well rounded, intelligent, athletic, well-behaved, and she did it on her own. The father has been in and out of the picture and signed off his paternity years ago, but has provided some monetary support over the years, but has never been a real father to her. She also has 2 little sisters, who she helps take care of. I have always been supportive and helped in any way I could, although I was a single parent myself and she had 3 younger siblings. She was lucky that she had much support from my family.
@marcialoyd (1173)
• United States
26 Dec 08
I would support my child if she found herself in this situation. My hats off to you for doing just that. So many parents turn their backs on their daughters when this happens and it is just not right. Mistakes are made but that doesn't mean she won't be the best mother this world has ever seen!
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
21 Dec 08
Of course you have to stand by your daughter, she's your child and it looks like she at least tried to do the responsible thing. I'm glad she's in a stable relationship with the baby's father but your daughter still needs to be able to take care of herself and her child if the relationship doesn't work out for some reason. She needs to have some marketable skills when she graduates from high school or soon afterwards. In the meantime, it's good that she has a caring mother like you to help her through this. 
@sammyo (21)
• United States
22 Dec 08
We have talk about her finishing school, and she going to. And her boyfriend is going to help make sure she does. Me and her boyfrien only with her, have set down and talk about everything. We even watch a dvd on baby care. We even got on utube and look up birth, and she watch them. So she is getting ready for the baby and what to come. I told her I want her take a bithing class, too. She said she going to.
@nini89 (670)
• India
7 Jan 09
How come she is a teenager and got pregnant. In India it is illegal if any teenager is getting preganat They should attain the age of 18 to get married. Child marriage is now illegal as they are small and cannot handle. After 18 years they can have a child. Now I feel pity on your daughter she has to bevery careful now. Happy posting and have a good day.
@juliehvr (40)
• United States
7 Mar 09
I am walking in your shoes. My daughter just came to me, She is pregnant! I am hurt and confused. She was not allowed to have a boyfriend, but she met this boy in the bathroom at a picnic. I am probably just a lost and confused as she is. I am going to take one day at a time.
@MizzLadyB08 (1174)
• United States
9 Jan 09
Not many teenage girls have their parents behind them when they get pregnant. Your daughter is very grateful to have you and I am glad to see that you are going to stand by her. I am 29 years old and when I was a teenager I seen so many girls end up pregnant and their parents was disappointed about the situation and some of them even disowned them, leaving them nowhere to turn. Your daughter is going to thank you so many times for you being there for her.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
21 Dec 08
My fiance and I do not yet have children but I come from a family of early mothers, so I think that if my teenage girl was to have a baby I would support her through it all and let her know that I love her. You can't punish anyone for what they've already done and I think that having a child will give them the responsibility they may need. Having a child isn't a punishment either, so I want to clarify that if you might have read between the lines.
I think that if you feel you've raised the child right, even if they do have a child for themselves, atleast you can know that your morals are instilled in them and that they know that they have to take responsibility.
I think this is a great discussion by the way, happy holidays to you and yours. Congratulations to your daughter.
@lisa0502 (1724)
• Canada
21 Dec 08
I would have to say that I would do exactly what you are doing. I know this because I am in the same situation. The only difference is that my daughter is living with the father of the child. I am not that fond of him but I will still support her as much as possible.
@vanonas (949)
• United States
21 Dec 08
Wow, was she not taking them at the same time everyday? I mean all you can do now is be there for her. You can't get rid of the baby unless you got an abortion which I would not want to have. You're just gong to have to support her and help her the whole way.
I'm 18 and I think my mom and dad would be really upset with me if I had a child. They would want me to stop school because I had a baby and I wouldn't want to leave my baby for them to take care of. It would have been my fault the baby was there so I'd want to take full responsibility for my actions.
@momtrying2makeit (3270)
• United States
21 Dec 08
I got pregnant at 16 years old and I keep my daughter. I have two now and I never have regreted them. I had a lot of support from both of my parnets, my dad passed away two years ago and he was the most supportive. Anyway love her and explain to her that she needs to be responiable for this child but you will help her thru the hard times as well.
I hope this helps and get the father of the baby involved as well he is responiable as well. Happy mylotting:)
@oXAquaXo (607)
• United States
21 Dec 08
Well, If this happened to my daughter, I would want her to abort. She has a future ahead of her, and having this baby may ruin it, since she would have to take care of her baby. But if you must have this kid, I would definitely support her, since that is what parents do.
@felixsun2007 (31)
• China
22 Dec 08
Nice to meet you on Mylot, Sammyo.I have to show my respect to you for what you did to your daughter. So my answer to you is the same deed, becuase at this time your daughter needs support but not judging, if you put more judging words on her, the result won't be possitive and the result maybe would be harmful. If I have a daughter commit the same, I would have a peaceful talk with her and this talk should be a family talk which means a talk between parents and daughter. I think a 17 years old girl doesn't have a mature mind, she would not know the result well, so if you talk to her with love and let us forgive her not press her too much, a possitive situation would happen on her.
