What possess our kids
By Bytemi
@Bytemi (1553)
United States
August 31, 2009 7:20am CST
This is the grossest thing I have ever posted on Mylot and if you have a weak stomach stop reading now.
My step daughter stays with my husband and I every other weekend for two weeks during the summer. When my husband and I started dating she step on an air mattress in the corner of his bedroom (she was 7 at the time) and she carried a little red suitcase with her to school every other Friday.
After a year of dating my now husband and I decided to buy a house. I explained to him the importance of giving his daughter her own space and that we should buy her cloths so she doesn’t have to bring a suitcase, it will make her feel like she belongs. He agreed and that is what we did.
It has been 4 years now and we have gotten married and the she was in the wedding and I thought everything was great. For Fathers Day I had a book published with my husband and his daughter that his ex-wife helped me with. I promised his ex, I would order an extra book for her too. I found our yesterday that my step daughter never gave her the book, it is in her closet someplace.
So when I got home against Mr. Bytemi’s suggestion, he told me that it was cluttered and it would drive me crazy, I went into her closet. It was not clutter that I found. It was trash. Old Propel bottles, food wrappers, bowls, plates, cloths, to toys, it was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. It was a 3 feet pile of trash in her closet. I was grossed out and went and got Mr. Bytemi to show him. He said he had no idea and called and asked her what possessed her to do that and she did not have a comment. She is now 12 and should definitely know better.
I just can’t believe that she thinks so little of us and our house that she would do something like this.
Would you call her mother and tell her? Would you take this personally? How would you handle this situation?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@MizzWilliams33 (74)
• United States
31 Aug 09
First, I wouldn't take it personally. Lil MizzWilliams is guilty of the same behaviors sometimes. But because I've always been aware of her tendency to be lazy in regard to cleaning, i just have a habit of staying on top of it so it doesn't get too out of hand. Now that YOU're aware of it, you can stay on top of your step-daughter's room too. I'm just shocked that you haven't seen any of this in the 4 yrs she's had her own room in your home, you never looked in there to see what was going on.
I would mention it to her mother simply to find out if she has similar issues w/her at home (I guarantee you that she will deny it---I know how she can be about "do no wrong") But then again, because of how her mom can be---its possible that perhaps your step-daughter is acting out b/c she's getting access to things that maybe she's not allowed to have at home w/her own mother. Just a thought...
But I would talk to your step-daughter about the importance of taking responsibilty of your own messes and how bugs and bacteria will develop...making it less about HER and HER behavior...and more about the effects it can have in your home (and especially her room)...she might not get too defensive and ya'll can keep peace.
1 person likes this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
31 Aug 09
I go in her room all the time. She has a huge walk in closet and the door is always closed, I do not snoop or intrude on her privacy. Her room is spotless, everything is put away and organzied. I just don't understand the throwing dirty dishes and wrappers and bottles in her closet along with the cloths and your toys. It is more than just a cluttered bedroom, it is unsanatary.
@MizzWilliams33 (74)
• United States
31 Aug 09
I totally agree. it is unsanitary and that is what she needs to understand...but i wouldn't judge her so harshly for it. there's something underlying and I am betting the bank that it's because her mom is so strict and uptight--this is a way for her to act out. As far as looking in her closet....that isn't intruding on her privacy....that is YOUR HOUSE. I didn't say go thru each drawer or item of clothing...but a quick look now and then is something all parents need to do---otherwise they have their heads in the sand about what their kids may really be up to without their knowledge.
1 person likes this
@Nardz13 (5055)
• New Zealand
31 Aug 09
Hi there. Yes some of us do know what teenagers are like and the difficulties they are faced with as teenagers, but then there no excuse for piling rubbish upon rubbish , dirty plates and bowls up and stashing them away in the wardrobe either. I think you have a right to feel upset about it, having had her in and out of your home, seems like this girl does not know much about hygiene, and respect for other peoples property as well as for herself. You do what you feel is right. You could try find out without judging her, if shes really okay, she may need help, there could be a real issue shes struggling to deal with, or plain educating on the importance of hygiene, what ever it is, its obvious somethings not right, I hope things work out well soon for you guys. Have an awesome day....
1 person likes this
@EnglishTeaDuck (862)
• United States
1 Sep 09
If you don't mind me asking, she doesn't have any sort of issue with food, does she?
I ask because I had an eating disorder,bulimia, for 12 years, and I would hide food wrappers etc in my closet because if I'd put them in the trash my mother would have seen the amount of food. Thats pretty common for the disease.
I don't want to put suspicion where there may be no need, just a thought, which may be a possibility if you see any other evidence to suggest it.
@Hippie_Ashley (81)
• United States
31 Aug 09
A lot of people live like that. Watch A&E they have a show called Hoarders and that little bit of trash is nothing compared to what some of those people live in. It's a mental issue that needs to be worked out, can't let go of some things, people have a strange attachment to them.
@moneymakingtoday (4061)
• Philippines
1 Sep 09
well, my oldest son's room is a mess but my daughter's is always tidy. yes, i would like to tell her mom about this .... in a nice manner. i am sure she will understand.
@gracefuldove (1668)
• Malaysia
31 Aug 09
I guess it is a matter of upbringing. I am not faulting anyone. To me, if parents show discipline, it will rub off on the child over time. They will know what is expected decorum in the house and know how to behave. In this case, I guess it is better to have a quiet but firm talk with this stepdaughter. Tell her about the things that are not right and ask for her cooperation to keep the house clean. As far as the book is concerned, you can just drop by your husband ex's place and give her an autographed copy.
