How long should I tolerate her?

are there other reasons other than the fact that you both stay far from each other? I mean when the conditions are ok Like communications and stuff? where will I find this treasure if I can work at the one I have to make it into a treasure. Are true lovers ready made people?

So,you should to ask her what accounts for this?maybe she has something really don't want to say others,as the proverb goes whoever started the trouble should end it,that means they that hide can find.If the sun shines again after rain,you would tell me the good news immediately!! Good Luck,I know how much you love her.

chatting which guy? another guy or the the fiance who left? i think you didnt tell here you like her, maybe she thinks of you as a friend only.

Yes its a fact that I love her. I met this girl when she had lost all the feelings and thoughts of a perfect love because she was raped by a man who was suppose to be her fiancee. She was introduced to him without her consent she was introduced as her fiancee the first she set her eyes on him by her parents (A kind of arranged relationship) Because she couldn't protest and was naive and very afraid of the parents she gave in and this prompted the guy to try and get close to her... in doing so they spent their first night together and this guy took her by force and her virginity was gone even though they were yet to be officially married. He travelled after then and since he has been abroad and she has been here the guy virtually abandoned her afterwards this made her become some traumatic patient that I rescued and show her there are true gentlemen still by the corner she fell and again believed in love but the other guy coming back to her of late has met she no longer continued in showing her feelings but rather concealing it and giving me the cold should whilst spending hours chatting with the guy. But when she gets into trouble or needs assistant she runs to me and I have never disappointed her but its all getting me down and now almost out!

Well I read through your incisive post and I kinda discovered that you may not have gotten it through. The htings is that me and this girl have come a long way (3 years almost) we started out being friends because I have this aura of an angel you can rely on so even though she was still bleeding from her hurts inflicted by her so called fiancee that was forced on her by her parents for their selfish reasons most likely we became friends and she trusted me and we grow to be so attached to each other but we are never together because we live far apart and she schools at some more farther place. Now three years after (almost) she has STARTED taking his calls which she denies to me when I ask her whose been calling she says no one when she can't think up a quick lie. As a man I have reviewed the situation and I have seen that the guy probably has more security than me but if its for real she will be mine just like we have always dreamed and hoped for. but within me am beginning to lose it cos she is no longer the one that make hallucinate and fantasize all day. I have expressed this to her but she says I shouldn't worry. she hardly sacrfices or do anything thats shows She loves. and the thing is that I hardly care before now and she has gotten used to it. I just want out but my soul and friendship belongs to her!

Well you sure got a point there but the problem is that I can't be straight up with her by going outright because am handling some of her school projects. I don't want it to seem like am doing all that for because I want to get something (Her dedication, love and what have you) because of the sacrifices am making for her. When am done with the tasks am currentling handling for her then and then will be the right time. It kinda scares me too cos when am asking her all that then I should be ready for the worst . you know what I mean compromising the friendhip that I have built with her. I don't want her to fall into a relapse believing all guys are the same!

Space no way. Am just about the only girl she talks to real earthlike you know...down to earth. I have had obstacles in the name of her sisters, roommates and friends who could't just resist the urge to flirt with mr nice guy! but I have always come out clean. am worried that she might be getting healed from distrusting men and their promises but she is at the same time falling for her ex cos she is not the dreaming type. she is so quite and well behaved that she wouldn't dare go against her parents' wish and thats not very good for me xos am ready to live on a desert with just beside me!

Well I really do trust and feel her like the blood that runs in my vein but the fact is that I am loosing the touch and grace that I once ans hse is not helping matters especially with her establish contact with her ex-fiancee. The guy is responsible for all that she says and does with any man now, that am sure of and in one way or the other Ihave been able to change the way she thinks but see where it has gotten me to? Head aches and aches and I want out even though my heart disagrees!

Yeah the relationship is built on the phone CONVERSATION and I can't really judge from this because she sounds really lovely on the phone and very open too because she will bare her mind to you and.... she complains that she is an introvert and she can't help it! Am not sure how much longer I can wait, even though we have shared dreams of living together but she is getting used to be so far away and this bothers me!

Well I understand what you mean but am sure she loves me and can not or do not know how to explain it because she has always fought her friends when she finds out they are trying to be too nice to me and showing likeness for me. She adores me because I have been there for her for a long time. The last time we talked she said she was going to come spend some time with me because I have tolerated much for her! She had a bad experience like 4 years ago and she has refused to let go but after some time the guy who was responsible or who is responsible for her attitude is getting back to her cos he is got the bling bling and she is in college and would readily fall for such material security am not sure though but I love her so much that I don't want to lose her but I also want to stop hurting myself! am in a fix!

Yeah I cherish her and all she stands for she is so blind blowing when it comes to her honesty and truthfulness and she can really be down to earth. SHe put up some of the best air I have seen in any woman or read of! Shes so so beautiful too and she just kills me with respect! She is a package but she is super shy and sometimes I can't take it...she is an introvert and I don't know how to bring her out!

Well you do have a point but I can't let go for now because I happen to be the one handling a serious project for her (Final year college Project) and she has not been reaching out to know how am going about it... she is so assured I won't be worried or need anything from her. She is an introvert and am in lImerance with her. HELp me. its a kind of a feeling you know like SHE LOVES ME OH SHE LOVE ME NOT!

Yeah thats what I was told so time ago but do you know we have regular talk everytime we talk. she even mentions the guy that was bethrotted to her by her dad whom took away her virginity and abused her on her first night. she just want to get away was what she said at the initial stage but right she wants to keep him and just hang out with me hoping that when it is right we will both run away even if they are married then! can you dig this?

Well am saying I have a girlfriend for about three years now. we live very far apart and as such she has developed a habit of not being able to express her feelings to me in. but when she is in need she remembers me and am always there for. She has issues so am sure its not about another guy! am loosing it I mean my holding power

Well she is a perfect when its comes to snubbing and acting like you don't exist but I can bet she is a saint and not seeing anyone else other than her fiancee who was arranged for her by her parents and whom also is responsible for hatred for guys and shyness that is killing and about to drive a gentleman insane! He raped and took her virginity as insurance that she is going to be his wife without her consent and since she has only but trust me as the only outsider in her other people she talks to her very own biological family!

Am not really sure its worth it. I do understand her feelings and I have tried to make her see reasons that I can't be the sweet caring guy who never complains all the time. She says am specials and she love but she seem to always be in control and her kind of love is really that which is called Limerance. I feel more love for her and yet she does not seem to understand we have talked and really wanted spend our lives together but she is scared of responsibilities and defying the odds to follow her heart am suspecting she is seeing some one I have not talked to her for about five days now and I want to die. she is so used to not calling or even texting yet at the hint of another girl getting close to she goes all blue and mad. she is such a puzzle