Should my cousin refuse or not?

I have to post again. Money is never an issue in regards to school that is what student loans are for. She should do what ever student does and take out a loan to go to school and get her education. She doesn't start paying back the loan till she's done school and after she's done she'll be able to find a suitable job for herself. You take out a big enough loan to support you for food etc. But I don't buy the entire 'Well I didn't have the money so I couldn't continue my education. " that's a cop out in my eyes. Many students take out loans its not an unheard of thing. If she really wants to advance in this world and in this economy she'll do it on her own. If she wants the easy way out she'll quit her job and have the sugar daddy pay for everything. However what happens when they break up she's left with paying for whatever schooling she has to pay for. You can't see the future and neither can I but I'd rather have my behind covered then have no safety net below to catch me if I fall.

If I were your cousin, I'll grab this opportunity. You already said that her work already affected her health a lot. Working that much is useless if you'll end up getting sick. Her boyfriend already offered her a good life. In addition, being able to finish her studies will greatly help for her to have a beautiful life even if someday her boyfriend leaves her.

if he is willing to do it then she should go back to school, she is very lucky to have someone like that in her life.

I am not one who knows how to give sage advice but this I do know, when one is dependent of another, it can create a lot more problems than it can solve. If the boyfriend decides to find another girlfriend your cousin will be left high and dry. Still, she can go back to school with the help of the boyfriend and become independent later on. Cheers!!

I think she should be independent. She has a good job. If the man has total say what does she have? She is at his beck and call. For a while this could be fun-even exciting. But, after that what? She gets bored and he is ademate that she not get another job, she gets indignant and he throws her out or worse. What then? I think she should stay with her job and be independent and her own person, not totally dependant on him. No,No,No! No matter how sweet he is now.

She should refuse for one reason manily. Every women should be able to support themselves. Once we put all our eggs into one basket that basket often falls and once it does the eggs have no where to go but down with the ship so to speak. If she has no back up plans and essentially gives away the good job she has now then she's setting herself up for possible disaster. I think that if he loves her and cares for her he would never make her have to make this decision. First and most important thing is that she supports her self and continues to do so till the day she is married. Nothing is for certain not even marriage. But at least after your married and something arises you can get the money back that you lost .. this situation spells problems for me. I think she should refuse and should persue her own career which could end up with her making more money than she is. If she doesn't then lord knows what kind of catching up she'll have to do after her and he are over with.

I think your cousin should give a sweet NO to the offer by her boy friend. The guy has shown his care for her by everything he has done for her so far. He is also very worried for her and doesn't want her to work very hard for small amount of money (as per his standards). I think she needs to work to keep herself on her own feet and not just be dependent on her partner. There are other benefits also, by working, she can keep herself busy as against doing nothing. It also comes to self esteem, if the guy is doing so much for him, she should value it and not be a burden on him. But if she is having health problems and/or she left her studies in middle, I think she can accept his offer. After all, health is above everything else, and studies need to be completed (very necessary)!

I think you just gave her the best suggestion. Not alot of people have the chance to have monney and study. She should put the pride aside and accept the offer. He does this because he wants her to have a better lifestyle than working in a clothe store. I don`t see why she doesn`t want to accept. Instead of wasting huge amounts of monney on expensive cars or other stupidity, he is helping someone for a good cause. I just think it would be a waste to not accept while so many poor people want to go to school and don`t have the help needed. Your cousin has a chance and she should accept it.

I think your advice is sound enough for her to follow.

If your cousin's boyfriend really love her and care her to marry or for what? that is not clear here..but when I read about him I do understand there will mutual understanding. But have to know the deal correctly before making decisions, that is my kind request. Some time richer may have two way decisions. You have to be very careful before making decision. I'll say think twice inquire twice about the boy and his family then make decision please.

well i don't think its a good idea for her to quit her job just because her boyfriend is offering to support her because its always better to be independent and not pressurize the guy ...if the job is really affecting her health then she could give it a thought but otherwise if i were her i would refuse politely, careful enough not to hurt him but make him understand .....

Hey gal, once when she starts accepting his money, then she may need to accept what ever he demands later. This is what my instinct tells. May be he is good and trust worthy, but human nature keeps changing. After few years he may think your cousin as a burden. All of a sudden if he keeps helping your cousin, is she ready to face it? Is her family capable of managing such situations? If so, then she can go ahead leaving her job and accept his money and proceed. If NOT, then THINK twice.

I dont understand the whole thing but if she is living with him why should she needs to work? if they are'nt living together why he's supporting her, don't know, if i were hers i'll stay on my job, because i can't be sure the relationship, you know relationship could be broken, u think she should stay the job...

If he's rich then she should go for it. But only if he's good looking and has a nice personality cause if he's one of those stuck up snobs then def. dump him. And make sure he's going to take care of her and that he loves her no matter what.

well that's up to her, isn't it. if she likes to work, then she should keep her job, regardless. if she is happy to have someone partially financially responsible for her, she could take a job with less hours. but it's an old fashioned view to see that a man should support a woman financially regardless.

I guess your cousin shouldn't quit her job.. if her boyfriend really wants to help her out then do it without any condition..

There is a thin line between someone helping and supporting a loved one and someone owning a loved one .. I am very sceptical of his reasoning .. they are not married she has not got his kids .. why does he want to control her and own her ? sounds as if he wants to take away her independence and have her rely on him totally for everything.. even in marriage you need a little independence .. I would tell her no do not give up everything and have him own her ..

I think if her boyfriend really wants to help her out he should without her having to quit her job. If she wants to get back in school then she could get fewer hours at work until shes done with school and can find a better job. Its so hard to find places to work now a days so I wouldnt just up and quit if I was her. Who knows what could happen they could end up breaking up and then what would she do?

I have to say I'm alittle confused. First, if he loves her, why doesn't he just marry her? Second, I don't see anything wrong with her working. I don't think her "health" is an issue either. I worked a job since I was 14 years old and still graduated from high school. I worked full time and paid my own way through college. I guess I don't understand why she can't work AND go to school? That just doesn't make sense to me. Your cousin is very lucky to have a boyfriend that wants to take care of her, but in all reality, why doesn't he take care of her as a wife instead. If they love each other and have already been together for 3 years. Why no just get married and then they can build their life together?

I don't know... If she were going to leave the job and just be a housewife or let him take care of her, then I think that she should refuse. But since is planning to go back and complete her education if she leaves her job, I'm a little more ambivalent. The education can be really helpful for promotions and stuff. On the other hand, I don't think it's good to be wholly dependent on another person economically because it can screw up the dynamics of the relationship. It could also put her in a vulnerable position should he decide to leave her. Maybe she could compromise? Since her boyfriend has offered to help her out financially, maybe she could work fewer hours for the time being and go back to school part-time.