Noisy kids. Why do they do it?

I have a story to share with you about traveling with an infant on a plane. I traveled with my daughter when she was 6 months old and I know about the ear thing. I nursed her, COVERED on the plane on my flight out during take off. Some ignorant flight attendant made some type of comment about how I should put her in the seat and I explained that if I did that, she might scream and annoy the entire flight full of people. Well, I stood my ground and kept her on my lap and she did not scream, she didn't even whimper. On the flight home however, she was playing with a noisy toy and the comment from from a passenger who rolled her eyes at me and snipped that I shouldn't be carrying 'such a thing'. I informed the passenger that she had two choices, she could listen to the rattle for a bit or i could take it away from my daughter and she could CRY loudly instead. The woman hmphed and plugged her headphones into her laptop and that was the end of it. Honestly, when people are given a choice, they really need to realize that as parents, WE think through better and worse scenarios too. We aren't purposely trying to ruin your day, we are TRYING to pick the best scenario out of what we may be presented with. Sorry but we cannot just wiggle our noses and make our noisy kids go poof lol.

Kids personalities are all different. Some kids unfortunately do need a swat on the butt - when nothing else works. I don't think ALL kids benefit from this though. My parents spanked us and I can say that we aren't necessarily emotionally nor physically damaged, but my personal feelings about it are that there are other disciplinary measures in a good parent's arsenal that don't include physical punishment. Besides, it really goes backwards to teach your child 'we don't hit people' and then turn around and there goes mommy, HITTING her. I mean what else is she supposed to think? I'm sure that at some point I even yelled that at MY parents, here they were saying that 'decent people do not ever hit each other to get what they want' but then they just spanked my brother in front of me to stop him from doing something? Hmmmm. Yeah, my little mind at the time was all in an uproar about double standards and 'do as I say, not as I do' LOL! Anyway, I also agree that the environment now is different than it was when we were growing up. I am big on prevention rather than punishment. Guide your kids toward the correct behavior by either denying privelages or rewarding and if you start young, they will figure it out and learn quickly. Screaming and crying or giving an attitude here gets you NOTHING. My daughter is five and I will give her a warning - that if she stops immediately and apologizes to me for the tantrum or whining that she may have a second chance at whatever it was she was going to get or ask for, but if continued, I'd finish what I was doing and we'd simply leave. If it escalates from there, then it continues at home - that means at home where it's safe, she gets to play by herself and mommy isn't going to do anything for her - until she apologizes. This works on her rather well as she hates to be ignored and it seems to break her little heart if mommy doesn't look at or talk to her lol. This doesn't however seem to work on my son, who gets an attitude all the time whenever he's asked to do something he doesn't 'feel' like doing. Pardon me, sometimes I don't 'feel' like taking care of his lazy butt lol.

I totally agree with you, i too get irritated with such discussions. Kids are kids, and that's their way of getting things done. But parents can't always surrender at their yelling, they do sometimes like this, as they feel that in public their demands will be done, but sometimes its not possible and not good for them too.. Also when we do go out, kids to get tired ,and cranky sometimes,due to hunger or tierdness, or new enviornment, and even when we expect them to behave alllll the time. My kids are well behaved in the public, but i can understand the plight of other parents too, when kids yell or scream...Obviously those parents too do not love listening their own kids cry....

While I agree about starting discipline early, there are just situations which may be too much for even the most well behaved kid. It also depends on age, I cannot believe how many people expect a 2 year old to have the ability to SIT STILL or have the attention span of a teenager! Hello, a 2 year old is a little toddler. Most of them are not going to behave that well because they don't have the mental nor physical capacity to do that. All I can say to adults who are increasingly hard on kids and expect too much of them is that you should be grateful that YOUR parents allowed you to grow up and turn into such a crabby disgruntled adult lol.

Well, I agree with you, but I do think there are things that 2 year olds can do and that if there is no one teaching them at home, they will be behaving worse than teens-lol-but seriously, if one lets a kid do whatever they want, because we are assuming they are too little, they are not going to do what we want them to do in public. I used to take my kid when she was 2 to restaurants and I did not have a problem, there are five year old kids that can't even sit down for five minutes, so yes, each kid is different, I do not believe the problem is with parents that demand too much but parents who do not demand at all. On parents that demand too much, the problems show when the kids turn teens.lol

I think at two that you can teach and have the expectation that your child can use an inside voice, know how to ask you for what they want to eat (considering you have taken them to places like mcdonalds before) and sit in a booth or chair and eat their lunch - and not pull out the toy, etc until after they are done eating. I did teach my daughter this when she was little - by taking her to kid friendly places and exposing her to situations etc. However, at age two, her attention span was only so long. Adults can sit somewhere and gab and drink coffee for hours. Kids cannot deal with something like that. My daughter also learned early that you wipe your spot at the table and throw away your trash, that you don't put your shoes on the table, that you don't throw your jacket on the floor. Yes, some parents totally neglect teaching their kids the proper way to behave at restaurants, in public, etc but you still have to remember even if a child knows how to behave, they are not going to 100% every single time. I don't even know any ADULTS who behave correctly 100% of the time. If I'm having a bad day, I'll SECOND that comment. However, I get irritated at parents who 'never take their kids anywhere' who then go somewhere inappropriate, like a fancy steakhouse - with 3 children who therefore do not actually know how to behave because remember, their parents never take them anywhere - and then the parents freak out because the kids are acting atrocious, and other diners get angry because the kids are acting atrocious. Practice makes perfect, if you are unwilling to use normal situations to teach your children how to act correctly, then it's your fault when the kids freak out because they don't know any better! How is it fair to expect proper behavior from a child who has never been exposed to a situation before? It's not fair, and it's entirely the parent or guardian's fault.

That makes me sad too. The least that other people could have done was to be a little bit understanding. Crying or yelling kids are a TEMPORARY thing, just like the short period of time (that feels long) when your baby doesn't 'sleep like a baby' and is up every few hours so therefore you don't get any unbroken sleep for weeks lol. I've been in places where someone's baby is crying or their toddler is crying or restless and wants to get down and run around. It doesn't bother MY meal but I've been through that because I have a child. I UNDERSTAND how it just... IS. But it passes. I have never been somewhere where the kid screams for all of my meal. If a kid is screaming nonstop for an hour, then I admit there's a problem, but hmm, that has never happened!

My parish is a big church, over 1800 families, and every so often you get a screaming child just at the time when the priest is preaching...lol...sometimes the parents would take their child outside so as not disturb the priest or the other people..and I will always remember what the priest used to say to those who were walking out because of their children crying...He would stop what he was saying, and tell them over the microphone, "You don't have to leave, children are our gift from God, a cry is a welcoming sign that you child is healthy. Do not leave, because it does not bother me." I had much respect for this man because of that.

Though i am a mother of 2 well behaved kids in public...., i totally second you.. So very well written. My kids behave very well outside(infact better, as they enjoy outings), but still there are times when i can't do much than finish my work, or leave the stuff and run away back home. As i know they are NOT unnecessarily getting cranky, or i didn't disclipned them , or taught them bad manners.......

I agree with this too. I don't understand why some adults come UNGLUED and rant at YOU and express that instead of being calm and talking quietly to your child, that you SHOULD HAVE YELLED AT THEM OR SPANKED THEM IN PUBLIC! I hate it when people butt in with a comment like that! I don't spank my daughter, and if I did such a thing, I certainly would never do it in public, and I don't see a point really in screaming at her in public either, that would make ME even more wrong than she was lol. What I want more than anything is to see how people who make comments like that would actually parent a child (most of these people do not have kids, and it is my honest opinion that someone who claims they would parent this way shouldn't have kids because they'd be a failure and the kids would either be brats or abused severely) but I wouldn't wish that on any child, ugh! I actually have a few acquaintances who claim that they are heavy handed disciplinarians and they do spank and they do yell - ALL THE TIME. You know what? These kids are pretty good kids, BUT - they are constantly getting in trouble. They are constantly getting yelled at and spanked. I don't spank my daughter, I do yell sometimes when asking her nicely about something hasn't done the job after a few times, but she knows when my voice is raised, she better do it and quick. She knows the limits and she doesn't push them a lot unless she's really tired and hungry or sick or something. I have told these acquaintances that it's all well and good but I seem to have less trouble with my daughter than they do with their kids, and it COULD have something to do with our styles of discipline.

hi shhheila. That's a good point - brief and good. Yeah, both of us believed that when the scene occurred that day, the kid wasn't happy about something; I think it was the food because he kept saying "I don't want! I don't want" - the louder he cried, the more annoyed his mom looked but his grandparents were cool like nothing's happened - I guess they're more experienced people :) Yeah, what parents need is to pay attention to what the kids is saying but then, at times, we need to say NO to them, too.