Should I let go or not?!

I would have a heart to heart with your boyfriend and tell him how you feel. If he still refuses to do something about the problem I think as painful as it is you might have to let him go. I am in a simlar type situation with my bf. It's not flirting per se just the number of relatively close female friends that he has. It bothers me quite a bit, plus he does not want to acknowledge our relationship to everyone. I'm not sure what is going to transpire with this, it's not healthy the way it is. It does sound like your bf is trying to reassure you though, it's more than mine would do. I would weigh the pros and cons. You might want to give it some time and see what happens.

I think your boyfriend should at least take your feelings into consideration. Since he already knows how uncomfortable you are with this, he should just stop texting the other person. You don't have to be flirty to be textmates. You can be textmates without the flirting. What kind of messages did you see, if you don't mind my asking. Maybe you just misunderstood them as flirty though they really weren't.

You need to sit him down and tell him how all this really makes you feel.Don't sugar coated, just say it straight. If he can't see that this is breaking your heart and he won't start, then it is time to leave. He may love you but he doesn't have empathy for you and that's bad.Since this Really bothers you and if it is Really nothing than he should be able to stop.Good Luck.

You are so lucky! Your bf is admired by that textmate. She is flirting with him because he is a desirable male. You better get your act together and begin to appreciate him. To him, that textmate is just another envious woman, but if you give him a hard time about it, me might just take the other woman up, because She Appreciates him (and you do not!) Get over it, and start believing in your good luck!

Sending flirty messages to others and playing with their feelings and emotions may be nothing to your boyfriend, but such actions to me can be dangerous and can seriously undermine a relationship. You have already expressed to him how you resent his continued action. I don't think your request is unreasonable as he is already in a serious relationship with you. He shows so little respect for you when he brushes your request off like this. It makes me wonder how strong your relationship is with him really. I feel that if he continues his way as far as sending these flirtatious messages is concerned, you should threaten to leave him. Send him a strong and serious message that if he truly loves you, he should not do things that hurt you. If he persists in his ways, it is best to leave him because he is not worthy of your love.

i guess...let him go and let him understand the situation...on how you felt for it how painful it is to you..you even know when his not beside you he maybe at the other girls side or stole the number of his textmate and text her ask what the real score between the textmate and boyfriend....goodluck girl...i know this is the best thing you should do...

You should be able to tell whether he's lying to you or not. He's your boyfriend after all. For how long, by the way? Here's my advice...tell him how you're feeling. Don't just demand to him to stop texting that girl. Explain to him that it's hurting you and that you're starting to distrust him because it's really weird that he would flirt with someone even it's only through a mobile phone. Tell him, "how would you feel if I'd flirt with another man through exchanging flirtatious messages?" I mean, what's it for, right? Feelings can flourish from flirtatious exchange of messages. That's why cyber love affair happens. Who knows they'd one day decide to finally meet? If after talking to him he still don't respect your feelings, then, decide whether to stick with him or not. You have to save yourself from hurting more.

My thoughts in this is, if it is nothing why wont he stop? If he really loves you and wants you happy why wont he stop? If you love someone you want them secure in their relationship I would think and therefore you would stop something if it was making them uncomfortable.

Hello marie_cehl, If I were you, I definitely get angry at him. But again, it is all about your level of trust. If he says it is nothing, means that it's nothing if you really can trust his words. I just do not understand one thing here - if he loves you, why he can't sacrifice his hobby of texting others. Even if he likes to text so much, it doesn't have to be in a flirty way, right? It is your choice, friend - think carefully before you make your decision.

Actually as a third party,i have no right to ask you let go or not as i don't know the sweet and bitter memory you had gone through with him. What you need to do is have a talk with him regarding your relationship calmly. Remember, don't get controlled by your emotion during the talk, you are trying to settle your problem, not to make thing worse. At the end of the talk, i guess you will have the answer whether to let go or not. All the best ya.

In my opinion, firstly you should give him a chance and both fo you sit quietly and talk about this "puzzle" things. If the things is trully as he says, pls let him give you a chance to meet the peoson he communicated and if the things have some odds or he refuses your request, let him go, do not care where he goes and what he did and doing, he is he, a men who doesn't trust you

Unfortunately some people are just cheaters. Also unfortunately you cannot change anyone. You have to accept someone for who they are or leave them alone. Even if someone says he will change...dont count on it. Its easier said than done.

I agree with you in your concerns here. If this is 'nothing' as he states, then why does he do it? Flirting isn't harmless. Flirting often times leads you down a street befor you even know you've taken a wrong turn. No, this isn't a stable relationship because he's still looking for outside attention. For whatever reason, he is not committed to you. I am glad you found these messages on his phone. It might be the forwarning you need to see if this is really a relationship for you or not. Yes it hurts now, but in the long run I think you would have wanted to know instead of being in the dark about it.

He does not need to flirt with anyone else or have someone desire him when he has you! The truth if the roles were reversed then he would have a problem with it and should. No person should have to go through this or feel the way he is making you feel. Your feelings should be important to him. If he is still flirting with other girls and completely ignoring your feelings about this situation then it sdouds like you have to decide what you can live with. I don't think I could live with this! It feels like cheating and it hurts! If he truly cares about you then he wouldn't hurt you like this! I know how you deal with the situation is completely up to you but if it were me I would tell him it stops or I go. I would also stick to it. If I found out he was doing it behind my back I would leave. Plus he will stop if he loves you. It should not be an issue if he is telling the truth and their is nothing behind it.

It seems that in one way or another maybe even more that he is not being truthful to you and he is cheating. Why would he say or allow someone else to say things that should not be said when he is suppose to love you. He apparently does not respect you or your feelings for him to continue to do something that you wish him not to do. I'm sorry honey, but I have been around this world many many years and I have found this type of behavior to be not right on so many levels. If he does not stop and maybe even if he says he has ...he does not love or respect you. As long as he is doing this you do not need to be with him. He is so adamant and I don't think he will stop this or he will lie and say that he has so you will stop talking about it. He wants his cake and to eat it too. He is only thinking of himself and what he wants. It's high time that you do the same! Do hat is best for you. No one else will and you must respect yourself and what you want and care for yourself for someone else to do the same. I'd lay the law down, he stops or he's gone. It's that simple, but I'd still not count on him and I'd do what I want to do save money just in case it is needed for you to make a move on your own and have a life that you want if it's with him or not. Start doing things as if you will be alone and need this or that. One way or another it is always better to be prepared. Blessings to you and what you need to do.

Yes, you should, and quickly. This gentleman has no love or respect for you. He is insensitive to your feelings, does not really care as much for you as you do for him, and seems to be mainly pleasing himself. Furthermore, no one has a 'textmate' with saucy messages when one has a girl/boyfriend already. Otherwise, what is it really about? how does he define his love? Would he have been happy too with you having a guy as a 'textmate'? When we commit, even if we are not married, we are maturely showing what we desire and suiting action to words. This guy sounds as though he wants the benefits of having your company without the commitment to go with it. However, the most important thing here is that, if he is already behaving that way now, he is not going to do any differently later on, so you will always be feeling anxious, undervalued and insecure. That's no way to live a relationship. The final bottom line is not about changing HIM because he will always do what he wants to do. If he loves and respects you enough, he will appreciate your feelings and treat you the way he would wish to be treated. If he is not listening to what you're saying or doing anything different, despite your hurt, nothing else will happen. Other people NEVER change. The only person you can change is yourself, then others will behave differently too. Until you begin to do something different by getting out of that debilitating relationship, the only person who will continue to get more of the same is you. If you have no self-love, no one can love you either and you only get self love by treating yourself with respect. Staying in such a one-sided friendship won't enhance that self-love or your self esteem. You both are clearly mismatched as a couple. He still wants to flirt around, still immature and low in esteem, while you are seeking some stability and commitment. You won't be happy together. However, you can find someone more suitable for you if you get out of this anxious situation and allow yourself to find someone who will treat you in a more healthy manner. Good luck!

Good day.. The decision of letting go of him will eventually be yours. I can't say if he's cheating or not for I don't know the details but I do believe you should trust your instinct. If your getting tired with your relationship and the pain outweighs your love then I think that is the signal of falling out of love.

1. if he lets you read the messages, you have nothing to worry about. If he gets snippy and defensive then I'd question what he was up to. 2. if texting is all it is, let it lie 3. for gods sake dont keep worrying about it. My friends bf did a similar thing with her, she went crazy and started texting the girl from her phone. She is now so obsessed that she pretends she's him when she's texting and she's got some sort of mental health problem. I think its munchausen syndrome. So please dont let it get to you. at the end of the day it all comes down to trust. Do you trust him? if so tell him you do and tell him that if he ever does think about being unfaithful to at least have the courtesy of telling you as he would owe you that much. Personally i think you could be being a bit over paranoid because you love him so much.

I am married to a man that I have a child with. He became friends with some girl that I knew wanted to be with him. He told me they were just friends, and I did believe him. He was working in another state at the time, the girl that he was talking to lived in the state I do. Thanks to phone bills (and the way it was set up on the billing, told me where the call came from, and were he was at the time of the call), anyhow, I once saw the detailed phone bill, and saw that he talked or this girl called him more than I did. (More than half the time the call only showed a minute, meaning he didn't answer) but my whole point was there is no need for this girl to talk on the phone with MY husband, being the fact, that well... to be blunt she wanted to get into his pants. He to said it was nothing. (This happened before also, and he said he stopped talking to her, til I saw the phone bill again). But in my eyes if it is nothing, then he wouldn't have a problem not talking to her. So I told him flat out, that if it was nothing, stop talking to her NOW. Answer the phone the next time she calls and tell her never to call you again. If I ever see her number on your phone bill again I am leaving you. And I meant it. So I guess it was nothing, cause he saw how it bothered me and stopped it right then.:) Sorry to make the story so long, but simply follow your heart, it guides you right. If it still bothers you and he loves and respects you he will stop. Otherwise, he not the one for you and you can do better. You need to be treated with the respect you deserve.:)

i feel also bad with that kind of situation....... i recall that is the same thing that happen to me....my love told me they are just friends...... but i feel strange..... one time i found the cellphone on the bed..... and i look at all the messages.... it was the same..... quotes, hi & hello stuff..... but when i look at the sent message..... i saw one that made me cry...... the message was....."shes suspecting...... you should lay low......" after that we argued..... i cried & cried..... my love told me sorry....Im only human... and that girl is insisting, i've pushed her away but she keeps coming back to me..... i promise i wont hurt you again.....please stay.....please dont let go... But still that promise is seem to be a little of words & less of execution...... If you think you cant go on with that kind of situation.... well i suggest you let go..... but if think he is in the process of changing then stay.....