Pending Friendship Request
@cookiecrumbles (629)
United States
July 27, 2009 8:32am CST
Pending Friendship Request --- Those are pretty sad words when you see them and you know it has been longer than a week. You sit back and wonder why? Why hasn't this person made me their friend. Is it something I did. Then if it is what did I do wrong. How can I talk to them and change their mind? What can I say or do to get that to change to a friend.
I consider myself a good friend. I have had some friends since grade school. And i am now 54. So that means at least 40 plus years. I have done alot of nice things here and have made some great friends. And for that I am so completely happy.
I know you can't please everyone, but I sure try. I guess since I have one of those people pleaser personalities it is in me just to find out why. If everyone answered my pending requests I think I would have about 500 to 600 friends. I know that is alot. I am not going for any goal. I just want to see the pending change. There are some people that have written great discussions that I have wanted to write to personally and can't. I know that is selfish, but it generally to give them praise or to help them with something they said they needed.
What do you think about pending friends?
19 people like this
61 responses
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
27 Jul 09
I've just written a long response to this and hit 'Post response' only to see 'page cannot be displayed'. Needless to say the response disappeared into the ether! Basically, I was confesssing to having outstanding requests from others which I haven't accepted because we dont appear to have any common interests, some are clearly 'collecting' friends or trying to find referrals, some I would not feel comfortable about accepting and some I just dont know enough about. However, I cannot bring myself to hit 'deny' even on people I know that I could not be a proper friend to. I prefer not to have a friendlist that runs to hundreds as I dont spend a lot of time on here so would rather have fewer friends whose discussions I could follow.
4 people like this
@thea09 (18305)
• Greece
27 Jul 09
Hi Cookiecrumbles, if I've requested a friendship and it's been sitting there a couple of days and they've been active but not responded I delete my request, I would hate to clog up their box as mine is. I always check profiles before I request and check that they have something interesting to say and that they respond to their own discussions and have similar interests. I check the same thing with incoming requests and deny the ones who are friends collectors but I've never come across in any discussions. I have a few persistent ones who won't go away despite deletions so I am resigned to having to see them every time I open my friends box, their activity doesn't grow much but their friends list does, I don't understand their goal with this at all.
3 people like this
@thea09 (18305)
• Greece
27 Jul 09
Hi Sandra, Probably another friend collector, I just don't get it unless it's as you say for mass spamming. Most of the ones I deny are young boys into money sites and computers and as I tend to check friends started to reply to I don't want to have to wade through their topics which I'll have no interest in.
2 people like this
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
27 Jul 09
Thea, I've got a 16 year old lad who I have nothing in common with, and who's never responded to one of my discussions. I haven't responded to his either, as they're mostly in the 'make extra money' interest, so I have a feeling if I accept him, I'll get spammed straight away. I've denied the request 3 times in as many days. I wish I could message him and tell him to leave me alone, but I can't unless I accept him. I'll leave him pending if he does it again, although I usually deal with friend requests as soon as I see them.
2 people like this
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
27 Jul 09
I admit it sometimes takes me a while to check on the "pending friends". I like to see where they are from and their interests. I forget to do somethings on a regular basis. I'm not on here as much as some are. I rarely turn down a friend request. Who knows these people may have interesting discussions?
3 people like this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
27 Jul 09
Hi Cookie,
Don't take it to heart. Some have gotten a little more cautious when adding friends...thanx to the trolls and spammers and all. I know I have. I usually don't deny the friendship but If I don't recognize the person right off or if they are very new, I just hang on to it for a bit and see if they are going to stick around & kind of get to know them a little better before accepting. Another thought....I don't know if anyone else does this but I sometimes don't even notice when I have new requests. Then I'll see it and check and oops...it's been there for a while.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (160696)
• United States
28 Jul 09
That is what I figured about one of my requests that was pending a long time. I thought I recognized her from another site, and was surprised she did not accept or deny, but I finally figured she just never noticed.
2 people like this
@meapas (2436)
• India
27 Jul 09
It is very touching. I am hearing this for the first time that someone extending a friendship hand and not being acknowledged. Very mean to do such a thing. Every one needs friends. Be cool and don't take much to heart. There is no dearth of good friends. May God bless you.
@cookiecrumbles (629)
• United States
28 Jul 09
I know some people aren't here everyday. I can understand that. I didn't write this to be mean just to wonder if it happens to alot of other people.
@devmitra (274)
• India
27 Jul 09
Hello Cookie.Pending friends requests is a very common phenomenon in most of the sites.It happens when individuals are not logged in for a long time.When I join any site I get a lot of pending requests and eventually,with time,they are converted into friends.Don't worry.All you need is a little bit of patience.Keep Mylotting.Regards devmitra.
@cookiecrumbles (629)
• United States
28 Jul 09
Seems you are one of the people that are on my pending list. lol :)
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
27 Jul 09
i try my best to check my pending friend requests everyday and add them as my friends as soon as i can... but when i am busy, i just can't do that and it will take me a little bit longer to add them... i know that it is not good to make people wait and i am guilty of that... but at the end, i never refuse a friend's request and i always add them to be my friends... take care and have a nice day...
2 people like this
@cookiecrumbles (629)
• United States
28 Jul 09
Sweetie did you know that I had sent you a request?
1 person likes this
@Pigglies (9329)
• United States
28 Jul 09
I don't consider the friend requests to be that serious. Honestly if I request someone as my friend and they don't accept, I'll never even realize that. However, if someone sends me a request I will accept as soon as I'm on MyLot. So if you request me and it sits for a week, it means I am too busy to log in. But as soon as I do log in, I accept all those immediately.
2 people like this
@cookiecrumbles (629)
• United States
29 Jul 09
I kinda have a routine when I log on. I answer my messages, then check my friend requests and turn everyone on. Then I check my discussions that I have written in the last week to see if there are any new responses I need to answer. Then try to write a new discussion.
@prashanthalva (2272)
• India
28 Jul 09
A Lot of Them Want friendship On Mylot For Link Exchange .. Which Is Ok .. As Anywhere It is Money .. But when You get Tired Of These .. What Do you do .. I Am Not Aware Are You .. I Don't Have Words Of Advice Or Anything .. Am Also Puzzled .. I Need Advice ..
2 people like this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
30 Jul 09
sometimes people are on vacation.you might want to wait a bit longer,they might not have had a chance to see it yet.
i don't worry about it.they just might have decided they don't have enough in common,which is ok.
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
27 Jul 09
As for myself, cookiecrumbles, I always try and respond to any friends requests as promptly as I can. I rarely deny any requests because I'm all about making friends. I know that many of the ones that I approve are seldom heard from again, yet I still continue to approve them. It is not often that I will ask to be a friend because I am so shy, but I welcome most everyone who would like to be friends with me.
3 people like this
@PeacefulWmn9 (10420)
• United States
27 Jul 09
Hi Cookie...I have had this happen a few times, too, and after a month, I finally just deleted the requests. I hope you received my msg about my "broken" computer. I think the best way to look at such a thing as pendings is the friends that are meant to be will respond :)
Karen2 people like this
@net_ankit (643)
• India
30 Jul 09
I accept all requests pending in my friend request sometimes forgot to check then next time I accept it, and I don't mind now that people is accepting my request or not because thats doesn't matter here for you.
@vikram3101989 (684)
• India
28 Jul 09
I for one try accept almost all the friendship request the i get i check my mails daily so i do get an idea if someone send me friend request but there are sometimes when i do not get online for weeks that's the only exception.
@mces0925 (195)
• Philippines
30 Jul 09
Yeah, The feeling is bad, I just try to understand maybe they think that we are just going to use them. When I was a newbie here I send so many friend request, some accepted amd some are not maybe not interested to me. So I don't have choice I deleted my friend request to them because it's more than a month and I know that they are active. Now, I informed them first before making a request. But on my part it's nice to have friends from different countries. I would accept all the friend request. Happy myloting!
2 people like this
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
I don't see any pending friends request on my profile because I'll make sure that all request has been approve or accepted. I am a friendly person and don't characterize any body whatever there color or language are.
Because I believe that no matter who they are or what they are. They are still my friend and not change till they want me as their friend...for old days or for future days to come...
Happy mylotting....!!!!
2 people like this
@fanxiangqian (185)
• China
29 Jul 09
if someone pending friendship request,i will accept it no hesitate.due to english is my second language,so the friends at my side sign in mylot is very rarely indeed,so i hope make friends with the person oll over the world!
2 people like this
@shibham (16977)
• India
29 Jul 09
hi there, i have just wanted to start this dis but u have already. no problem but it seems that our thoughts are similar to some extend.
anyway, i have more than 15 pending friend requests. some of them are 4 months old. so i have deleted them. don't think why they don't accept u, they may think that u are not able to be their friend after reading your profile. but i think ( u should too) they are not able to be my friend. i have sufficiant friends who are always helpful and reliable for me in this site. u should think this way. u have seen that there are some members having more than 2000 friends. i don't know how they handle them. it may push them to a big problem so that they are now thinking not to accept more. lol
2 people like this
