Is it ok for me to be me

Well Chimes, Natural course takes you to this equation that you take me as you know me, nothing more , nothing less. Once you have grooved someone in your hearts as a friend the carpet would slowly unroll and the reality would come to the fore. And expectedly there should not be anything unpleasant for you but things do not stop there. As we grow old both in psyche and physic our ideas and notion too undergo changes. And it would be hurting yourself that your friend has not turned out to meet your expectation always. As two individuals are not the same nor should be expected to be like there would be difference here too. The more you are taken over by the give and take the more chances that you would lose a friend.

I take everyone as they are. Listen, I grew up being picked on and made fun of, and it was not a nice thing to have to go through, but it made me a stronger person because of it (and a nicer person). I accept people as they are because I know first hand what it feels like to be judged, ridiculed, and outcast. The first time somone tries to point out a flaw and 'change' me, they are history - I want nothing to do with someone like that. To me, that is shallow. Especially if someone starts comparing me to someone else. Sorry - I can only be me. If I were meant to be "Sally," down the street, God would have made me "Sally," rather than me. So if "me" is not good enough for someone, I walk away from that so-called friendship (or lack thereof), and never look back.

I am pretty sure that you know my opinion on this sweety but I will tell you anyway! A friend is someone who will listen to your problems and empathise with you , who will stand y your side and support you and who will tell you when you are being a Nut, nicely but will tell you! lol A friend is honest with you but doesn't believe in continuously berating you or putting you down. A friend does not try to make you believe the same thing they do but accepts and respects your rights to your own opinions and beliefs. There are so many other things that a friend is but that is my basic beliefs on friendship. Someone who wants to fix you isn't looking for a friend but someone to control! xxxxx

My friends are my friends because I like them the way they are in the first place. There would be no point in them changing (and I would absolutely not want a person to change because I said they ought to, which would never happen). If a person does change over time it could mean the friendship would be stronger or it could end completely depending on the changes that some about. It certainly would not ever be me who would ask or want a person to change.

It is always best to be ourselves. Change and self improvement is a good thing but we should always take people at face value and not try to change them. I think 'fixing' people is more for ourselves than it is for the actual person. Too many people get into relationships and think they can change a person and it just doesn't always happen and that should not be the case.

Hi TL...Yes I do take them as they are. If they are someone who I would change then I wouldn't want them as my friend. The only person I would feel comfortable changing is myself! I first have to save myself before I can point the finger at someone else and save them. And if someone is willing to change that easily do you really want to be friends with them?

Hi TLChimes, I like the way you put this,"taking the other as they are but being there to support them as they change". We should never be out to change our friends, just think about why they became our friend in the first place. Does anyone really want their friend to be a carbon copy of themselves? We must accept our friends for who they are and support them. Blessings.

I think it is better to just be yourself and also not to try to change someone else into what you "think" they should be like. That is not being a true friend. It really annoys me when I feel like somebody else is judging me but I try not to let it bother me too much. If they don't like me for who I am then they are not worthy of my friendship. Hope you are having a nice day TLChimes! Jill

Personally to me, being a friend means accepting people as there are. I know that if someone tried to change me, that would be the end of the friendship, I know that no one is perfect and if you are a true friend, you will love that person regardless of any flaws that they have. I am saddened when I hear about someone trying to change other people. What makes them so perfect that they think that they have the right to try to change anyone? NOTHING. We are all different, unique and special. It is our differences that make us who we are, if we tried to be just like everyone else, we wouldn't be ourselves. I hope that one day every one can learn to just accept others for the way that they are, I am sure that if that can ever be done, the world would definately be a better place to live. I think that the only one needing "Fixing" is the person trying to do the fixing, she should learn to work on herself and leave everyone else well enough alone.

hello, i feel the same....we need to accept people as they are. all people cant be the same and everyone is not the same as us.........but yes, we should also be able to help our friends out if some of their habits might harm them. have a nice day.

It isn't wrong to want a friend to be the best person they can be but you need to accept that they are who they are and there best might not be what you think it is. We all do it though, we do it to our kids, to our friends to our spouses. I guess if people want to change then they will stick with friends who want to change them, otherwise they'll bail, but as long as everyone is happy there isn't really an issue.

well, i beleive that you should always be yourself and if your not then it is usually obvious. true or best freinds are the ones where they only care about being around eachother not how eachother act. if you are only someones freind because they act cool then the freindship will never be real and it will never last long or mean anything. basically if you are yourself then you will get far in life and make many freinds eventhough not everyone will want to be your freind.

if someone is truly your friend, they will accept you for who you are. It is not our place as humans to try and "change" anyone. We can only change ourselves if we choose to. If someone has an issue and if they had True friends, the friends would be there to be supportive and do what they can to Help..not change the person... somoene who spends all their time trying to change other people has to take a deep look at themselves and figure out why they are so controlling and waht it is about themselves that makes them unhappy. we should all be accepting of people as they are....we are not perfect...and we all cannot be just like one another..our differences are what make us unique

I definatly think its ok to try to help someone change if they are self destructive in thier behaviour or hurting others around them, but if its something less serious than that then no its not ok to try to change.

Your understanding of what a friend should be is perfect. If know someone who needs "fixing" then it is unlikely they would be in my circle of friends. I am a firm believer in 'live and let live'. If any friends of mine are facing an issue I will support them but I would also let them know if I thought they were doing the wrong thing but that choice would be up to them not something I would fix.

Hi TLChimes, I have a circle of friends and I wouldn't try to change them or they me, I love them as they are and who they are. but if they have any problems I am there for them to listen to them and to give some advice but at the end of the day its their life and I just accept them for who they are. Tamara

I agree with you. A friend will take you for who you are and not try to change you. A friend will support you in choices you make in life and not judge you just because they do not agree with your choice. I don't think that it is necessary to change for anyone except yourself. If you change for someone else, you will just resent that person in the end.

who does that? is it someone here or offline? which ever that is just messed up if you cant accept people for who they are then you dont need to be around people that is my take on that

As long as you are genuine, kind, considerate and respectful you can be whoever you want to be. It is not someone else's place to fix you and anyone who makes it a point to go around doing this on a regular basis has a serious problem. Acceptance is the first requirement in being someone's friend. Even if the person has bad habits that you don't agree with.

You should always be yourself & anyone who wants to be your friend should like you for who you are. I accept everyone as they are when i meet them. Apparenting that was what attracted me to them in the first place. If you dont be yourself, people may think your are fake, & that is the worst quality ever.