mother in law being a pain

Hey that was damn! I mean, she's so annoying and disappointing! At your stage, you should be with your husband as much as possible. Didn't she knew that?! My goodness.. She's also a mother and she must atleast consider your situation coz she was once pregnant and have been on the situation that you're in.. Talk to her, or let your husband do the honors..

I think that you should talk to your husband and tell him how scared you are that he will be out of town when you go into labor and that you will have to call someone else to come take you to the hospital to deliver you child. Tell him how you want him to be there when you give birth and that you've been really scared that he won't be. I wouldn't bring your mother in law into this at all, don't make it sound as if you are accusing his mother of anything either. I know you love your mother in law, and I think that she wouldn't intentionally take him away when you need him the most.

LOL! I do not mean to laugh but the situation... boy I can understand. I don't think it is fair nor right for anybody to expect to take your husband's attention or time away from you right now, especially being on bedrest. I see that you got induced today so perhaps this is a moot point but even I know better than to ask someone who is supposed to be with a mom who might go into labor at any time to leave and do anything for me. I rather think that your husband should have explained to his mother that his place was with you and she would need to ask someone else to help him - or do whatever it was herself. She's a grown woman, she is not helpless, right? She is also not pregnant and on bedrest and about to go into labor at any moment. I remember when I was 39 weeks pregnant - my daughter was born at 39 weeks and I was not ready, hadn't packed anything - because I figured I had another week to go, maybe even two lol. I sent my husband to work, took my older kids to school, bopped around to the store, then went to my 39 week appt and told them I thought I was in labor - which I WAS. My poor husband had to turn around and drive about 60 miles home just a couple hours after he got to work. He got to the hosp just a couple hours before she was born.

My in laws live around the corner, and we don't have any other family or friends. So when I was due for my youngest 2 kids, we told the in laws to stay by the phone in case I went into labor, so they could come watch my older children. So we would call them in the middle of the day for something totally unrelated, and they didn't pick up the phone, and they wouldn't get back to us for hours. One day we stopped over there for something and they weren't even home, we drove to the closest store and a few other places nearby we thought they'd be, but they weren't there. We still have no idea where they were, but they were gone half the day. So the day when I finally went into labor with my youngest, again we couldn't reach them. They were in bed and didn't have the phone with them. I was a week over due and we had told them everytime we spoke to them that they needed to keep the phone with them at all times. We ended up having a neighbor watch the kids while hubby brought me to the hospital, and we were so upset with the in laws we didn't speak to them for a few months. I think my son was around 3 months old when they finally met him for the first time, that's how upset I was over the whole thing.

That is not very caring and responsible of her,especially if it's her first grandchild. He needs to expain to her that he has to sepnd more time with his wife and he'll gladly assist her after you have given birth. Also,why does she need assistance?

Tell your Husband to stand up to his Mother and tell her the things she is requesting can wait. He really needs to be cruel "but kind" as you really need him at this time and she really should understand this and not have him going so far from you and leaving you alone. Some people only think about themselves and their needs sometimes and I really hope your Husband tells her, as maybe shes unaware what shes doing and it might make her think.

well, i'm so sorry to hear that you have such an inconsiderate mother in law... i will definitely ask my hubby to say something to his mum if i were in your position... there is no way i will tolerate it especially when i am 39 weeks pregnant and can due anytime... i don't want to be left alone at all by myself at home... it is just too dangerous... you really have to ask your hubby to say something to his mum... good luck with the delivery of the baby... take care and have a nice day...

I can understand. Your loving or respecting has nothing to do with her inherent nature which compels her to think of her needs first and foremost and get it done on top priority basis. I think your hubby will have to step in on this issue. At your condition, its not advisable to stay alone or tax yourself mentally by trying to reason with her or fret over your absent husband. He should ideally take it up with his mom and ensure that he gets to spend as much time with you as he can.

i could be wrong "but" i think if you let her get away with it now she'll be over telling you how to raise your children,tell hubby to nicely tell mom bye now. i saw both my kids born,and i doubt pop's would want to miss it.congrats!!

My inlaws .. well more my mother in law drives me nuts.. i have complained about her in a lot of discussions.. my own.. other peoples.. lol. all i have to say is.. after you give birth it will be worse.. then she'll prob be telling you how to change your baby's diaper, and how to feed the baby, and how to bath him/her. oh my and how to do this and what she did. i stopped talking to my mother in law for a while. anytime she called if hubby wasn't around to take the phone i never even answered.

Most mother in laws are pain in a marriage. And mostly if the mother in law and the wife has a conflict it will cause things for the family. That happened to my family. My mother in law always interrupt and always disturbing our marriage. She's even influencing decision matter in our marriage. So, we end up having a big trouble with my husband since my husband is too weak and she always listen to her mother even if shes wrong. Anyway everything is done for my marriage life. Well, in your case, I can advice that you discuss it with your husband. Since communication is very important in a marriage. Let him hear your point especially that you are almost due with your pregnancy. And let your husband talk to her mother. Good luck with your pregnancy and congratulations in advance!

hello stardustw83, Sounds like your mother in law doesn't really care about your situation especially that any time from now you'll give birth. And even your husband can't reason or do something about it. He should not follow his mom knowing about your situation, going to some place that will take him hours before he can get back is really unbelievable. Just okey though if it's not your due yet but....They should think the best for you and your baby and not giving you any extra pain or problem. Carrying your baby for nine months is really hard. She should know that for she have undergone a long time ago.

That is pretty inconsiderate of her no doubt. But I think that your husband needs to be the one to tell her now that he needs to be close to home or at home to help you out since you are somewhat unable to help yourself. She would probally take it better from him than you.

I am not saying your husband is at fault because she is obviously yhe one who is wrong here. But if you are having your first child you are probably still laying the foundation for your relationship, letting her win on this one would be bad. She will only act like that if he lets her get away with it. Telling her anything might not help you at all. But telling your husband (without being confrantational) that it bothers you for him to leave you for so long when you are unable to do things for yourself would be a really good idea. All he really has to say to his mother is that he won't leave you like that. She may not be happy about it, but at the moment that isn't as important as your health. And if she is upset you two can always find another way to make it right with her without putting you at risk.

Have you talked to your husband about this? It seems to me that they are putting a lot of unnecessary stress on you. It all seems pretty selfish to me.

Hi stardustw In my country,it is very common to find such mother in laws. But I am surprised to know such mother in laws in U.S.too ? You must convince your husband first about the need of his presence ,to take you immediately to hospital,whenever required.As no one can predict,when the labor will start,you should ask your husband not to go far off places. After your husband is convinced,I think he should find no difficulties to convince his mother.So let him convince his mother. Best wishes.

Have you talked to your husband about this? It seems to me that he needs to speak up to her and tell her that until you have the baby, he has to stay close to home. I can't blame you for feeling as you do. Your mother in law does sound to be a bit self-centered. I mean this is her grandchild, after all. I have ADD and I can't imagine asking anyone in your situation to leave to go anywhere for me right now and certainly not out of town. Babies are so unpredictable and especially if you are having troubles. I hope your husband will speak up for everyone's sake. Anyway...congratulations on your new little addition.

Your husband needs to just say no. What is wrong with him? She can ask for anything she wants, he is the one that is supposed to be there for you. He can be honest about it and just say he doesn't want to be far away from you since you might go into labor.

I feel for you, it is scary to be alone when time is near. I remember my first child, i was alone and had to make my way to hospital alone. Hubby was working in another town and only came the next day. But dont worry, nature has a way of alerting you and even if your husband is not there i am sure there will be time to call him and for him to rush to your side and be with you. Relax and enjoy your last days of pregnancy....

Relax, Maybe She did not mean to do it, maybe she had something urgent. I hope you indirectly mention that to her. Meanwhile, bad mood is harmful to you and your baby. Just relax and have a good feeling, everything will be fine. Good luck and have a cute baby.