MAKE your kid understand!!!

If you teach kids from day one then you don't have to TEACH them. Does that make sense? My Autistic child doesn't always understand but I still intervene and try to redirect her to an appropriate behavior. It's a parents job to teach and that example above was a great place for your sister in law to do it. Her job not yours if you know what I mean. It's too bad more parents don't just step up and take responsibility.

A lot of parents these days had a child as a status symbol or a play thing. A lot of parents don't really want to "parent" their child. It is a problem and I think almost ever family has at least one in them like this. Sometimes when it happens I speak my mind. In your case a simple "yeah he doesn't understand, that's what you are here for- to teach him to understand" would have worked well I think. Good luck.

I understand that some parents should try a little harder to make their child understand certain things, but then again, 2 years of age is still young & birthday parties are exciting & a child that age might or might not understand. Just because one 2 year old might understand, doesn't mean the other 2 year old will. Another thing is you might want to keep in mind, these guys birthdays are close together & he had his party not long ago & being at another one not long after probably just excited him even more. But really, I have worked with many age groups & some 2 year olds know everything that is going on & others just might be a little behind. Doesn't mean the parent isn't trying to get that child to understand right from wrong... sometimes it takes longer to sink in with some kids then others. So I'm always careful how I look at another parents parenting because you just never know what is really going on... that parent might be doing everything right or they might not. So I wouldn't be to quick in judging, that's all I'm saying.

My son is only 8 months old but as soon as he is able to understand he will be taught proper manners. Most children don't even know how to say please and thank you nowadays. My co-worker's son came in to the office last week and didn't even acknowledge me - he had to be told to say hello and he's over 20! Obviously you have done an excellent job of teaching your daughter manners and your sister-in-law has not.

This type of "lack" of parenting irritates me to no end. I am a little too mouthy and so I do say something to the other parents or even teachers sometimes, just because these kids need to be told what is right and what is wrong if you want them to grow up knowing the difference! If the child was at my child's birthday party I probably would have moved him. If that didn't work I would have taken him completely away from where the activity was. It sounds like him mom was with him so you should have given him to her. That's no way to "let" your child act. Of course he doesn't understand but if that mom doesn't teach him he'll never "understand".

I have two sisters, and growing up we always got the same gifts at holidays because they thought we would fight we also each got one gift for the other's birthday. It was silly on there part because we didn't even like the same things, nor would we have fought. Now that I am an adult I refuse to do that for the children that I buy for. If it is your special day then you get a gift. the only exception to this is when we visit friends or family that we do not see very often. Then we always take a gift for each of the kids (different gifts so they will actually like it). I agree that parents should make there children understand that not everything is theirs. The only way to react is to be kind but stand your ground. if you have invited children into your home then they have to abide by your rules. If their parents know that they need something to open then they should provide it (they are the ones letting their child act up). Do not back down, more parents should stand up to their friends with kids about how they let their children act; because those like myself without children of our own often are just told that we do not understand.

Oh yes this kind of thing really gets on my nerves too! I have a friend who has a daughter the same age as my youngest and one a couple of years older. (4 and 6). My daughter understands the need to respect and look after her toys. Doesn't touch my things etc. She has grown up from a toddler to a child. My friends kids still just pull their toys about with no respect. They are bought things and within a week they are broke or lost. She has to hide the sweets else they steal them. They still draw on walls and touch whatever they fancy. Ok if this is how she wants to let them behave in her own house.. fine. But when they are in my house I expect some respect. But I'm the one that is made to feel bad when I ask them not to climb on the furniture or not to touch my things! My daughter has had dolls for years that are still as nice as the day they were bought... and yes she does play with them. My friends girls come round and have trashed them within minutes! And somehow I'm made to feel like I'm over reacting or being to strict I know it will sound harsh but I now try to avoid having her children at my house. Perhaps that will sound like an over reaction but if she cannot instill some respect and discipline in to her children... why should me and my daughter have to suffer because of it?

Hi friends, You know I have always been the type of mother that if a child is in my home, he will act properly like my children do. I have no problem at all telling another child to stop doing something or chastising them for something they are doing wrong. This seems to have worked for me. In fact, I have a nephew that is so bad for his mother, will not do anything he is told. He does whatever I say and never sasses me back. He even may be a little scared of me. Well if that's what works, then so be it. If the parent is going to take care of the child when they're in my house, then that leaves it up to me. Cheryl

Oh I totally agree with you on this one. Your sister in law was absolutely right...he really doesn't understand. What she seemed to have missed was that that was her cue to take him aside and kindly explain it to him. If he still could not sit there without trying to open her gifts...this would have been her opportunity to remove him from where he was or if necessary take him away from the party until he did get it. As parents it is our job to teach our children how to be good, fair, kind, considerate and honest people so that is what we put out into the world. It starts from the day they are born. He isn't going to understand this simple concept any better when he if he hasn't been led in that direction...it just is not going to magically light up in his thinking. She is not giving her child's intelligence enough credit and you know what they say about that. If you treat a child like they can't understand ...they won't.

Yes, this bothers me too! I have a very hard time respecting parents that donot teach their children the important things in life like patience, right from wrong and honesty. I can not stand for a parent to make excuses for their child when it is the parent's fault in the beginning. Your example is a good one. Um, at 2 years old, my kids all understood that if it isn't theirs, dono touch. They also understood very well that every one will have a turn, especially with birthdays. Now, my kids are not perfect at all, and they do have their moments, but I believe that is why they are still kds and I am still raising them. Anothet thing that really bothers me is when someone comes over to my house with their kid and lets their kid get away with anythig and everything. All the kids that come to my house know that there are rules that have to be followed; no running in the house, no food or dinks out of the kitchen, simple things like that. The parents know that these rules are in place for the kids. It really bothers me when the parents will just let their kid do anything in another person's house rather than teaching th child to rspect other peoples belongings and home. And what about those parents who let their kid play, eat, or whatever and make huge mess then just leave the mess there?

I have been in this situation many time, or situations similar. I most of the time just have to bite my tounge....my child is my repsonsibility...but i dont feel right, nor like it is my responsibility to teach or discipline someone else's child. For me the most frustrating part, is explaining to my son why this child is allowed to do something, or get away with somehting thathe does not. But with that being said...I cannot let him away with things, or stop teaching him so that I am like another parent. SO i guess i will just have to suck it up, and hope one day he understands!

Oh yeah, bothers me to no extent. My children are well behaved and like yours sit back and enjoy celebrating other's birthdays, but when it comes to theirs, they've always got someone else trying to steal their day. I am an outspoken person, so I tell them what I think. Excuses don't work for me either, because they are only blaming the child for their irresponsibility to teach their children right from wrong. My son's 5th birthday we had some issues with this stuff. I had just gotten out of the hospital from having been in the hosptial for 8 days with the birth of my daughter. She was born the day before my son, on the orginal date of his birthday party, so it had to be moved around some. Long story short, lol.. We were all gathering around to watch him blow out his candles and he was about to blow them out, and another child who was 8, blew them out. Tears come to his eyes, told her no, that wasn't tolerated, nor does she need to do it. So we lit them again, and to my horror she blew them out again. Her mother, just laughed, and said now she don't know any better. I come unglued, after just getting home from being in the hospital in pain from the c-section , I said a few choice words, she finally got the hint and pulled her child to the side and explained to her she wasn't to do that. He then finally got to blow out his candles. I thought ok, this will be fine...the little girl understands... Wrong. Come present time, she was tearing in them, so that was the last straw, I stopped everyone in the tracks and told them to back up and move because I was gonna stand there with him to help him. I wanted to tell everyone to go home but I knew that would hurt my son, so I stopped myself. I am always getting grief over how I handle things, and how my parenting style isn't like mosts, and yes, I know I am strict, and I know I can be mean and harsh at times, but my children know right from wrong, and that's where I know I am doing the right thing. They have respect for others. How do you like it when you take your children to a play date and things are going fine, and then your child sees something laying to the side, and picks it up and other child as a fit over it and goes and tells their mom, your child took the toy. That mother tells you, you go and make your child give the toy back. Everything is fine again for a while, until the other child takes a toy from your child and they come and tell you and you tell the other parent... the that parent says. Payback sucks and laughs it off, and doesn't do anything about it.

I know the feeling. You at least handled it with tact, even though it was annoying. I know it's difficult because it's not like you can't not invite him to her party as it's family. I'm not sure if there is a good solution if parents are not willing to admit their child isn't behaving properly. They could have at least intervened and removed him from the temptation. I'm sorry your daughter had that occur though. Namaste-Anora

I totally agree with you! Even if he still keeps try, his parents should be telling him no and why, and if necessary, hold him in their lap so he doesn't get into them. This is YOUR child's party, and those are HER gifts. They need to get things under control because by letting him get into her stuff and not teaching him, they are disrespecting you, your daughter, and your home. I would have been upset too, especially since your daughter behaved at their child's party. If the same thing happened in the reverse, they'd probably be upset too!

I have a neighbour whodse kid was a terror compared to your nephew. Hitting playing with sticks and breaking things were his speciality but Bingo! in moved a new neighbour and she made friends with that lady and very simply told her on her face that control your child now otherwise people will teach him a few lessons very soon. Her point was you stop him or we will stop him in our own way. She is too blunt when comes to saying the truth and that lady realised her mistake and is now very careful with her child an child has mellowed down a bit after that. Infact poor thing is scared of her new neighbour and really makes and effort to control her kid. This lady has taught me to say the unpleasent truth too and get iot out of the way so that real bond can be formed.

i know wut u mean...i know kids that r months older or younger than my 3 yr. old daughter that still act like spoiled babies...while my daughter doesn't.

Hi stacy! As you probably knew already that I have no children of my own nevertheless I have seen such behavior on some children when I attend birthday parties of my nieces and nephews. I usually am the party planner for the my beloved "kids". LOL! And I have seen one or two children who will be opening the presents of the birthday boy/girl. I usually tell the child not to open the presents since it was not hers/his and there were times that the child will run to his/her mom and will tell a different story that I got angry at him/her for just looking at the gifts. Oh my! I approached their moms and explain what happen. This irritates me most of the time. take care and have a great day! lovelots..faith

I'd be bothered too, and it's this kind of parenting that lets a kid grow up and turn into an irresponsible, careless person who is only out for themselves. That happened to me once, so from then on, every time they had a birthday, I would gather the gifts and put them away so they could open in peace when everyone was gone, I had to do that in order to keep the peace in the family. Good luck!

Im quite relaxed about it but i dont make excuses for my childrens behaviour ok they might play up cos they are tired or too little too understand BUT that doesnt mean I can sit back and allow them to just do what they like because they are only little thats just not on. Some parents dont give a damn unfortunatly!

In my house, I make it clear that my rules apply. I would have told her, "yes, I know he doesn't understand, but he cannot do that." If it upsets her, she will be less likely to let him sit so close next time and cause trouble!