the tale of a rude blind man.
@soundfreak22nd (475)
Malaysia
January 24, 2009 4:19pm CST
i came through this rude blind man last week and it started like this.
i was in a train back from work and i'm sure you guys know how trains are like during the rush hours. it was like in a tin of sardines and just when the doors starts opening everyone rushed to get out as well as the helpless blind man in front of me walking with his stick. so as i get out feeling sympathy for the man, i held his hand to help him walk up the stairs. guess what happened? he actually cursed me and said 'i can do it own my own!' and pushed me back. he caused me to fall back 2 steps backwards. everyone was staring at me. i was totally confused and not sure how to feel at that time. embarassed? mad? regret? i'm sure the people around me felt the same way i did feel. i told my friends about this and they had a hard laugh about this. what about you guys? what happen if this occur to you?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@unusualsuspect (2602)
• United States
24 Jan 09
Yes, he was rude, but he probably has had many bad experiences with people trying to help, or more likely with people interfering with him. Taking his hand wasn't a good idea, in the first place, especially if you didn't say something first. Imagine how you'd feel if somebody just grabbed your hand. Taking any stranger's hand without permission would be rude on your part. If you want to help someone who's blind, ask them if they'd like to take your arm, and if they say yes, make sure you're close enough for them to reach out easily and take it. A blind person needs to know where they're going, and by holding on to your arm, they can feel whether you are going up or down steps, slowing down for obstacles, etc. If you're holding their hand or their arm, they have no way to tell what's coming up. And don't assume that the person needs any help, even in a crowded situation. Wait and see if they are having trouble, then offer to help.
My husband was blind, so I'm not just talking through my hat. I'm sorry you had a bad experience, and I hope it won't make you decide never to try helping again.
2 people like this
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
25 Jan 09
owh my! i should ask them next time then.
thanks unusual suspect.
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
25 Jan 09
The man just wants people to treat him as a normal human being. That is the problem many people don't think of them as normal people and that they are not disabled they just have a diffefent way of doing things than we do because they have to rely on all of their other senses.
Although he was very rude to you about the help, he has probably been having to deal with this matter all of his life and learned to adjust and how to do it.
He was ruude, maybe he's not like that all of the time. You just caught him on a bad day.
May I suggested that from this forth on you ask if they need assisstence before just going up and helping. As many are dealing with various new conditions in their life that they haven't ever had to deal with, blindess, no hearing, being in a wheelchair, etc.
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
25 Jan 09
yes, he was totally wrong, you were just trying to help. The problem is that others have gotten his dander stirred about this and he unfortunately unleashed his wrath on you. That was not right. I'm sure he thought about it later and wishes that he knew where to are or who you are so that he could apologize to you himself. These things do happen, but it doesn't make it right.
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
25 Jan 09
ahuh.yes i hope you're right. thanx for stopping by again moondancer and do have a nice day!
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
25 Jan 09
yeah. i think you're right too. but i'd appreciate it if he tells me properly and not screaming at me.
@lovesummer (1162)
• Malaysia
25 Jan 09
i always help people and they would be glad that i do so, it seems to me that this man is mad about what is has had happened to him that he can not see that cvause problem in his life, probably he has not get over it. otherwise he must had had a bad day, it is not your fault to embarrass him or what, i think this is his own problem,, so cheers :)
1 person likes this
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
25 Jan 09
yeah. true. maybe he had a bad day. well, i had mine too that day.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
24 Jan 09
i sure don't think it's a laughing matter. how rude he was. he may see the day he would be glad for someone as kind as you.
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
25 Jan 09
i agree with you on that antiquelady!
1 person likes this
@psspurgeon1 (1109)
• United States
24 Jan 09
I am not trying to sound offensive nor do I agree with him, but I do understand where he was coming from. Imagine how it feels to age. For your body to not be able to keep up with your brain or vice versa. It is very frustrating to not be able to do the things you once were able to accomplish with ease. Now imagine, growing old and adding a disability such as blindness. It takes away from your sence of accomplishment even more. Now, on top of the process of aging, there is the inability to see. How lonely and angry he must feel. Not at you necessarily, but at his body for betraying him like that. How easy is it for us to give up our pride? It is like admitting defeat and he probably isn't ready to do that yet. I'm sure it is nothing against you but general anger/frustration/sadness with himself. He probably is fighting to retain what little independance he has left, knowing it is disappearing quickly. So try to understand. While it makes us feel good to help them when it appears that they are struggling, it feels twice as bad to them for needing the help. So I hope you can look past him and not take offense to him, but feel respect towards him for being able to retain so much dignity and independance despite of his obvious disabilities.
1 person likes this
@unusualsuspect (2602)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Good grief! You're making a lot of assumptions. First, nothing was said about his age. Some people are born blind, and some become blind at an early age due to an accident or disease. Second, bline people aren't all bitter and angry about not being able to see. And many blind people are extremely independent and have very little help with managing their lives. I'm afraid your pity comes off as ignorance.
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
25 Jan 09
maybe i should think how he thinks ya? i should understand them more. thanks for sharing your view on this psspurgeon1.
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
25 Jan 09
I suppose he has spent ages to get the confidence to go on the train or could manage quite well with out anybodies help.He just wants to be the same as everyone else,having worked at a care home with people with the most terrible things wrong with them went mad if you offered to help them,they see it as you feel sorry for them and the last thing they want is that.He should have said no thank you,when you took his hand he probably thought you were trying to mug him ,my advise is if you are thinking about helping someone ask them first.I learn't alot about the independence and pride factor when I worked at that place.They don't see as being kind they can manage they see themselves as ordinary how would you feel if someone suddenly got hold of you and held your hand without a second thought especially if you could not see.
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
26 Jan 09
thanx suzzy3! and i'm sure you're a kind person too yourself. :)
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
26 Jan 09
okay. i'm sure to ask them after this incident. thanx suzzy3!
1 person likes this
@rameshkumaar57 (5908)
• India
25 Jan 09
Hope it never happens to me, otherwise I might abuse a handicapped person.
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
25 Jan 09
haha. that's bad rameshkumaar57.
anyways, thanks and happy mylotting.
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
25 Jan 09
I had a friend in high school that had cerebral palsy and she would fall down a lot.. and every time she would fall down.. I would help her back up.. not even thinking anything about it... it was like a reflex to just help her.
She would get so ticked off at me for helping her and told me to STOP (in not so many nice words) so I did just that.. I stopped!
We were at a ballgame and she fell down in front of me so I just stepped over her and kept walking.. thinking that would make her happy.. NOPE! she demanded to know why I didn't help....
Some people aren't happy no matter what ya do!
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
25 Jan 09
well, some people we just don't understand what actually they want from us.
@kezabelle (2974)
•
25 Jan 09
Oh come on helpless???? in what way is he helpless if he has been blind all his life i doubt he felt helpless in anyway at all and you know if someone just tried to take my hand id probably shout at them too you could have been leading im anywhere you know see it from his point of view in that he probably really didnt need your help he probably knew exactly where he was and what he was doing being blind does NOT make him helpless.
Why feel sympathy for him i wouldnt imagine he wants or infact needs anyones sympathy at all im partially sighted and stairs are my main bug bear in life especially walking down them but id be VERY offended if some stranger just took my hand to help me because i can manage alone as im sure that man could it might take a little longer but we can manage just fine.
I really dislike how people assume blind or deaf people are helpless its ignorant people who make them look helpless when infact they are just as capable as anyone else!
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
25 Jan 09
i looked up in the dictionary and helpless = lacking protection or support.
well he was losing his balance on the stairs, people were pushing him and i only wanted to help him though. if i didn't grab his hand he would fall. what i meant helpless was that one time only, the situation on the stairs i mean. i probably missed out some points up there.
but if it would be you seeing a blind man being pushed, don't you have the urge to help him? at that point, how was i SUPPOSE to know that he did not need any help even if he tumble down the stairs? and if it was me, a non-handicapped person, i'd APPRECIATE IT alot if someone grab me by the arm that time. i was just confused being shouted by a guy who i only wanted to help. that's all. i'd be glad if he just say nicely to me and say 'i'm fine, i can do it own my own'. not push me back and shouts at me back. and if you say that they are just as capable as anyone else, then he's capable to learn and have good manners like everyone else. right?
anyways, thanks for responding and sharing your view onto it and i wished you were there that time and you'll know what i mean and how i felt like. well up to this point i don't have the regret in helping people still. it's still interesting though to know the many types of people in the world.
regards.
1 person likes this
@mimico (3617)
• Philippines
25 Jan 09
Well you didn't do anything wrong for sure. You did the right thing by trying to help him. Of course you don't want him to be trampled on! Anyway, he's probably cynical because of his condition. So it's not also 100% his fault. Oh well. Just forget about it. I hope this doesn't discourage you from helping others in the future.
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
25 Jan 09
maybe you're right mimico! thanx for responding and i appreciate it a lot! happy mylotting!
@x0xpinkyx0x (673)
• Brazil
24 Jan 09
That's just rude!! That's a mean old man!! I think some people feel that if you're trying to help them, you feel pity, and they don't want your pity, they want to prove that they can do it on their own. But they don't have to be rude! If I was in your situation I would cuss back at him, and call him all kinds of names, lol, I don't know if I would how him names, but I would cuss at him.
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
25 Jan 09
yeah. i don't mind if he tells me in a good manner though.
