is it alright to be noisy in a coffeeshop?
@doc_alma_jones (822)
Philippines
February 16, 2009 12:34am CST
i've been frequenting coffeeshops lately with my friends, and something interesting happened.
a group of people came to order coffee. i have to mention at this point that a lot of people bring their novels or textbooks to the coffee shop. the group of people who just came in really were a noisy bunch - they were laughing loudly, telling stories at the top of their voices - perhaps they were just happy to be out and with friends.
but the other people who wanted to get a quiet moment in the coffee shop were now bothered by the commotion. i can see them trying to read on despite the noise (which went on for the duration of the group's stay), but some of the customers decided to leave, maybe because they couldn't stand the noise.
now, here's the question: is it alright to be noisy in coffee shops? are people being unfair if they want a relatively quiet ambience in a coffee shop like starbucks or figaro? are the expectations the same as that in any other restaurant (i.e., people are expected to keep their voices down)?
what is the coffeeshop etiquette nowadays? is there such a thing? =)
3 people like this
16 responses
@kareng (65549)
• United States
16 Feb 09
Personally, I think this was rude behavior. If they were talking loudly where everyone in the room could hear, and louder than needed for their own party to hear them then this is just plain out rude behavior. Why not sit outdoors if you want to be a little loud?
I know the shops here all have college age students there studying and doing homework. Shoot, I've even taken my laptop to Starbucks to get some freelance work done when internet has been down at home. I think most people think of a coffee shop (especially during odd hours) to be a quiet and relaxing place to just chill or study.
1 person likes this
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
19 Feb 09
really? aw, shucks... must have been nicer a decade ago then.
somehow, people are, um, bolder nowadays. even when they're wrong, they act like they're right. it's nice to say "sorry" once in a while. it actually feels good.
i hope that the next time i go to a coffee shop, i actually get good coffee SANS noise. ;D
1 person likes this
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
yes, perhaps you're right.
i also go to coffee shops to relax. and noisy people totally kill the mood! LOL
1 person likes this
@fluffysue (1482)
• United States
16 Feb 09
There is no coffeeshop etiquette. I've noticed this same thing. My usual complaint is mothers dragging their children in and the children run around and make noise; but often it is groups of people (usually teenagers) as well. I go to Starbucks with my computer to job hunt and such, and sometimes it is so noisy I have to put on headphones to drown it out. Another thing that is annoying are the people who are conducting business from the coffee shop, so they talk on their cell phones the whole time, as though they are in their office. Personally, I like quiet, and I guess I have to expect it to be a little noisier than a restaurant, since it is a place where people meet and gather, but often it gets really annoying.
1 person likes this
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
yes, you're right, it's okay to expect a little noise here and there, but too much noise is unacceptable (except perhaps in a baseball game).
so far, i've had no run-ins with rowdy kids; just rowdy adults :o
@the_dutchess (2610)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
I think it would be best to have a little consideration when you're in such place. Unless, me and my friends were the only ones in the coffee shop, then it's okay to talk out loud but if there were others and especially some are reading, I don't wanna bother them of course 'cause I don't wanna do it to me if I'm in their situation. I've had the same experience a couple of times and it's frustrating and annoying to see people like that like they own the place and never even to have a bit of consideration for others.
1 person likes this
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
yes, that's right, they do act like they own the place! haha what a way to put it... =) and sometimes, you begin to wonder why they're so bold to be so noisy.
sometimes i'm sooo tempted to fake a call on my cellphone and talk very loudly. and if they ask me to keep it down, i'll ask THEM to keep it down. hehe. but it's just wishful thinking. i'll never have the guts to do anything like that. ;b
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
16 Feb 09
Depends on the "normal" clients. If it is a coffee shop that's normally noisy because the teen crowd goes in there as groups then it is ok. If it's a place that is normally quiet and relaxing then a lower tone should be used.
I think the "regulars" need to remember that new people come in and need to learn how things are but only to a point. If you want to read and they are being well beyond polite then you can leave or join in. When they all look at you funny, say "well you were including the whole place so I just thought I'd move my chair closer."
Ok, I'm not sure it would work, but I'd love to see someone do it. lol
I'm the type that can read through anything so I would have either read or stopped and watched. I like to people watch.
1 person likes this
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
hahahahahahaha
hmm, i should ask someone to REALLY try that one! i will videotape the whole thing and post it on youtube! LOL
imagine pulling your chair to a rowdy bunch and laughing along to their surprise. man, that's the fastest way to get your point across (and to probably get coffee on your shirt hehe).
sigh. suddenly i need a coffee fix...
1 person likes this
@nansheeca (215)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
most of the coffe shops have also tables outside and i guess that is one the purposes of those tables, not just for smokers but also if they want to talk in freedom. it is ok to be noisy but always be sensitive if its tolerable to the other customers. if you cant really help it and you're too happy maybe you can just sit outside. its also one way of showing respect to others so you can also get respect from them.
1 person likes this
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
yes, i feel the same way. people should watch how they behave wherever they are, whether they're in the library or in a coffee shop. if one's behavior disrupts the activities of others, then perhaps it's polite to go somewhere else...
unfortunately, not everyone in a coffee shop thinks like you... hehe
@abbymartin2009 (28)
•
16 Feb 09
I think it's fine when people come into the coffee shop, and keep their conversation low enough so that you can actually talk to the person you are with. However, it is very annoying when people talk very loudly, or on their phones. One time me and my friends went to the coffee shop and this woman was talking on her phone and carrying out an argument. I think that's inappropriate and just plain rude.
1 person likes this
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
that's true, some well-modulated conversation is alright to me, too. even a few moments of loud laughter is forgivable. but when a bunch is noisy the entire time, it's just rude.
i hope people who go and have coffee suddenly have this epiphany! it feels like there is no politically correct way to get them to keep it down. even asking politely may be met with hostility... after all, they're already rude to begin with.
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
16 Feb 09
Personally I would think that this type of behavior is not the Best to display in a Coffee shop. I have been known to bring my laptop with me to places such as this to get some internet stuff done, and sometimes I will go in there and Write or submit my Writings somewhere, or from time to time come post here in myLot as well. So out of edicate to others, I think people should be able to talk and converse with others or their friends, but not in such a loud manner to disrupt others.
1 person likes this
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
perhaps you're right. after all, courtesy is defined as the capacity to think of another's comfort before your own. =)
now, i wonder what i should do the next time i'm in a coffee shop and it's me who gets disturbed by the boisterous laughter and noisy conversation... hehe ;b
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
Coffee shops caters to a semi formal ambiance. Most of the people who stays inside the shop wants a quiet surroundings, that is why we could actually see people who are either reading, surfing the net, coffee dating. The scene which you illustrated are truly out of place and inconsiderate behavior. Those people belong to a level where they are etiquette dumb. They do not know how to properly behave with an ambiance like that.
Coffee shops nowadays have extensions like Starbucks, Coffee Bean and Tea leaf, Figaro, etc. If you are in a group of 4 or more and went there to chit chat, then you should stay outside for you not to disturb the quiet ambiance inside.
1 person likes this
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
sigh. i don't know why some people are simply impolite or unmindful of the people around them. but i'm glad to read responses like yours, because so few people (especially in the coffee shops) pay any attention to others around them!
so kudos to you for being courteous. hopefully, more coffee lovers think the same way you do. =)
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
19 Feb 09
that's why i never bring books or magazines or any at all to coffeeshops. i only go there whenever my friends and i would meet. then we settle on the tables and outside to talk because i know most people read inside the coffeeshop.
i've also had my experience one time that i brought a book along with me and chose to read inside while waiting for a friend. by chance, the coffee shop is situated near to a call center office so agents were scattered around in the area. chattering and talking as if they're the only ones in the area.
of course i have no choice but close the book i am reading and place it inside my bag. LOL.
defeated as i was, i took my coffee with me and went outside with my grumpiness pasted in my face. LOL.
of course, situations like this can never be avoided. i just hope that there would be sign posted anyway to be silent (juts like in the library - yuk! yuk! yuk! or a certain spot where it's for readers area.
but that would cost too much for renovation. ahahahaha!
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
20 Feb 09
hehe. i've actually encountered coffee shops with self-evolved, self-assigned "quiet areas."
in these sections, there's no sign that says it's for readers only, but people who want to chat usually avoid those sections of the coffee shop because they are filled with people holding either a book or a laptop, and they're so engrossed with whatever they're doing that the whole section is usually very quiet.
going to that place to chat is sure to invite glares. hehe.
otherwise, most coffee shops don't have special sections like that. it's a mix most of the time...
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
20 Feb 09
I think it is alright to be noisy if they stay at the part of the coffeeshop where they will not bother other people... like outside... most coffeeshops have a certain area for a particular group... the inside is for those who want to relax and listen to soft music... and the outside are for those who want to smoke and have a somewhat noisy conversation with friends or family...
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
20 Feb 09
yes, that's true... i just wish people who can actually afford to learn some etiquette would do so ^_^
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
20 Feb 09
unfortunately, that doesn't happen.
the noisy people still mingle with the quiet bunch and the entire room resonates with their gossip and noise. after a few minutes, everyone knows what happened to "lisa's boyfriend josh, who had an affair with lisa's friend courtney."
it's disappointing that some people who can afford designer coffee have no courtesy. i will understand if an underprivileged person has no such manners - as they've never had the privilege to be served or treated with care and they have to fight for every single necessity, then they may have no idea what courtesy even is.
but privileged people? shouldn't they know all about etiquette and manners? :/
1 person likes this
@zenki08 (700)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
Well basically their are different things that you can do in a coffee shop. You can read. surf the net, or have a chat with your friends. It's basically a place to unwind. But there is always some limitation to everything, people should also be mindful of the people around and if they are somewhat bothering them. I guess you can always tell other people that they being too noisy in a polite was as to not offend them.
1 person likes this
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
i think that's the key: whatever you do and wherever you are (whether it's the coffee shop or the market or the library), you should be mindful of others.
maybe the diplomatic thing to do is indeed to ask politely to keep it down, but i think not everyone will respond with equal politeness... after all, if they were impolitely noisy to begin with, then they might not appreciate the value of a polite request. :/
@worldbestwriter2008 (1633)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
well..it's not right to be noisy...we have our manners and right conduct we should observed etiquette in the proper way..so that's it's not shameful in our part..
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
true, true...
people should learn to watch themselves when in public. although there are no strict rules regarding the level of noise (since we don't see any signs saying "shh" or "silence"), maybe it is just right to look around and see if you're disturbing anyone.
@thezone (9394)
• Ireland
16 Feb 09
When did coffee shops become a library 
I understand that it can be annoying to have a loud group of people in a coffee shop but I don't think there is much that can be done about it. I would never consider a coffee shop a place to relax and have some quiet time to myself.
Coffee can be too much for some people and make them hyper, so in my experience coffee and quiet don't mix very well.
I understand that it can be annoying to have a loud group of people in a coffee shop but I don't think there is much that can be done about it. I would never consider a coffee shop a place to relax and have some quiet time to myself.
Coffee can be too much for some people and make them hyper, so in my experience coffee and quiet don't mix very well.@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
17 Feb 09
what a coincidence, i just said something like that a few minutes ago... i thought it had something to do with all the caffeine! :D
but i think what almost everyone has posted so far is that no matter where someone is, whether someone is in the market or the library or the coffee shop, a person should learn to be sensitive about his/ her surroundings. although there is no rule that there should be library-like silence in a coffee shop, there is still an all-encompassing rule (regardless of one's whereabouts) that we should learn to modulate our voices accordingly... =)
hehe. there should really be a "quiet" and "noisy" section in the coffee shop, the same way they make "smoking" and "no smoking" sections. after all, just like smoke, noise is a form of air pollution! hehe :)
thanks for posting! =)
1 person likes this
@caseycarmen (93)
• China
16 Feb 09
from my opinion i think it's never OK to be noisy and loud in public,no matter you're ina coffieshop or in a bus stop,i can't stand someone talking at the top of their lump for fearing the entire street don't hear him,god ,that's even more annoying than those slow walking people.
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
17 Feb 09
oh, there are those people who walk like they're in a park! you're right, it may be quite a hassle for people in a hurry. if people want to walk slowly in a very busy sidewalk, they should at least not occupy the entire sidewalk.
sometimes when i'm in no hurry, i make sure to stay in one side instead of walking like the sidewalk is mine, mine, mine.
anyway, going back... yes, perhaps people should learn to modulate their voices wherever they are... :)
@dorisday1971 (5657)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
I don't find alright for one to be very noisy in coffeeshops. when I stay in coffeeshops, I usually unwind and spend the day with my laptop (I go to Wi-Fi coffeeshops). There are people who are very noisy in those places andthey are quite irritating and distracting.
@doc_alma_jones (822)
• Philippines
17 Feb 09
in almost all coffee shops, there is this corner where quiet people huddle away from all the noisy ones. that way, there is peace all around. yet sometimes, some lost souls go to the "quiet" section only to make noise! then the eyebrows start rising.
maybe it's the caffeine; it makes people so high they just have to make a lot of noise. :o hmm, which gives me an idea... maybe there SHOULD be a strictly quiet zone! maybe people should be more explicit about it and hang a sign somewhere, the same way you have "no smoking" and "smoking" sections! :)
@eighternity (363)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
It is ok to get laugh and be noisy in a coffee shop but being a human with a good manner, you for yourself will find out that this is not a good etiquette when you are in a public places. You can do that when your in private places as such your home. Just like house party.
