For the sake of my children

No, I did not. The reason I finally got out of my marriage was for my childrens sake. I did not want them to be in that type of household any more and I also did not want them to think that was the way you were supposed to act. Many people asked if I could "stick it out for the childrens sake" and I told them I was breaking it up for the childrens sake. Many people don't understand. My brother is in an abusive relationship - his wife berates him constantly - and he wont leave because he doesn't want to pay child support. He's pretty much teaching his children that marriage is not something you are supposed to be happy with, and they actually take advantage of it.

I am one of those wives who stayed back for the sake of the children. Early in my marriage, my husband cheated on me, abused me physically, verbally and emotionally. During those times all I could think of was my children. I thought it didn't matter as long as my children have their father. I also didn't want to be blamed by my children if they grew up without their father by their side. But now, after he suffered a heart attack, he has changed his attitude towards me, a bit nicer but still verbally abusive.

No, i wouldn't stay. The children are being put in harms way each day,and I don't care who it is or what the circumstances, I would not put my kids in harms way. As a matter of fact, that was my breaking point when I left my oldest son's father. He left my son, unattended on a couch to chase me outside to yell at me and shove me around. I left that night, and never looked back. Prior to that incident, i had dealt with his abusive ways for almost 3 years. I left to protect my son. I am a child of divorce myself. I can honestly say that even though I did grow up with a loving father in my life, because Mom remarried a man who has always loved us kids and Mm very much, I would have rather lived a happy life without having two parents in my home than I would have had to live in a hostile environment. To sincerely put the children first, in my opinion, you have to protect them, and continuing to live in an abusive household is not protecting them.

In most cases like this, the children are not witnessing the abuse from the father toward the mother. it goes on beh9ind closed doors or when the kids are not home, so the kids adore their father and think nothing id wrong. And a mother who loves her kids more than anything and is staying in a relationship like this will play along and act like everything is great in front of the kids! She will hide the bruises or the tears, she will put on a fake smile for the kids sake.

Doris- In my first marriage, I did for 9 1/2 years. I thought it best for my children, but finally I snapped. I had enough of the abuse and I left. It took realizing that one day I might end up in a body bag. I can't tell you the mindframe to be honest, as I've changed so much since then. I think at the time I truly believed all he had told me. I got married at age 18, so he had plenty of time to condition me. Though, in counseling I learned that my family had conditioned me before I even met my abusive first husband. They had engrained patterns that made it very easy for me to fall prey to an abusive spouse. It's funny because I didn't see the Tina Turner story until I was remarried, but it really showed me just what I had been doing to myself in my first marriage. Blessings-Anora

The main reason why a woman stays in relationship with an abusive husband is finance.She don't have confidence in raising up a child by herself.I feel sorry for these women.When violence takes place in a family both the mother and child suffer.If a mother really care about the well-being of the child,she should not just tolerate without doing anything to make the situation better.

I think you need to ask some help from a counsellor in your community to help you out with your problem.

not only for their children. if these women have been battered over a period of time, they are so demoralized and just afraid of the change that will make them move out of the house.

Hi dorisday! Living with a abusive husband is very difficult and hopeless. Some women do it for their children. Some live as they dont have the courage to live alone with the children and specially the financial problems. some are working and some are housewives. Anyway I have not experienced much as my husband used to do it the early days after that he he never. He was a kind and good loving husband. Happy mylotting.

Another reason they stay in violent relationships is their confidence is so low ,they feel they cannot exist without this person and slowly lose their strength.Then theres the where will I go,without any money,or job it is not as easy as some people may think to just walk out with kids in tow.They are so frightened because this man has probably told her she is useless,hopeless and if your are told that enough times you beleave it and think all the problems in the marriage are down to you.Don't ask me how I know so much will you!!!!!!!!

No because I think children are being harmed just seeing discord in the home, whether or not they are seeing actual abuse. Physical is a definite no, with verbal and emotional I would have to use discretion

I do believe your post, many marriage around me have the sam sake:children. We love our children, because they have the blood of mine, and we so care for them, protect them from sickness,hurt and sadness. So we keep our marriage completely as we could.

Absolutely not. How is this healthy for the children? I understand as a mother myself I would do ANYTHING for my daughter. But if my husband physically, verbally or emtional abused me then what's to say he wouldn't do the same to his child? I've been in an physically abusive relationship in the past and thats one thing I swore to myself I would 1. never let happen again and 2. never let my children witness or be part of.

I've been the victim of an abusive husband when there was a child involved. I know what it is like to think there is no escape, no where to run, no end in sight. However, I was lucky to say the least. I have a wonderful family who was my support system and helped me to get out. It wasn't easy. Even years later I still have regrets. Not for leaving him but for staying as long as I did. I see what it has done to my child. Her father isn't in her life and hasn't seen her since she was 2 (she's now 11) There are many repercussions that I face on a daily basis.. While there are no bad ppl in the story I tell my daughter she still has many many questions. For now I can give the sweetened version, however I know the day is going to come when I have to tell her the truth. For any women who are out there in a relationship that's abusive, get out as soon as you can. YOu cannot change him, he will do it again and he will only hurt your children in the long run. If you cant' leave for your safety then leave for your childrens. Its only a matter of time before they become his punching bag too!!!

Thats the worst thing you ca do to your kid to let him or her watch you take abuse day after day. You make your child also feel that its okay to get talked at and take beatings too. I was watching a movie where the mother of the kid talks about ehr abusive husband that he will never hurt her child, the other person says he does not have to hurt him, all he has to do is not love him. I felt such strongly about it then. Since I have had kids, I have decided I will never allow anyone to talkback to me or abuse me in anyway. My kids will not suffer on account of me whatever happens.

Nope, I wouldn't stay in a marriage if I was being abused by my husband. It doesn't do the kids any good to hear and see all the arguing and bickering back and forth. I really believe it causes more damage to the kids to stay in this kind of marriage then it is to leave. It might be more difficult to leave if the reason for staying in the relationship has to do with finances. For example the husband works and has a nice income and the wife has no income of her own. Not all women want to go to shelters for help and don't always have family or friends who are willing to help.

In my opinion, no one is martyr in this time generations. If i am physically abused to my husband and have kids I guess i need an action on that. I know that my children needs a family to grow up with mother & father but as i said if i am abuse physically and emotionally. I wont let my child to show or grow up like that kind of family so they will not be like that in future or they don't hate their father co'z of me. So, I leave the abusive husband and in the right time i can explained my children why we aren't get together their father co'z we not understand each other before.

the kids should be the main reason to get out of the marriage if the wife is being abuse in anyway because for one: the girls will end up being with a guy who does the samething to her because mom is taking it off the father, so she going to think it's alright to be with someone who abuse her in any ways. and the boys will think ok this is away for guys to treat to female because dad is doing it, and mom is taking it from him no matter how bad he beats her. and it will and can cause lot of emotional behavor to the kids, the whole thing can destoried the kids in so many ways. so my thing is what i tell females is get out of it not just for themselft but for the kids. but like my mom told me long ago, you treat females how i would want my dad to treat her, or how i would want any other guys treat my sisters, female cousins. that what i always live by. and tought my son the same thing. but she needs to get out, you hear so many times how a husband killed his wife due years and years of abuse. but he can always come and see me, and pretend i am a female. lol. but i hit back

I was able to keep my step son when I got out of my marriage because I put up with far more then I should have for far longer then I would have liked. He had to be old enough to make the choice in court. He did. He was safe and happy and that was well worth all I went through. It depends on the reason they stay. Sometimes there really is limited choices in their eyes and sometimes they are just so used to it (maybe they came from such a family) that they HAVE to stay.

Ya this is sad but true that 90%ladies cannot move out the house only because of the kids,and this is also a universal fact that a mother can never think bad of her kids,Hey dorisday even iwas also suffering with the same problem but i never losed hope and kept on trying and left the rest to the god and today iam very happy in my family.