Problem #1

No offense but that sounds kind of ridiculous to me. I don't think your mother should have to ask permission to go anywhere. I do agree that she should have told someone where she was going. And she should have been honest about where she had been when she got home. I always have to ask my husband permission if I want to go somewhere. I don't think it is fair. I am my own person and should be able to do what I want. Maybe that is how your mom feels. Every now and then people need to get away from everything and do what they want. So don't be to hard on your mom. She probably juat wanted a little space.

Being an adult, your mom should never have to ask permission. It is, however, only common courtesy to let your spouse know where you are. I could not imagine going out and not telling those that I live with where I'm going. When I was married, it would not have felt right if I didn't tell my husband and more than likely invite him along. I cant fault your dad for being upset. Obviously there are some issues going on between the two of them. As for suggestions on what you should do....stay clear of it and let them work it out. Don't take sides even if it seems that one is very wrong. There could be much more to the story than you realize and there usually is.

i think your mum is trying to avoid the problem... i don't think she should be going out from the house and go back so late without telling anybody in the house... she could have make everybody in the house worrying about her... especially your father... does she bring a mobile phone??? the least she could have done is to make a phone call... there is nothing really that you can do... if you want to try, you can ask your mother the reason why she goes out without telling anybody... good luck... take care and have a nice day...

I agree with what the previous posts say. Your mom shouldn't have to ask permission to go somewhere because she is already an adult. I don't know which country you're from, but in mine, my mom usually doesn't have to ask permission whenever she goes out. And my dad never blows up on her too. You should definitely tell your dad to apologize for something so petty and to try to treat your mom as somewhat of an equal. That's what good relationships are all about. Being beside each other rather than having one in front of the other. On the other hand, I hate to think that maybe your mom is keeping a secret. Why else wouldn't she answer when being asked politely by your dad? Sounds kinda weird to me. Unless you're not telling us mylotters the whole story. And as for your sister, it is understandable for her to get the keys and go somewhere. That's her outlet for expressing her anger. It is better for her to do that rather than stay and do something she might regret. I wish you the best of luck with your family and hope you all get through it.

Why in the hell would your mom (a grown woman) need permission from your dad to go anywhere?? I wouldn't have answered him either! (way to go mom!) I don't care if I just went to the store around the corner.. it's no one's business.

Sorry I juast try to give a commwnt, maybe not a good solution. I think your father is a person who can solved this promblem. As a leader in your home. He should manage the member of family like a director manage her/his company. I don't know what kind of your father. I think your mother and your sister -- sorry -- had a bad temperament. It's can be hard in your life. Fighting not a good solution. You must talk heart to heart with yor father and your mother. You can waiting for a right moment. Regards...

I can see this from your mom's point of view and your's. Your mom should be able to leave her home without having to get permission. Last time I checked, she's an adult with kids of her own. I tell my husband sometimes, "Last time I checked, he wasn't my dad." I mean you have to get permission from your parents to do things, not your husband, your equal partner. Now if your dad keeps pushing this permission crap at your mom, I don't blame her for running off and not telling anyone. I would do the same. Now for your point of view, it wasn't nice of her to let someone know where she went. I mean what if something happened to her, your family wouldn't have a clue where she was at. When I leave the house by myself, I will take my cell phone and leave a note saying where I went. That is adult thing to do when you leave anywhere, especially in this day in age. So best thing to do is stop saying she has to ask for permission before she leaves the house. Explain to her nicely, that it wasn't nice to scare the family by not telling where she went to. That the yelling, is because everyone was scared that something could have happened to her. Also, if your married or not, do you want your wife to feel trapped in her own home that she has to ask permission before she leaves it. She's your equal partner, not your child.

Sorry I agree with AprilSue, an adult does not need to ask permission to go anywhere, man or woman. I don't agree that her going to her high renuin byher self was a nice thing to do and if I had been the husband I would of took it as an insult that she didn't want me for somereason with her. There are lots of places a person can go to get time alone. But here in the usa that is not one of them. I believe there is more going on with your mother that she doesn't want people to know about. Just my opinion, seems she might be hiding something, maybe something that she feels is a treat to her, or maybe she is tired of asking permission every time she does something. It is not a man's place at least here in the usa to give permission for me to go any where. I may say I'm going here of there and if he thinks I shouldn't then let him tell me why, but he is not going to stop me from going. Maybe in your country it is that way but I think women all over the world are tired of being treated like a kid when it comes to leaving the house.

saiKO92, I would agree with the majority here that your mother does not need a "Permission" to go out and be back late from an outing period. However, she should be RESPONSIBLE and SENSIBLE enough to inform her family members of her whereabouts and especially so when she is going to be back at a very late hour. This is so that no one who loves and cares for her will be WORRIED SICK unnecessarily. I am sure your parents will be over their heads when one of you do not even inform them when you are going to stay over at a friend's place or be back on an unearthly hour. Also, pardon me for saying this as I saw from your post that your mother had the insensibility to leave her cell phone unanswered and to the extent of turning it off. I can understand your dad's paranoid along with whoever that had tried reaching her. She is just purely irresponsible and childish here, when all of your family members might be concern if she had fallen into harm's way. I cannot speak for your dad but it seems like your mother's irresponsibility is the main problem here. I mean what can be so wrong or troublesome to keep the family informed of her whereabouts and answer her family's call on her cell phone. I feel that you can voice out your concern here as a caring and loving member of this family. Retrospectively speaking, I cannot help to think that there might be reason(s) and/or problem(s) for your to be reacting this way and I would seek that all of you try and reflect if at anytime anyone of you might have behaved the way she had. For as the saying goes: There would not be any fire if there was no sparks. So, there are things you can do even if you are a child of the family and I just hope that the above $0.02 worth of mine would help set some path of thoughts. Take care and compliments of the season.

The father of a family is not a boss of that family. That is your first error. A marriage is a partnership, equal partners. If your father treated your mother like an equal partner then maybe she would not have to sneak out the house to go out she would be able to talk to her husband and tell him that she is going out. She obviously didn't because your father sounds like the sort of dictator who would have said no. Men who think they have the right to control other people's lives are like that. A family is not a business and a wife is not an employee of her husband nor is she a servant. One is not the boss of the other but equal partners. Even in business employees are autonomous. In case you do not know that means that they do their job without asking their boss permission to do their job. They also do not ask their boss permission to leave the office or to go home at closing time. They work under a set of rules that they have agree to when they signed the contract. Marriages are not like that and if you think they are then you are going to have problems when you get married. Unless you find a wife who is willing to be your servant and not an equal partner in the marriage then you are going to find that women have a mind of their own. They are human beings and men are not superior just because they are men. You might be stronger than women but that does not give you the right to coerce them just because you can.

i suggest you stay out of it.. it isnt any of yer business. yer mother also didnt need "permission" from yer father to go somewhere she wanted to go.. altho telling him so he wouldnt worry about her wouldve been simple common courtesy.

My husband recently just got in the car and went out without saying a word. I was annoyed, not because either of us have to ask permission to do anything, but because it is common courtesy to tell people where you are going. He did it because he was angry with me about something else, and wanted to upset me. Your situation sounds similar, in that there is something deeper to this story. Otherwise, why is your mother avoiding just simply saying where she was going or where she had been? I think you probably need to just be supportive, but keep out of it and let them sort out their own problems.

Stay out of it. Your parents must solve this. I want to know WHY your father feels that your mom needs to ASK PERMISSION? Who is he that she must get permission? That bugs me. Next, why did your mom feel she could not tell anyone? Is your father a tyrant? Your parents are adults and you cannot get involved but that really bugs me. I never ask my husband permission nor does he expect me to, and vice versa.

How do you know your mother went to her school reunion if she won't tell anyone where so went?

I am glad I don't live in your country. In my country husband and wife are seen as equals. I can come and go as I please. If my husband ask I will tell him and vice verses. But I don't have to ask permission. Nor will I start if he tried to make me. I am an adult and can very well make sound judgements on where to go on my own. I also married a huband, not someone to be my father and tell me what to do. If I wanted to do that I would of never of left home and had children of my own. As for you should do, simple..stay out of it. It is none of your business. It is between your father and your mother, not you.

Well from reading this I'm taking it that you are from another country. As here in the United States we don't need permission to go anywhere. That being said, I personally would tell my husband where I was going out of respect and because for me it is just something that feels right. AS for your sister taking off maybe she was just tired of hearing it. Another thing is if this is how women are treated maybe they are just tired of being treated as a child? I know I wouldn't like it. As a child in the family there is really nothing you can do but to let them figure it out themselves.

Well, frankly speaking, maybe your mother should, at least have informed about her going somewhere, instead of taking permission. However, now I think you all should gather and sit down, maybe for dinner, with cool head and discuss the issue and resolve it, instead of fighting and running away.

I read your discussion and the comments. First off, I don't see a family as sort of an 'organization'. You are a family that should love and respect each other. Your Mother should have told your father and you children that she was going to her school reunion. Here, my husband or I would have been 'going' with the other one, not by ourselves. Why didn't she ask him to go is my question? Does she have something to hide? This should be between your mother and your father, not the kids trying to protect one of them. I hate to see parents fighting in front of their kids. It does make the younger kids want to take up for the one that seems to be the villain. Your mother is an adult and able to do what she wants to do without permission like a child needs. But she have been considerate and told you all so nobody would have been worried about her. And, if she would have answered her phone, then you wouldn't have had to worry if something was wrong.

This evasion of questions by your mom seems to suggest that she is hiding something. Perhaps she is not but it brings up the question of honesty and forthrightness in any relationship. I had a similar problem with a girlfriend and I found myself becoming rather distrustful of her. Again, I am not saying that she is hiding anything but imagine how your father feels. My suggestion is that your let your mother know that her evasiveness is creating a sense of doubt and it does not encourage trust in her. Perhaps you can let her see how it would look if your father had done the same thing and then refused to answer questions by evading them. Maybe then she will see the importance of being candid. This type of behaviour is bad for any relationship.

Well,I'm sorry to hear that ,it's really a hard famiy problem,and it's not easy to resolve.As a child ,it's hard to tell your parents that they are wrong as something.And what's more,this thing came out not for an accident,your family have already got a serial of problems for a long time.So I have no idea that how you can handle this problem and I can only say best wishes and good luck.