When She Makes More Money Than He

Hello okwusman1, For me, it is not an issue who is bringing more money. One time, my husband wasn't working and I had to bear all the household expenses. It doesn't mean if I bring in more money, I need to be the head of the family. He is my husband and I respect him for that. He is still the head of the family though I am the one who bring in the money. Right now, of course he is earning more than me and we still practice the same thing - we put our earnings together, minus all the expenses and the rest he will keep for future use or savings.

For years and years I made more money then my husband did and in fact I made the only income for 15 years. When I made the only income I considered myself the head of the house hold. Do not get me wrong he was working, he was framing but not making any money and then he quite framing he sold real estate and that was a bust also. Now he makes more money then I do and he is the head of the house hold Does it really matter who is the boss or who is the head of the house hold. When you get married you enter into a partnership and therefore you are part of a hole. My husband makes the money I pay the bills and tell him if we have money to buy what he wants or not. I have been in charge of the bills and money since we got married. We have been married for 31 years now. I think it does not matter who is the boss or head of the house. If you do not like her making more money then you then have her put the equal amount of money into your budget as you do then put the extra in to a savings account for a vacation so something special. But what ever happens to the extra money you both need to agree on it together.

You are one lucky guy if you ask me, okwusman! This is your WIFE for God's sake. You have entered into a committment for life together so what is hers is yours and vice versa! If she earns more than you, then you BOTH benefit. I don't see what the issue is to be honest? And since when does money define a head of the family? And why does there even need to BE one in the first place??? Marriage is a partnership, not a struggle for superiority by one person over another! This extra income has become a burden for one reason and one reason only..... You are both CREATING a burden from it! Count your blessings, feel pride at your Wife's success and together embrace the benefits this extra income will bring. Try not to let ego on either side even enter the equation as there's no place for it in my opinion.

Head of the family? Wouldn't that be a shared thing? We do not live in the days when men ruled and women obeyed. If you are both earning, and it is not by how much you earn but by how hard you equally put time into work and the marriage that counts, then you both share in all decisions. I often wonder why men have these thoughts. Thank God my Dad was never like that. Both my parents worked hard and both shared in all decisions. It was a give and take and including the other in all discussions, not putting them down for different views on things (remember, we all come from different backgrounds that give us different views on many things), always respecting the other's opinion and a willingness to compromise (remember, winning is NOT an option, it is never about winning), then things will be fine.

In this day and age it should not matter who earns the most money. It should not make you feel less of a man. One day you will in all likelihood earn more than your wife. To me, no one is head of the household - it should be both of you in partnership together. why don't yo put both paychecks in one account and then pay bills etc, and put aside savings and then you both have some spending money. don't let it become an issue between you both. Blessings

Hi okwusman and wife! I just wanted to help you with this because I have always made more money. It is quite a hit to the male ego but there's something you have to remember..there is no head of the house..no matter the money..neither one of you is more important than the other. In my opinion when you marry..you are one..your home,your money all that is is one. You are two people working toward a common goal and no matter who does what it is for both of you. Stop seperating yourselves and be one. Relax and enjoy the extra income. Be happy you have it. This is not about a man doing his duty,this is about you and your wife living the lifestlye you want.It's ok.Don't let something so small as what society has told you it's supposed to be like ruin a good thing for the two of you.Those rules are old and gone.One income is not enough now.It doesn't matter anymore who makes the most money as long as it is coming in.

I don't know if I'm qualified to answer this one, since I've been divorced 1/2 my life. And being single I don't have to worry with these qualms. I think I prefer the word equality.

even when i made more money than my hubby it was never an issue.. we share everything and have the same bank account.. im sad to hear its become a problem.. but remember its all going into the same life.. a life you share

I've been told by my bf about how some males feel about their gf, wife or hubby earning more than they are. I'm actually happy that he told me it won't hurt him or hurt his "male" ego even though I would earn more than he is earning. I think and believe that it's "MUCH" better for you to accept that fact. I know earning more than your wife is earning is something you want to boast about and is something that can also BOOST your confidence or probably self esteem. You should try to look at that situation in a more positive way. Your wife might be hurting at the moment since she never chose to earn more than you. I think it shouldn't be a problem anyway but it can if you have some pride in you. Accepting that situation is humility and selflessness on your part. Such a husband-wife relationship should never think of this as a problem. You're both a family now.. and this is a give-take relationship. Although you're earning less, I think your wife still looks up on you. Never allow such a small/petty thing ruin or smudge your relationship. Accept it, be happy because you have some extra income and just be happy for her because she is earning not because of "MORE" but just because she earns too.

I think its really OK! its just men need to adjust to the current happenings right now.Its not the usual way before that men are always on top.But things change and theres more equality right now.You should be happy and support her.Being the head of the family doesnt necessarily mean being the highest earner right?