Just Can't Take it Again!

I feel for you. We used to have a little girl that stayed with us and she had the wildest hair you could imagine. She also would throw a fit every morning till we worked out a solution. I'd get her up, wet her hair, put anti-tangle spray stuff in it, and then use a pick to get the bigger knots out. More anti-tangle spray and then I'd brush it and either braid it or do it in a pony tail. Our deal was if she'd suffer through it for the week for school on the weekends she could do whatever she wanted with it. All weekend she'd let it go wild...it was really fun for her, a break for me and she was beutiful even when she looked "wild". I hope that if you decide to cut it that your daughter agrees with it b/c forcing her to do it if she doesn't want to will only make it worse. I wish you luck with it. BTW, I'm adding a pic of the little "wild child" we used to have. I heard her new family cut it all off [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]

Okay my friend. Here's my immediate reaction. "BEEN THERE...done that." I go thru this with mini-me still...and she's almost 13 but she's the one who has to go thru the pain of combing/brushing thru her tangled hair. I'm not condoning that Little ms. Bytemi hit you but the last thing you should do is go home and cut her hair into a different style without talking about it with her first. She will likely take that as punishment just as shaving her head would. It's clear that her hair isn't being brushed often enough...and I highly recommend brushing when she gets home from camp/school or before bed--and keeping it in a scrunchie or some sort of rubber band. The tangles get worse when they sleep...I have to do the same thing for myself b/c I am also very tender-headed. so, in short, tonight, wash her hair, detangle with the conditioner still in it....get the tangles out and put her hair up at night. See if that makes a difference. She should also start being the one for "attempting" to do her own hair...I think age 5 is old enough to at least start learning that responsibility. ;)

I know how you feel. I've been struggling with my 4 year old about everything since she was 2. She used to twist her hair around her finger till it was tight then pull her finger down out and make a knot. Her sisters hair used to get pretty knotted after sleeping when it was long. I took them both to get hair cuts and got it cut up to their chins. They looked really cute and it was the end of both problems. I think a hair cut would be a good idea.

Gosh, I understand those days when you just can't take it and start yelling and saying things you normally wouldn't and then you are sick about it. They really don't understand that it is an accumulation of frustration day after day and they do take it to heart. If you are determined to cut her hair I would wait a week or so and then you can approach it in a more positive way so it does not seem like a punishment. If you did it now you might send a message that "she is not allowed to cry when she is hurting or uncomfortable" and she is not allowed to let you know when something you are doing is uncomfortable. Yes she hit you but think about why a lot of toddlers bite, it is out of frustration the same way you were frustrated but they do not know another way to resolve the situation,crying, yelling and screaming was not working for her, it hurt she didn't know what else to do. I am not saying that this was acceptable but it is kind of understandable if you put yourself in her place. If someone was causing you discomfort and you yelled screamed and cried and they continued what would you do? Please don't think I think you were causing her pain by brushing her hair but it was discomfort to her. If you wish to cut her hair in a week or so, a positive approach would be to say to her "You know when mommy was your age I had the exact same hair as you and I know how much it hurt when my mom brushed it and then I got my hair cut shorter and it felt soooo much better when it was brushed and not only that it looked soooo beautiful!" but don't forget short hair can get pretty Knotty too. A friend of mine had that problem when she was a teenager and she went out and got horse and mane shampoo and conditioner - no lie it made her hair so soft and shiny and beautiful I went out and bought it! The only problem is my hair is fine and it made my hair sooooo soft I couldn't even put it up in a pony tail! Best of luck and don't beat yourself up about losing your patience, we are mothers and we are human, it happens if it didn't happen every now and then they would have to lock us up in institutions :)

Though long hair is nioce to look at children but when there's problem like this, cutting it short would be the solution. Much better if she would understand why it was cut short at least she won't get disappointed in case she loves her long hair. Should she refused then you'll have an agreement not to cut her hair short but she would allow you to brush it every morning. You may try this, my mom used to do this with my hair during my childhood, apply little coconut cream with lemon before taking her a bath. Just rinse it well.

My daughter is six years old, we went on Friday to get her hair cut to start the school year. She decided to take her hair from midway down her back all the way up to hitting her cheeks. It looks so cute and, believe it or not, it really has helped with the tangle problems already. She actually says that she prefers her hair short because it is a lot easier to brush. It is easier to brush, it is just easier for her in general. Your daughter may feel like it is a punishment at first, but she will probably grow to love it. Not only is it easier to take care of, it will also make her look older.

hello, lolz... when you said you will shave her hair, it makes me want to laugh cuz you make her think it is going to be real. lolz. My daughter, she is 4 and her hair is hard to brush and everytime I fix her hair, she turns every direction. I always talk loud to her everytime I fix her hair. My husband always complain that I always give her a hard time everytime I comb her hair. I said, of course cuz she won't stay still. Now, I just tell her to stay still otherwise I will knock her head. One day She still did and I knocked her head so hard and made her cry, I felt so bad when I did it. But it works tho, she scare that I will knock her head again... so she stay still. sometimes I just want to cut her hair cuz it is hard to comb sometimes. So, try to talk to her and give her some reward if you can... sometimes she doesn't like the way you do it to do... try something else... such as, ask her to sit down and let her watch her favorite cartoon while you are doing her hair.

Well, I realize this is an older thread but I want to offer my two cents. I probably am not familiar with this level of frustration with this topic BECAUSE my daughter doesn't do this. She has long hair. She helps take care of it though and I have always always bathed her or given her a shower daily, we have super moisturizing shampoo and conditioner, plus I have detangler spray. I don't brush it when it's dry and I use a little product to keep it from frizzing or staticking. I think part of the problem is your daughter's attitude towards her own hair. I guess if she does not care at all, then it's not really a punishment, is it? Did she ever once beg you not to cut her hair off? Also, is her hair especially thick and curly/tangle easily? It is really so much easier to brush when it's wet, conditioned, etc. I cannot imagine trying to brush most little kids' hair if it's knotted up and tangled and DRY. No wonder they run screaming. I used to run screaming too until my mom started getting it wet and using detangler lol.

i think a shorter hair style is the answer but as long as you sit her down and explain to her that you have found a solution to the daily problem of brushing her hair and that it is in no way a punishment. also you will need to apologize for your outburst so you can teach her that we all lose it sometimes and that we say things we do not mean and that we are sorry and will try hard not to do it again. it shows them you are human and get stressed just like they do and that despite all of that you still love her dearly and want to get past the incident. you are human. you are a parent. the hardest, most rewarding job in the world. take a deep breath and give yourself a break. i know you feel bad but children are so resilient and forgiving.

Both my step sister and my real sister have had these kind of problems. Thats why my parents buy hair detangling formula's. They tend to work well. I think its like a conditioner in a bottle which softens the hair to allow a brush to pass through easily. You could look into that.

When you brush her hair you should start at the bottom and work your way up. Also, you could give her a small brush and show her how to brush her own hair from the bottom up until she reaches the top. Give her something special every time she gets it right. Then, as she is brushing it so much to get that special thing she is making easier for you by taking out most of the tangles. Also, the detangle spray no more tears for kids is great. And, you can also try detangle shampoo & conditioner. My daughter christy has very long hair and I had to go through that for years I did not cut her hair and she thanks me for it because she loves her hair. Good luck and just let her works on it while she is watching t.v. or in her room or what ever free time she has. Let her earn that special treat and you get easier hair to comb. **Peace and Love get's you through everything in Live**

try this be cool w/ her, talk to her about something that you know will put her on a light mood. praise her about something what she did before sleeping , that she look really beautiful this morning any kindness she did, just anything (if your not used to appreciating her you have to start now,if you want to find her agreeing w/ you in the future) tlak her to topics you know she likes will make her smile then slowly work on her hair. talk to her about anything while working on her hair ,do not irritate her ,only on topics you will both agree, even cause you to giggle together, laugh together,but never mention about what you are doing on her hair.if she says no, don't answer, remind her of something that will make her smile ,laugh or anything that will divert her attention from her hair .when you're done ,get her to face you and tell her she's the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world! appreciate her the whole day again. do the same everyday and your relationship will change. parents as we are ,there are things we have to learn and unlearn. happy parenting!

your child is still little kid, in her eyes still pure eyes, no guilty, so i guess you should talk to her as your age same like her, be as like kindergarden teacher. I have two little kids, first ( 7yo ) second( 4 yo ) before my first kid go into a kindergarden, i was like you, my kids must doing what i order to do, i never listen what my kids want/willing. almost every day i yell at them, they crying like your daughter. But after my first kid enter to kindergarden i learn very much with teachers in there how manage difficult children. How to manage our anger. So, i always talk with my kids as their friend, talk with my kids as my age as same as them, just listen to them, they have something to hear even their age still small. If you thing you want to cut your daughter hair, so tell her a beutiful imagine ( maybe:tell her "if you cut your beutiful hair, when already long hair, you will have more beutiful hair like princess cinderella). give a good sweet talk to her that make the cut hair is not punishment in her eyes.

I think that is a good idea to have your daughter's hair cut,kids do not stay too long hair,wash hair is more trouble.

apparently i was the same way when i was young. i had waist length hair when i was about 8 and my mom and i used to get into a fight every day when she went to brush my hair (of course, i dont remember this at all!) but she got it cut.

How long is her hair? If you feel bad about cutting her hair short, ask the hairdresser to just cut the knots and don't keep it short. Just keep it like slightly above the shoulders or barely. Hair of that length tend to be pretty manageable..

Hi there... I don't have a little girl, but my BF does and she keeps her hair long... The detangler spray works great and she usually braids her daughter's hair at night. She doesn't use clips, elastics or anything and it's not all combed perfectly either... She just gathers it up and free braids it and puts a small cotton band at the end. It's very loose and free so that it doesn't pull at night... Then in the morning, she unbraids in from the bottom up... That's really important - the bottom up method. Also, try using a wide toothed comb or even a pick. Hope this helps!

Long hair on a screaming 5 year old litte girl is bringing misery to both of you and pain to your daughter. If the detanglers aren't working and your threats are scaring her, I think a shorter haircut could save the day. I work at an elementary school, where I see little girls every morning getting out of their parents' cars with tangled hair and frustrated mother. On the other hand I see little girls with nice short haircuts and happy faces, and smiling moms. You have to be the peace maker here, not the frustrated screaming mommy

I think the shorter hairstyle would be the answer. However, I do think that you should explain to her why her hair will be cut. Does she like having her hair long? If so, maybe you can tell her that in order to keep her hair long, she needs to be coopertive when you or daddy comb it. Otherwise, you will have to cut it short. A friend of mine had a similar problem with her daughter, but her daughter didn't want her hair cut short, she wanted to keep it long. So for them, explaining that she needed to cooperate when it came time to brush her hair made a huge difference for them. Hope that helps, and good luck!

Yeah I can understand it can be a little frustrating. I have a little girl and she cries when I get the comb or brush. I don't even have to touch her, but the funny thing is she get the brush by herself and brush.Hum. My parents told me I use to be the same and I grew out of it. Another thing it could be her scalp is a little tender so maybe check that out what they recommend. For your 5 yr old, you are the adult so you have the responsibility for her hair so if you think shorter is better for you go for it. When she get older she can be responsible for her hair.Good luck.