The Magic of Listening.
By Pose123
@Pose123 (21635)
Canada
July 25, 2009 8:37am CST
Are you a good listener? Most people prefer to talk than to listen and we feel good when we are able to give other people advice. Sometimes however,it is our friend who needs to talk, to get things out of his/her system. When someone you know is having a hard time remember that they might be getting lots of advice, it's probably a listening ear that they need more than anything. Lets try to remember that the next time we think we have just the right words to say, and ask instead, "Is there something you want to talk about?
3 people like this
17 responses
@geniustiger (1694)
• Philippines
25 Jul 09
I am a good listener. Most of my friends
tell their secrets about me. I wonder why
of all the people she is close to only
me she told her secrets.
I think I'm proud of it , even new friends
I met , surprised having an updates with their
life. They think that I can be trusted and it
is really true.
I will talk after she asked having a talk regarding
her problems and worries in life.
@think_twice (553)
• India
25 Jul 09
Yes, I am. Many of my colleagues, friends, students ask me for help. I listened to them and give advice. I have heard many of them benefited from my advices. But many of them not accepted it in front of me & some of them tried to hurt me in exchange. It's after all human nature. I don't mind it. I am still doing my task as a good listener and adviser.
2 people like this
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
25 Jul 09
I would say that i am indeed a good listener. When-ever my friends have needed to get something off their chest, ask advice etc, they know they can come to me.
In return my friends then listen and advise when i need help. Me and my friends normally share a good connection.
2 people like this
@France7 (385)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
How are you pose. As always, i am with you in saying that listening to someone is one of the best helpful things we can do for one who is in trouble. It is really helpful to give advice, but it is not always. That is why, listening to someone express his feelings can give much great relief with a nod or even a tap on the shoulder. God bless!^^
@voldrox (7191)
• India
25 Jul 09
hi pose
i believe i am a good listener, in a group i am the quietest one, i just love to listen to what people have to say and i grasp many things from it, we have so much to learn and we can sometimes do that just by listening... besides it, one of the best ways to know about someone is to hear what they have got to say... all my friends agree that i am a good listener.
i sometimes also like to listen to what elderly people have to say, they talk about life and various aspects and sometimes i really find such things interesting, to know their opinions to matters very important, some of them that we all have to face one day when we get older, their is a lot of wisdom to gain just by listening... there has been moments when some of the people i know had to face some trouble and i could help them by giving proper advice which i had received some time back when i was listening to discussions among others... their is certainly a lot to learn about life and the complications one might have to face when he/she gets older... complications and how to manage them are a big part of life and one cannot be smooth with it if they just keep talking and talking...
listening is a big part of my life, it is the way i am and that's how i want to be, just be myself.... nice discussion
2 people like this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
25 Jul 09
Hi voldrox, Thank you for commenting and it appears that you are doing fine. Not a lot of young people enjoy listening to elderly people but there is so much to learn from them. When I was a boy and young man, I loved listening to my elders and now I often think of their stories and enjoy them all over again. Continue to be a good listener. Blessings.
@grace118224 (1038)
• China
26 Jul 09
i'm a good listener for most of people . But sometimes it depends on what they are talking . If they talk a lot of rubbish i won't be a good listener and i will show my impatience. Of course if my friends come to me to talk about their sad story or the problem they meet i will be a good listener indeed . i will give advice if i see that she or he might need it . Somebody just want to get a listener instead of any advice .
1 person likes this
@sonz_doreen (193)
• United Arab Emirates
28 Jul 09
This is one habit I need to work on in my life. Thanks for sharing, sound advice.
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
26 Jul 09
You are so right Pose. We all are so much better at expressing our opinion about something that we most often forget to just listen to what the other says. This could be a very simple thing to a very traumatic event.
If we know that someone has been through something that really has them hurting we often forget that just letting them talk helps more than anything we could ever say or do.
Great post.
1 person likes this
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
25 Jul 09
Nice topic!
As I recall, there's some old saying about there being a "good reason" why we have TWO ears and just ONE mouth... and perhaps they should be used proportionately.
As you say, most people prefer to talk... and I have often been told that I am "really interesting to talk to," and that actually MEANS that I am good at getting other people to talk about THEMselves. I don't say much, I mostly listen. Most people say I am an "active" listener-- I actually HEAR what someone is saying, and find ways to make them talk more about themselves.
Something I find helpful is that if someone is having a problem, remember "It's about THEM, not about ME."
@jaisundar (215)
•
25 Jul 09
I don't think many of you listen to others when they talk. I too wonder why people don't listen to others. According to me the person who wants to talk to another should be aware of the following things in his mind:
1. If the person is in good mood to listen.
2. If really likes your speech, otherwise why should we waste our time unecessarily.
3. The media of talking.
4. Age group.
5. Literate or illiterate
6. Languages known to them.
7. The topics of their interest, as the topic in which one may converse may not be liked by the listener.
etc.
1 person likes this
@jpso138 (7851)
• Philippines
26 Jul 09
I do agree with you. It is really important to listen at times. There is this radio station that I listen to before and it always say " listening is the beginning of understanding, when you really listen, love is what you find..." I am sure that people at times need to talk and by listening to them we could surely give them a helping hand. From there we could also give them some advise on what to do. Great post you got there....
1 person likes this
@zhuhuifen46 (3483)
• China
26 Jul 09
You are right sometimes listening is the best way to comfort people, especially when they are in poor health, or just stuck by a bad occurance. They need someone to talk to, as effective as a shoulder to lean on. There are assistance means of call and tv stations. After uttering the miseries and a few remarks of suggestions at the other end, they get so much better.
1 person likes this
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
26 Jul 09
I think I tend to listen to people. I speak when I am sure I have the hang of what it is all about. If I doubt what I wanna say, I'd be better off being silent.
@doryvien (2284)
• United States
26 Jul 09
Hi Pose,
I am more of a listener than a "talker". When friends and/or family come to me to pour their hearts out, I just listen, then I try to assess if the person wants my opinion or if he/she just wants someone to talk to. I don't wanna give unsolicited opinions as the person may not take it positively. If the situation calls for my viewpoint, then I am generous in giving them a piece of my mind. With due respect to your last statement, I wouldn't ask that question as I don't wanna be perceived as nosy, and I believe if a person wants to talk about something, he/she will initiate it. Always, my friends know that my shoulders are ready for them to cry on whenever necessary. Nice topic. Peace.
@jeg2315 (197)
• United States
26 Jul 09
I am much more of a listener/thinker. I like trying to figure things out by listening to someone else - only afterwards do I come up with ideas and then talk. It seems like people are afraid of listening because they are afraid of silence. As though if we aren't talking, we're wasting time - but often, the time we spend talking is wasted on empty, superficial topics. Even the phrase "awkward silence" says a lot about how we as a society view not talking.
1 person likes this
@hsofyan (3446)
• Jakarta, Indonesia
25 Jul 09
Humans have two ears and one mouth. This means should listen twice more than talk. Unless the people who really need to give lectures, teaching, and the like. Their duty requires them to speak more than listen. I'm in practice towards that, even though I realize that I have not been successful.
@edrian (17)
• Philippines
26 Jul 09
The listening is the best tools for knowing the customer wanted to.Most of us,we listen first before we speak.We listen for good advice for someone who want to ask for it.The right to say a word for everybody and share the ideas they know about it and then speak the words they wanna say.