(Continued) I am very disappointed with my husband...

Hi mermaidivy.... sigh. This is worse that I thought :( He's flirting BIG TIME with that woman at the gambling table. It's truly hurtful, but you've got to tell him how you feel about it. Put your foot down; he can't step on your head like this. I mean, you don't have to yell at him knowing very well that he's gonna yell back at you. If I were in your shoes, I'd imagine myself doing the following: I'd just leave him alone - no need to say anything when he goes out and comes back late. "Pretend" that things are ok though I know it's not. The purpose of doing this is to see if he really notices that I have "changed" - no more asking questions about him etc. Ya, use a little bit of reverse psychology. If one fine day he asks, "Honey, you've been quiet" - then I'd answer, "I've nothing to say." - and walk away. Write a note to him, leave it somewhere where he could see and ask him about what's happening to our relationship, and stay a day or two at my friend's place, and tell him how hurt I've been. Some men need a REAL COLD treatment, or like what I've said earlier, a kick in the butt to wake them up. Well mermaidivy, give it a few more months (that's the max). You've got to be a bit more patient. If things don't change... well, I hate to say this - break up or at least live separately till he's come to his senses. I'm sorry but this is the best LAST RESORT solution. It's a tough decision - one that no one likes to make; but if you have to, then do it without remorse. Hope i'm not making things worse by offering such unorthodox advice. You take care ok? :)

I have read your last discussion and this current one. I am so sorry you are going thru this. Men can be pigs sometimes (not all men). Do you think your husband would be willing to go to couples counseling? There is obviously some type of problem. Anything is better than you going thru this. You need to know what's going on for your peace of mind if anything else. Nothing is worth sacrificing your sanity. Good Luck.

Ok, so he is attracted to that woman. Has it gone any further ? You say its been a month, so have they met in this month or talked. You first try to find out all you can, for being attracted is one thing and having an affair is another. If its all in the mind and has gone no further, then let it be. The more you bring it up, the more he will remember her. Has his behaviour to you changed ? Dont jump to conclusions. I have not read your previous discussion, so cant say much.

I should be giving you a more positive advise as, if you love and don't want to lose your husband, trust him and forget about the doubts and worries you are anticipating. You are the wife and you have all the rights for your husband who'd been together with you for years compared to the girl (whom you described as not even beautiful), whom he may know just now. You have the guts and all the edges, you must know how to keep him and never allow any girl to keep him away from you.

Sounds like he likes the attention of another woman being attracted to him like he finds it flattering. He should be more concerned about your feelings then being flattered. A woman came on to my husband knowing he was married. He blew her off. We joked about it later but his joke was like see this is what happens when you run off and abondon me. Crazy chicks hit on me. I thought she was simi-attractive and I am way pregnant. I went to the bathroom and came back when she was talking to him. It was no big deal to us. But he should not rub it in your face that she was attracted to him. You parobably already knew that. Plus he should not have persued talking to her. What he should have said about the situation is that he was not attracted to her and really didn't notice her. Plus he should have made no attempt to talk to her or anything. She just should have been invisable. He totally disrespected and your feelings. I am so sorry that he treated you like this. I hope things get better. Have you tried talking with him about how what he said hurt you? I think you should. He needs to know that his words hurt!

That is pretty sad. How does he know that she is attracted to him? Have they talked sometime in the last month without you knowing about it? I never read you first post about this, so I don't know what relly happened originally. I know that women are always fawning over my man, I had one actually just walk up and grab his arms once at a grocery store! But he has never told me that he is attracted to them, even though I am sure he is to some of them, otherwise, he wouldn't be human. But to tell you about it, that is just mean. I really hope it works out for you!! You need to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel, don't do it at night before you go to bed...do it on a day when you have time to really talk it out.

If I were on your situation, I could have either slapped him on the face immediately or could have joked about letting him go and find that girl. . .. It's an insult on me if it was done by my husband. If he is attracted to somebody else, he should have kept it to himself.

well.. men are always men. that's why i chooses to be singlemom at once. LOOOL i mean for them cheating and flirting with other girls are just normal with them. they dont bother if their partners get hurts. too bad.

I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes, men can be really insensitive. Try speaking to him and telling him how you feel. It's natural to be attracted to other people from time to time. Try to be happy that he has no intentions of going any thing with this girl.

It is really very bad on his part as he is very insensitive towards your feelings. I think he has got attracted to that woman and also flirted with her on that day. The best way is the clear cut communication .Do tell him how you feel when he talks the kind of stuff he is talking with you. Do not let him play with your emotions,be strong and disclose your true feelings,i hope he understands.

Eeeiiinnnkkkkk wrong answer! your husband is really nearing flirting women or has already committed adultery in his heart. Sorry to say this to you, but i told you already what to do. A person with no respect, will never gain my respect too. I am not a rock, I'm a human person, i feel hurt so if you are a stone too, you may not do anything about it. His answer of saying YOU AND HER ARE ATTRACTED TO ME! sounds more like, hey I am not attracted to you! how dare he has the guts to say that in your face, and what? you would just swallow that? you will just keep him stumping you on the ground? Will you wake up dear and the answer is pretty obvious in the air. You better run away as far as you can now because even if you go, he might not miss you at all, he will just be happy and mingle with other girls, that's for sure. Sorry I'm so rude, but your husband is much more rude since you have been with him for quite some time, and I am not. I don't like women be treated like this. But if you continue to allow him, then it is your fault. I can't see anything new with this, it will just go on and on and on. And then you will post another disappointment.

Wow, that is heartbreaking. He did said that and so did she? Sound to me like lust and love. If he's attracted to her and he still with you, clearly he's playing around. He need to sort out what he really want to do. You need to be brave and be prepare to accept whatever may happen from now. It seems things won't end at only that.

What can i say here?.. Ok, looks like you have a jealousy in you, but that was acceptable because he was your husband... Your husband said that SHE IS ATTRACTED to him huh?.. Have you aver ask your husband does he ATTRACTED TO HER also?..

Love is never fair right? and that really sucks. Im sorry to hear about your pain but I think it would do good if you communicate your fear and hurts to your husband. I do hope he responds well and I do hope such bumps in your present relationship can be overcome by both of you before somebody gets hurt in the end.

First of all noone deserves to be treated like this by anyone let alone their S/O. Not all men are like this either, I think it is a total lack of respect and even caring on his part. I am one that you fight for your marriage BUT if it is making you feel like you arent worth or good enough for him that is wrong. Im not sure what I would do in your situation, well yeah I do but I dont think most would like it. Luckily I have never had to put up with it. My husband loves me and doesnt do these things. Even when someone flirts with him, he lets them know that he is happily married and that he finds me the only woman he wants. That is how a husband is suppose to act, as a wife is with a husband.

Sounds to me that there are other issues going on here, besides what this girl thought. These types of games should be left to the side by the time you get married. It sounds like he might just be trying to make you jealous, or his expression of this is actually an expression of some deeper dissatisfaction. Either way, you two need to talk. The issue here isn't whether that other woman actually found him attractive or not, but why he felt he had to let you know that. Sounds like a cry for attention.

many have given you good advise. i just hope you're not feeling as sad, now that you can see many who support you. if the two of you trust is each other, i feel that that girl will not be much of a problem. men, no matter how old, will be men. sometimes, they tend to think with their lower body rather than their heads. my hubby is one example. i don't mean he does it or anything of coure ehehe but he says worse things than this to me when he's angry or pissed off at me. like saying, 'oh then, if you want to divorce, i can divore right now' or 'i have some girl outside' or 'i can have my choice of girls' etc etc. yes it hurts when he says them, but once anger subsides, i'm like what the hell. it's all talk for him. but it is really bad of him to say tht you're the only one attracted to him and all. that makes me pissed off and wanna retort back and all. but then again, i don't really know what is going on between you. so i hope all this unpleasantness goes away soon, that the two of you settle things and that you are happy again.

there is nothing wrong being attracted to someone else even if you're already in a relationship. its human nature. just be confident about yourself and stay beautiful the way you are and i'm pretty sure your husband will not look on other girls but will only look at you.

give him space in order for him to realize the loss that he'll soon experience if he'll just let you leave him... or prove to him that your much better than that girl... maybe your husband find you too unattractive already so try to beautify yourself... :)

Men, for some reason, have to know that they are attracted to other women. That doesn't mean they will cheat on you. I would've said, jokingly, "I'm glad she is attracted, because I did too, that's whay I married you. Now if you are attracted to her, and you think that her attraction is dangerous to our marriage, let me know, and I will gladly step back and let you go for it. But, remember, once you do that, there is no going back, and I'm sure I will find a happy life with you or without you." Then let it go. Men hate it when their women or wives act jealous, because the bottom line is, men will continue to look at other women, that is what they do, and they don't want you to make them feel guilty about it. When men come home at night, the worse thing they canhome to is silence and an attitude... so...let it go. Don't bring it up again! You will only drive him away.