When you talk about yourself are you....

she doesn't really sound like much of a friend. Hopefully she has many good qualities to offset this one.

I have been recently accused of playing the victim, seeking undo attentions and generally being a bully. I have an ex-friend who can't seem to find a different path in life. She has issues and my head knows that but sometimes she picks the nerve just right and I wonder. I was honestly searching myself to see if maybe I was doing these things. I didn't (don't) see it in myself but I thought I would see what other people thought in a general sense. I guess it's like you thought... seeing things from other peoples view. I try to be honest, caring, and generally good but like I said... she sometimes hits the nerve. I know I shouldn't let her make me doubt myself but it's just one of my issues. I work on it... daily LOL

She ended our friendship a year ago. But she follows things I post and places that I go (first myspace, then a site called aidpage, then three or so days after I joined here, she showed up) I'm a horrid, uneducated, liar who won't end other friendships because she doesn't like them but yet still she follows and she'll post either real similar things to what I post (her's come after, you can tell by time stamps), or she'll post things to contradict what ever I said. Like she has a post else where that came after this discussion that says (not asks like mine does) that you are better listener if you talk the "I" out of the conversations. I try to ignore it but sometimes she picks just the right button. I know it makes me lessor of a person to allow her to get to me and I'm trying to over come it but darn it all.... You know what I mean?

Why thank you. RUB! RUB! Is it working? ROFL

Well, you bring up a good point... as a writer aren't we naturally looking for attention to our words. Not necessarily the way it sounds. But to get our point across people have to want to read us, right? And if we are able to use ourselves or our style to do that, then doesn't that just make us good at what we do? As for you personally, I've seen the following you have. If they really thought bad of you then why would they read you? You are great at what you do. I'm hoping it rubs off.

I share openly about most of my stuff but the most personal is saved for those real close. I figure I am what I am, why keep it to myself. But there are others who see it like you do.

Great example! Thank you. I does show we know about things if we can show we've been there. It helps others understand our thinking too.

Makes perfect sense to me. That's how a lot of us think. We can help others by taking the time to listen and share our own thoughts and experiences.

I agree. Well said! And allowing people to know we have been there, done that, and understand allows them to know they aren't alone.

I think most of us feel this way. I also think we that have gone through whatever, can teach others from it. I wish my kids to learn from the mistakes I made. Thank You!

yes again.. hahahaha... soo the problem solved.. thanks TLChimes

Yes. That is very true. This is me, this is what I did and this is what happened- it seems the simplest way to make our points clear and true.

I think this medium makes it easy for us to open up to each other and "listen" better than if we were having a real life conversation.

I think you're right though with out body language and tone, some people misread what is meant and sees what isn't there, or misses what is. I think there is both good and bad to this medium. If people don't understand what was said they should ask for clarity and don't they tend to just get mad.

If they are getting (I had to grin) bloody boring then you can choose not to read, right? I like discussions like you talked about... I like to know and share with my "friends" I think there is alot we can do for one another through sharing. I think it's a balance between listening and sharing. And most adults are able to do that.

I think a lot of us are like that. I'm glad to see that we mostly agree. Thank you so much for adding to this discussion.

I thought it was all about you, you, you.... LOL Seriously, I thought the same as you. I think sharing a learned experience or telling some one that you know where they are coming from because I've been there, is an alright way to do things. Some people honestly think it's all about you when you share like that. They think there is a self serving side to it. *shrugs* I guess it's all in the view.

I use my life a lot because it's what I know. But like you it's because it makes my point or I'm looking to share or get thoughts. What is there to be gained by having on-line people feel sorry for you? It's not like they can fix it or make it better. I am thankful for words of encouragement when I share something but that's not the same as trying to get attention. Is it?

It absolutely isn't getting attention - it's just using your past experiences to illustrate a point. How else would you illustrate your point - you can't use someone else's life can you? Although sometimes when I'm having a bad day, I'd like to...

That's how I've always felt too. And instead of saying something like "You should do this" I say "I've done this" Because I always thought that I shouldn't tell some one how to do something but sharing what worked (or didn't) Thanks!

I feel when offering advice it's always best say... I've done this and had results, why not try it, instead of saying. You do this and it will work.

I never thought it was self-centered. I think we pretty much agree that we know ourselves best and that's why we use ourselves as a discussion point. Maybe the people who object are doing so because they can't do the same and make their point?

That's how I feel too. Though not even or just advice, I use it to illustrate a point that I really don't know how else to explain. Thank you.