what would you if you really want to get over someone???

As I read your articles. I don't know if you are blind loving that person. You say that he loves you but he always hurts you. Is that mean loves when you always hurt someone. What I know about love is that respect and cherish. Love is not giving you pain...love is so much affection and emphasize no pain that is love. I don't understand why some people like you being blind and doesn't know what love is all about. Just move on my friend. Do not be stayed in a relationship that really mess up your life...I will show what is the real love my friend...wake up...wake up...!!!

Okay, so is the guy still begging for your forgiveness? If you are confused with what is happening with your love life, you better take a break. Relationships can never be perfect, friend. We all have to accept that no matter how hard it is. From what you have said, i bet you want to give your ex a chance. But if i was in your place and i still have feelings for my ex, i would not look for a boyfriend. It will only hurt your current partner. You better decide from these two guys who is worth keeping.

You have to sit down and Really listen to your heart. if you want to go, then go. You can't change anyone. all you can do is support them when They decide to change. If being with your guy is too much work, then it is time to move on. But if you still love him even with all his baggage , then stay.You have to listen to your heart and follow what it tells you.

i hope you'd not be offended with what i'll say but i like hitting things bull's eye. if you're the type of person who doesn't put her best foot forward (who doesn't try her best) all the time then i'd suggest you take back this ex and leave your current bf. maybe he didn't try to woo you or love you properly then. who knows when he'd do this half-baked love on you again? in the end, you'd realize that you are only as good as the person you choose to end up with. if you think he is what you deserve then go for him once again. however, try to love a decent man first. you might end up laughing about this ex of yours in the future and ask yourself if that's what you think is the kind of person you deserve. peace

(Haven't read the rest of the responses yet, will do that after I post this) I don't think people can really change that quickly. He wants you back because he knows you're with someone. Men get jealous pretty easily, and that's what happened. If you're happy with this new guy, let that be your guide. Why would you dump a guy you're happy with, and go back to someone you were unhappy with? Of course you still love him, you spent 2.5 years with him, and some part of you might always love him. Many of my divorced friends still love their exes on some level. But they moved on to a relationship that was healthier for them. This ex-boyfriend is clearly not healthy for you. He won't find somebody *better* than you - just somebody who's willing to put up with his crap for longer than you did. :) Be strong!

At first, I trust it is hard to try to change a man. And I find that you are worried about if he will hurt you again. It is meaning that you can't trust him now. It is not your fault, but it will make you unhappy. I suggest you take a break with him, or don't see him for a time to think clamly. Maybe you will find out that you can have the better time when leaving him.

I have gone through the crap of "I still LOVE you, you are the best I have ever known. I've changed, take me back and I'll prove it to you". I did it with my ex husband, I returned from a vacation to Seattle, got out of the Taxi to a man bawling his eyes out that the Air Force is kicking him out and what is he going to do? I nearly turned around and got back in the cab and went back to the air port. I decided to go through with the reconciliation. Man was that a huge mistake. My ex got a job at a restaurant and I didn't have food in the house. He would come home nightly and tell me about the meals he had at work. The only thing that saved me after 7 days without food was I happened to find a dollar bill in an envelope that I was going to burn for heat in the house (the gas had been turned off because he didn't pay the gas bill). He never grew up and wanted me to be mommy, plus his claiming he changed was the biggest lie he'd ever told. I gave up a wonderful considerate loving man to return to the scum of the barrel. The second time was with a man that I was crazy about. I would have walked to the moon for him if he had asked me to. He dumped me on Christmas eve 1980. It took me a long time to get over him, but I found a man that was loving, gentle and very honest. He has been the man I have dreamed about for all of my life. I had settled into a life with this man when out of the blue the jerk that dumped me on Christmas eve called wanting to come back. The woman he married two months after we broke up divorced him and he "realized" that he loved me and wanted to make things work. He too said that he had changed. I decided that the man I had was preferable to one that had lied, cheated, treated me like crap and about broke his parents with his constant whining for loans to move and buy cars. I made the best decision I have ever made. You can still love a person, but that love isn't always the right thing to turn to. People will claim that they have changed, but it seldom remains that way. Stop and think about the fact that if you take him back there will be problems between you and your family. You will still be wondering if he is really trustworthy and honest. Do you really want a man in your life that will more than likely hurt you again? If you found the RIGHT guy, why screw up something wonderful by taking back someone who has had a track record of being untrustworthy and hurtful...not to mention vices that are very seldom given up. Wake up and realize that you have what you want and even though you may have been this guy's "best girlfriend" you apparently weren't best enough for him to want to hang on to you with both hands. Give the guy your forgiveness, but DON'T go back to him whatever you do. You'll open yourself to more lies, hurt, and pain. Stay with and don't wonder what might have been. Take the one who you have now and make a wonderful life with him...don't expect perfection, just learn to accept that we aren't perfect. You found the RIGHT GUY, DON'T GIVE UP THE LOSER FOR SOMEONE WHO IS RIGHT FOR YOU AND CARES ABOUT YOU FOR YOU AND WILL LOVE YOU AND CARE FOR YOU AS YOU ARE. Don't be dumb and fall for the I've changed line...you summed up everything in a few short lines, he's lied to you, your family hates him (probably for very good reasons), he's hurt you, broken promises and who knows what else. Don't be as stupid as I was and go back. They seldom change and sometimes if they do it isn't for the better. Why go back to something where you can't trust the man you're with? Don't chose him again, and let him find someone else (not necessarily "better than" you. What makes you think you're not the best?) Get a grip on your self esteem, you need to realize that you are the best you that you can be. There isn't anyone better than you, and there never will be. So, keep the guy you're with and kick the other guy to the curb. It might sound a little hard hearted, but I assure you I have had the experience that had me to the point of being flat footed and heard hearted. Take care of you and don't worry about the ex.

I think it really depends on what he has done over these two and a half years to be honest. Weighing up the pro's and the con's will do nothing, because by the end of it, you'll still have these pro's and con's. Sometimes its better to live without the person, don't be blinded by what he is saying, but if you're one of these forgiving people and you truly thing he has changed, then maybe he does deserve another chance. Me personally though, i am not an easy forgiver, depending on what the person has done. If "I" were you, i'd just cut him out of my life completely.

Sounds like this guy is a real loser. No one can tell you what to do, but if he hadn't changed in all that time, why will he now? You deserve to be treated with respect. Usually, if families don't like someone that you are dating, there is a good reason. Sounds like your family is right on target and you should stick with the one that treats you with a lot of respect instead of the one that treats you like junk. It's really up to you, do you like being treated like a treasure or treated like a piece of scrappy junk?

It's hard but remember to love yourself, too. The simpliest thing to do is to let go of the things that makes you sad. How? by not minding anything that is connected to him. Of course, its hard to forget him because you've been with him for more than two years but you already turned back. You did your first step. Move along. Things will be better. Just keep moving on.

Sounds like a guy I spent a year of my life with. It only took 2 weeks to get my first bouquet of what I call "!@#&! - up roses ". I should have dropped him then & there but he kept on coming back. That was the first of many, many bouquets ! I had enough flowers to fill a cemetary. After a year I finally threw him out for the last time. He was pretty bad. I won't go into detail- too many stories to tell. Not wanting even to stay in my own home with the memories, I went out & bought a new living room set hoping to change the atmosphere. When that didn't do the trick, I sold my house. Yep. Drastic I know, but I really couldn't stay there. Someone once told me something that makes perfect sense. It's that a cheater needs someone to cheat on. If there's no one to cheat on, it removes all the power of cheating. Cheating is a power trip & cheaters seldom change. Cheaters always have someone by their side for this reason. My advice is to move on.

I think its unfair for you to commit yourself to another person when you are not sure that you got over your last relationship... Getting over a more than 2 years relationship is not easy and you don't have to rush either. Give yourself time to undergo the process. This process will enable you to give wiser judgment to your next decision. On the other hand, your former boyfriend needs a lot of learning and thinking to do. Even if we love a person, we cannot change for them. They need to do it by themselves. All we can do is let them know that we are with them and support them. And they also need time. I know, in this world of instant things we often become impatient and want answers as fast as we can. But sorry, life is a lot of processes and if we are willing, we can find that it is all worth it!

time will tell. i think you two should be friends again, because i doubt one day of asking forgiveness won't work. just give time for him to make up for himself. for now, enjoy your relationship with your new boyfriend, to see if he's better than your previous boyfriend. it's competition, but you decide because this x of yours just took you for granted.

I would do this: 1. Eat a lot of chocolate. 2. Read books (nice racy ones) 3. Make more friends and go out every day, night. 4. Get tired and sleep like a doog. 5. Focus on my work (for a change) 6. Get a new b/f and show off.

I have been there in certain ways. Trust me it's no fun to deal with someone who hurts you, and especially not fun to deal with someone that your family doesn't like or approve of. Of course some families are real sticklers and may not like someone because age, race, or the background they came from isn't good enough, and these are not good reasons to not like your sons or daughters boyfriend or girlfriend, but in my experience most of the time my parents and family were right. There was a reason that they didn't like the person, and it had nothing to do with her, it had to do with me. My family and close friends saw that she could not make me as happy as I deserved and that I wasn't treated with the respect I deserved, and it was just wrong to be constantly lied to and put through some of the things I was. Now that I have moved on and found someone who is awesome, I can look back and see that my family was right, but unfortunately at the time we often suffer from "love blindness" where we think we are supposed to be with that person and just can't see life any other way. I can also tell you the only real thing that is going to get you over him is time. Don't try to rush into anything new because we all need time for adjustment, and more so take some time for yourself. If you want to get close with a new guy then go for it, but try not to take things too seriously, the new guy may be your soulmate, but it's probably still too early for you to know that. Give yourself some time to adjust to the present and look at your life and what you want out of it, and make sure you are getting what you deserve, and unless your family are a bunch of bigots, go to them and ask them why they didn't like your ex and maybe you will find yourself agreeing with them and knowing they only want what's best for you.

Hello Jen, well finally you have come into your senses. Leaving one left behind with a doubt will hunt you. But please move on with your new bf and don't even think to go back with your past. I do believe that a person who chooses to live in the past will never see his or her future. I guess it ended up well with your ex. Besides, as what you have said, i can understand that there are more consequences than pros going back to your ex, so never ever do that again or else, you will still have to regret. I am not against your ex, but you knew him very well and your parents don't even like him, so what's the point of staying with him when you will get hurt again and again. Give your new bf a chance to prove himself better than your ex. In fact develop more communication with your future, not your past.

Hello Jen, Always remember that,in a relationship,it needs two people to make things work out.No matter how you tried to save your relationship if he is not cooperating,it's all useless dear. You said,you been hurt and had enough.Then why hurt yourself again and again with promises that are always made to be broken. You don't need a promise of love...you need a someone who can commit himself to you and made compromise till life. Have a good day friend.

According to my feeling it's hard to get the right feeling back if you and your ex come back together. Time will change everything . Yeah he might be much better and still loves you but what about you ? still loves him ? No shadow indeed ? What about your new friend ?

Sometimes things like this is easier said than done. As much as a lot of girls want to forget ex-boyfriends that had hurt us, we just can't seem to completely forget them. I know what you mean though because I had the same experience a few years ago. I was in a relationship with my very first boyfriend but then in the end, both of us decided to separate. Even though it was a mutual decision, he later came back and wanted to get together again. During the time that we were separated, it really hurt me a lot, it was for the best but I just couldn't seem to get past it. Finally for a while, with my friends encouragement, I finally started to get along with my own life. But just as I was finally ok, he came back into my life and the hurt came back because I realized like you that I still really loved him but I just can't risk being together with him anymore. If being apart is best for you than you have to be strong!

when you are going through a break up i think it is helpful to focus on the reasons why you didn't work out as a couple. as time goes on you begin to miss certain things and if you let yourself then it is easy to forget all of the reasons why you broke up in the first place. of course he is begging for you back... you were probably the best thing that ever happened to him. let him suffer and maybe he'll learn from his mistakes and treat his next girlfriend better. just remember couples that break up and get back together usually always break up again!