How to explain to children about money troubles

For kids eating out or ordering in means different food then you have at home. They often get frustrated to hear the same old response of "not enough money". Try recreating a favorite take out or restaurant meal at home. Instead of ordering Chinese create an Asian meal experience at home. Often you can build an Asian meal around one of those frozen stir-fry dinners that all you add is your favorite meat. Poke around in the foreign foods section at your local grocery store to see what you can come up with. Get your daughter involved by playing restaurant at home. Have her create a menu card listing what is for dinner and maybe even put up a few decorations. One of our kids favorites was pizza with buffalo wings & mojo potatoes. Frozen or refrigerated pizza from the deli section at the grocery, frozen chicken wings dipped in B-B-Q sauce (dash of crushed red pepper or hot sauce if you like it hot) and baked in the oven or done in the microwave and potatoes sliced and coated with shake-n-bake then baked on a cookie sheet. Our kids loved helping fix such meals. You can teach your daughter the value of money by comparing the cost of the fresh fixings with the cost of a similar meal at a restaurant. If you can, set aside some of the money saved for a special dinner out or other entertainment. Set a goal of saving up a certain amount before you can go out to eat or order take out. Make the restaurant at home night even more special by making it a family fun night with a movie or playing games together after dinner. Our kids are grown now and are wise spenders most of the time. Given the choice of take out/eat out or creating some thing interesting at home they will often choose make it at home.

Well, I am 16 years old right now. I can't speak for a child, but as a teenager, it is hard to adapt to "saving up." I was spoiled all of my laugh, from my mothers side of the family...I'm now living with my fathers side of the family, who never spoiled me, never gave any type of material gifts....I got so used to not buying much that this problem with the economy isn't hurting me as much as it would other kids...I admit, I would LOVE to be able to get a nice big pizza some day, or go out to the movies or something, but I understand the problem we're in now and I respect it. My advice to you would be, just don't lie to your child. If anything, that would make it worse. Tell her how it is. Don't try to sugercoat anything just because she is a child. She is the one growing up during this crisis, she is (may) be inheriting these problems when she gets older, so she has to know. I'm sure the only reason she gets upset is because she's young and doesn't understand WHY you do not have enough money. You know that question kids always ask, Why? Why? Why? Well, in this case you need to answer all the why's, even if she's not asking. Here is something my father taught me: tel your child EVERYTHING. explain EVERYTHING to them. Most people say "oh, s/he's to young, they won't understand"...but how are children and adult any different? If anything, children learn more and quicker than adults, so talking to them and explaining things while they learn is a much better idea. I don't want to keep going on and on, but hopefully you get my point...just tell her, explain it as best you can, and don't get aggravated with her....that's all you can do...

I wouldn't get detailed, this is not something for kids to worry about, just let them know that we are saving money and staying in. Make this a fun lesson. Make the dining room into a restaurant, make a menu, etc.

Oh, I don't hide things from my kids. My kids know not to come up to me and go Mom, can we go out to eat, mom can we get this or that. They know money isn't grown on trees, I'm blunt and to the point with them. It saves a lot of trouble in the long run. My neighbors across the street have been having money problems and their son which is 7 now, knows everything. He went from getting everything from this and that, to nothing at all. I think he's such a sweet, and strong kid because he doesn't complain about it. I believe it's best to sit the children down early in the beginning of family problems and let them know what's going on. I mean even though they are young, they are apart of the family. When things goes bad, they suffer just the same as the parents. Leaving a child in the dark or being sheltered isn't good because they won't know how to handle any situations later in life. Your doing a good job by telling her, just also explain to her why you don't have the money. She sees dad going to work and coming home, so in her mind, he's making money. Kids don't fully understand the full concept of money. I would sit your child down and calmly explain to her the situation. Explain to her that pizza, and take out are items that the family can't afford at the moment. Dad isn't bringing in as much money as he did, so for the time being we all, and that includes her have to be strong and have to do without things that the family can do without. I don't order pizza or anything for that matter all the time. I believe if you do that, your kids will expect it because it's routine. Instead of ordering out, why not make things together as a family. Making a pizza is just as fun as yummy if you make it yourself and cheaper. Same goes with any other food take outs. With so many top notch restaurant recipes online, no need to go out to eat again. After your done making these things, you can watch a movie that you can rent at those Redbox's found at Walmarts and McDonalds for a dollar each. Never know, she might have fun helping you, you can start a cheaper routine and she will forget about ordering in on Friday's. Doesn't mean once a month you can't splurge and get take out, but she might not want to do it, once she gets into making it from scratch. Just remember your doing a wonderful job. It's already stressful enough trying to help bring in extra income. It gets harder when you have a child that doesn't fully understand the situation and even worse used to a routine. Routines are easily broken, it just takes time.

For my kids, it is normal for us not tohave much money. As they have grown a little, and ask for things that we just cannot afford, I simply tell them that we can't have that right now, we have to save for it. In your situation, I would just tell her that you don't have it, but maybe next time you will. Have you considered havinf chinese one Friday instead of Pizza? Maybe she is really just wanting something different.

I sometimes have my 2 older kids do the budget with me. I have them grab a pencil and paper and I give them the amount thats in our bank account (the one we use for bills and everyday stuff), not our savings. And I then have them go with me to pay bills or if I do it online I have them watch or do for me and when I do the pay by phone I put it on speaker then they subtract that amount and I take them grocery shopping with me and show them how much it is to eat every month and thinsg like that. It makes them realize that we just dont have money everywhere for everything as well as we did before. Hopefully someday soon we will have it like that again but as for now I try to show them what is actually going on instead of just saying we dont have for this or we dont have as much of this and that.

If it is upsetting her at age 7, change your tactics. She doesn't have the understanding to have it all spelled out for her. Present it as more of a fun, 'when the going gets tough, the tough get going' kind of way. Make games out of doing things to save money, etc. I am not in anyway saying to lie to her about it. Just present it in a more understandable, positive light.

Constantly explainingg to your daughter about your money situation is very difficult I know. It is probably difficult because a 7 year does not really grasp the reality of money. Shamefully, some adults don't either. Explain to her about family. Talk to her about how important it is for everyone to work together to get things back on tract. And they will be back on tract! In the mean time these are the the things that we must do. I need your help to come up with some ideas as to how we can find some different ways to do some of the things we like. Let's learn to make our own pizza. Overtime let's collect enough leftovers to make the best pizza ever and have family night at home or in the park. Tell your child the truth. Let her know very early in life that some times you have to use what is available to you. Be creative with the meager resources. Families enjoy themselves and work together always whether in abundance or scarcity. That is one of the most important lessons that a child can learn from you. This is your opportunity to teach and learn. It is the worst of times, but it is also the best of times. Take advantage.

I just simply tell them that we don't have the money for whatever they are asking for. If they get all upset then I will ask them do you have money and of course the answer is no so then I tell them if they don't have the money then why do they think I have the money. Usually that will stop the conversation and they stop being upset about it.

Tell her to start mylotting. Once she earns enough from mylotting for pay for a meal at a restaurant, then you can have a meal at the restaurant. She will be either too busy mylotting or she will finally see how hard it is to earn enough money for a meal.

It is difficult to epxlain to children who are used to one thing and suddenly find their lives turned upside down. Her biggest need from you right now is stability, that's what she's looking for. Instead of telling her "We don't have the money" focus on "We're going to spend quality time together doing something fun" such as making an exciting dish at home from one of her favorite restaurants. If you focus on that part of it she'll be less likely to get upset over you being worried about monies. As I said in another thread posted on this same subject (I think yours was actually posted first, but I happened to see the other first lol), children feed on your emotions. If you are worried they will be worried. If you change how you feel and respond to the change in economy, you'll find your daughter will make adjustments accordingly. Perhaps you could also start a collection. For each night you don't eat out she can put x amount of monies into a savings pot and at the end of the month you can use that money to go to her favorite place. Part of the rule can be she can't beg or whine. Just divide the amount you know you will need by the number of days in the month and give her that amount each day at the end of the day. Make sense? Good luck and best wishes to you. Namaste-Anora

I grew up in some awful situations. My mother had me when she was only 18 years old, so she had to accept any job she could at that age just to support our family. My father had been unemployed for years, and left my mother to provide for the family. It sucks a lot to know what my father has done to the family, and as a young child my mother had to always tell me that we didn't have the money to do certain things, and it wasn't very easy for me to understand. I grew up in a terrible neighborhood, and living there I understood that we didn't have the money for certain things, because no one in that neighborhood had money for those things. But when I was about 7 we moved to a nicer neighborhood, and everyone had things I was envious of, and I never understood why some kids got brand new expensive toys, and my parents never bought me those things. My mom used to try to do some creative things that would get my mind off of the fact that we couldn't afford certain items. She would buy pizza dough, or english muffins and we would make pizzas on friday nights. My mom and I used to garden together, it was technically my garden, I did 90% of the work for it, and it made me happy to eat from my garden. Think lots of arts and crafts. Suggest playing board games - really, just keep her occupied and she might "forget" about things that cost money to do.

I don't tell mine to much.(10 & 7) When they want to eat out or order pizza, I go to the store. Make it fun for them, I let them make the pizza. You'd be surprized how often they want to stay home to cook. Just find some easy, fun foods.

My oldest is 7 and she wants EVERYTHING and wants to go EVERYWHERE. My focus is just explaining it's not that we don't have money. We do, but we have to make smart choices when deciding what to spend it on. We all love treats, we just have to find smarter ways to get them. I also found that to keep saying "we can't afford that" or "we don't have the money for that" brought me down as well. So now I try to say "that would be great.. lets start saving for that" or "what can we do without this week so we can do that". It helps us put our focus on the positive.... we can get it, just not right away vs. the negative... we just can't get it. She's gotten the concept down. Now my biggest challenge is explaining TV commercials... she will bring me the number to call so I can be a millionaire in days or my money back LOL. I just love my girls. They're awesome!!!

It is tough and be the toughest thing to do since all we want is to make sure our kids have what they need and want. It is the toughest for me when we are at the stores and she is wanting things that I can't afford that is hard to tell a child you love no when they want something and you can't afford it. Usually if we say we don't have it for the McDonald's she is okay with it some since we have been in this situation before. I have a husband who is a carpenter/painter and he is now just getting back to work after not getting much since Mid October. So I know of the struggles. To pay a bill or buy new underwear and socks..Or trying to get another month out of a sneaker. It's hard but I feel that it also helps them understand that life isn't always perfect but you have to deal with what you have. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

I'm really greatful that I was able to tell my kids that mommy and daddy don't have the extra money right now because the economy is tight .. and they didn't question it. I wish I could help you out on what to say but I was lucky that mine understood the first time I mentioned it.

I'm facing the same problems with all 3 of my kids. Not that we ever lived an extravagant lifestyle but we were financially stable up until about a 6 months ago or so. In any event, its hard to explain it to them. In their minds, my husband goes to work everyday so therefore why don't we have money to buy the extras? I try to explain that having the lights on, the tv on, water to take a bath, etc. all costs money and sometimes that money we have to pay is equal to my husband's check, etc. I'm a realtor so everytime I go out showing houses, floor time, etc. they don't understand that I don't get paid for that time [not until a house sells, that is] so they think I get a paycheck too every week. It works a little better with my older one (he's 9) but my 6 and 4 year old definitely thinks money grows on trees! Oh to be little again...with no worries in the world!

I tell my kids the truth but in a way they can understand it. My oldest is 6 and she's always nagging for us to buy them this or that. And her latest is when are we moving to a new house... Though they'll never compeletly understand. do your best to explain things. Just say Daddy isn't working alot right now and the money he earns helps us pay for the take outs. But things like buying you new shoes come before take outs. Even show her an example with some change we used to have this & now we have less & try to explain why and what is a prioity like paying the bill that lets the tv & stove work ect. Unfortunatly kids don't understand that you have to pay for the soap, electricity & gas that say gets their clothes clean ect. It's not handed to you ya know?!?! But you must remember also these are adult woes and they won't really understand til they are earning their own money and paying their own bills just as we did.

Hi friend, I can understand the situation u r facing. and the difficulties u are going through with finance and with communication with ur child. But some how i know it is difficult to make them understand the situations. but if they are not ready to understand it with soft words then i think must have to be more hard with ur child. u might need to show anger too. but somewhere u have to communicate and have to make her understand the condition too. U can tell her like. Honey, we will go for outing in next week not today as am going to do a better dish than hotel for u. or some other ways to stop her from going to hotel. Hope this will help u out. Best luck and may god give more and more prosperity. and may take u out through this situation. bye and take care

i guess you cannot explain too complicated to your daughter because she's just 7 years old.Try to sit down with her and tell her that you will promise to bring her out more often once your husband has more work.i also don't know is it the right way as i guess you may have tried it too,i think it's really very difficult to explain to her too.