Going to a Stupid Wedding tomorrow
By cynthiann
@cynthiann (18602)
Jamaica
September 11, 2009 5:17pm CST
It really is stupid. The bride has hounded the parents for a big show wedding and they are retired. It is a great financial strain on them.
Why does she have to have it all and not be satisfied? The wanna be husband does not have a job and there are no unemployment benefits in this country. Everyone is completely broke and the wanna be bride has asked her hairdresser to wait for the money. 
To top that she asked my daughter to buy her a bra for the wedding day! Can you believe it? She asked one of her aunt's to pay for the flowers in the Church and it was $30,000.00 NOT US dollars but it is still a whole lot of money in any currency. The Aunt freaked out. Why go to all of this fuss during mega recession? 
It beats me.
They spend one night at the hotel where the reception will be and then go home and live as they have been doing for 2 years with the bride's parents!
I really do not want to attend but have to as my daughter's fiance's relatives are also invited and they all want TO MEET ME! HOW STRESSFUL IS THAT? THEY ALL WANT TO CHECK ME OUT. Ah well, back on Sunday. Bye bye!
Would you go to these lengths and get yourself in mega debt for your wedding day?
To top that she asked my daughter to buy her a bra for the wedding day! Can you believe it? She asked one of her aunt's to pay for the flowers in the Church and it was $30,000.00 NOT US dollars but it is still a whole lot of money in any currency. The Aunt freaked out. Why go to all of this fuss during mega recession? It beats me.
They spend one night at the hotel where the reception will be and then go home and live as they have been doing for 2 years with the bride's parents!
I really do not want to attend but have to as my daughter's fiance's relatives are also invited and they all want TO MEET ME! HOW STRESSFUL IS THAT? THEY ALL WANT TO CHECK ME OUT. Ah well, back on Sunday. Bye bye!
Would you go to these lengths and get yourself in mega debt for your wedding day?8 people like this
26 responses
@moneymakingtoday (4061)
• Philippines
11 Sep 09
some people just want to "belong", might also be "show-offs".
i am glad we avoid doing that. showing off today just to look rich and "can afford" for other people and no food on the table for the rest of our lives?
i have taught my children how to live frugally. we enjoy some of life's amenities sometimes but we take care of the basic priorities first.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Sep 09
hi cynthiann in this bad economy when everyone is out of work and
'tthere arent many jobs, why spend money you dont have on a fancy wedding then get divorced twoyears later? My husband and i were married for 43 years we had a church wedding but only I and my husband and the minister plus the organist and her husband were the
only ones there. it cost us maybe all told for clothes , minister and organist maybe one hundred dollars and we were happy and we lived a wonderful marriage. it can be done cheaply if one knows how.
4 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
11 Sep 09
My wedding was really frugal and Imade my own wedding dress. we ust wantd peole ther who loved us and wished us well. I had a few of th trimmings and got married in Church but no decorations of the Church etc. My family did the catering
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
13 Sep 09
Did you get that photo I sent to you showing the head table?
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
11 Sep 09
My husband's sister got married around the same time hubby and I began dating... a little over 8 years ago. She had her wedding at this fancy church in this really uppity town. Everyone in this town has money and look down on anyone who doesn't have money. Honestly, we walked through the town last week and shop keepers were treating us like dirt because obviously we can't afford to buy their stuff. Anyways, this is where she chose to have her wedding and reception. We walked past the place where the reception had been held, and hubby reminded me that's where she'd had it (I didn't attend). I commented that the place didn't look all that special, just obviously pricey. I commented that had I had a reception or traditional wedding I would have picked a place because I liked it, not because I wanted to show off how much money I could spend, which is basically what SIL did. They put themselves into major debt to get married, just so she could show off how much money they could spend... she's like that.
Oh, needless to say they were divorced within 5 years.
3 people like this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
11 Sep 09
I would have taken the house... but that's me. I got married at a court house. Nothing special at all. I would have liked something a little better, but was never expecting anything huge or fancy at all.
3 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
11 Sep 09
One day, you can plan to have your vows renewed and then invite some close friends and family to attend. Yep, she turned down the offer of the big deposit on a house. and then a year later had the nerve to ask her parents for the down payment. They do not trust the husband so when she had the second child they did buy a house for her but it is in their name only until they pass on and it will be given to the daughter. so she has really lucked out. This bride's father has the same medical conditioning developing that killed my husband. It is an expensive treatment and they need what money they have for his health. She is sickening. That is my opinion and this is why I really do not want to go but will go because of Rachel.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
11 Sep 09
What a great response Kat. I just loved the punchline! I had a friend whose daughter ws pregnant MArried. Her parents were comfortably off AND SAID THAT SHE COULD HAVE THE BIG WEDDING WITH ALL OF THE TRIMMINGS OR THEY WOULD PUT A GOOD SIZED DEPOSIT ON A HOUSE. SHE CHOSE THE WEDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
13 Sep 09
Nor would I. My daughter is getting married next year ans I am a widow who put her through university and she has no school debt. I also helped her achieve her Master's degree. I have told her that I will buy her dress and if any money is available then I will help in other ways. I cannot afford to get into debt over my daughter's wedding. The difference here is that she would not ask me to get into debt and neither would her fiancee
@malamar (779)
• Canada
15 Sep 09
How did that little girl get to be a "spoiled brat"? Brat's aren't born; they are raised. A good lesson here for parents everywhere.
Congrats Cynthiann for raising a child who wouldn't even think to ask for that extravagant circus. It speaks volumes of your parenting skills. Anyone who has an adult spoiled brat has made some major mistakes along the way. Not to insult anyone, but just saying....
1 person likes this
@prinzcy (32305)
• Malaysia
11 Sep 09
It's true that marriage is one of a big event in life and should have a big celebration. But if someone want to get married, he/she need to prepare not just mentally but also FINANCIALLY. To burden someone else especially during this recession period is a sign of not being ready. Plus, she asked too much. $30,000.00 for flowers! (my mom would definitely freak out even though the amount was not in US Dollars)
4 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
11 Sep 09
The flowers would be about $400 US dollars but that is a lot of money in my country. She is full of show. If it wasn't because of my daughter then I would not be going. She wants me to meet her fiance's relatives that I have not met before.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
14 Sep 09
Wow. Just wow. This doesn't seem like a healthy way to start off a marriage - it seems very stressful.
My wedding was a bit bigger than I might have liked, but most of the people we invited were relatives. My parents paid for a bunch of things, my husband's parents paid for some things, and we paid for the small things. Including everything, we spent about US$9,000
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
14 Sep 09
That is a lot of money but you did not start off life in debt and that is so good. Blessings
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
14 Sep 09
30,000 for flowers is overboard, even here
maybe 30,000 for everything that makes sense
they can even go with artificials for decoration purpose and showering the bride
I won't spend that much for my wedding day
I don't mind 30,000 for everything but only flowers? yikes!!
I'm not a flower person anyway. I don't mind receiving now and then but I'd rather something that won't die the next 3 days or go down the toilet the next day
a photo will be nice, or going to the zoo see some bears...
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
14 Sep 09
It is not S dollars but a whoile lot of dsollars in anyone's currency. she had red bud roses all the way! They do not last in our heat.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
13 Sep 09
You know I wouldn't Cynthiann! Cheaper the better, I mean sure it's going to special and to a certain effect you should go all out, but that doesn't mean throwing away other people's money or your own. Well, that was a bit confusing but I got what you meant by your daughter's fiance's relatives. Your going to meet the in laws, sure that will be a bit stressful in and of itself. It was for me the first time, though I guess it's different when it's not really your inlaws inlaws... lol Did that make sense? Hope you made the best of it anyway.
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
13 Sep 09
It sounds like they are a very lovely family! To make you feel welcome, they are very kind people indeed! I'm definitely looking for that discussion your talking about it!
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
14 Sep 09
I can understand that, going in debt for a wedding is silly if you ask me... Not when lavish things can be bought cheaply or not at all. I feel like this, God doesn't care what the ceremony looks like... Ya know? Your Daughter's friend (?) asking her parents and relatives and friends to pay for the wedding... I mean, that was wrong... especially if the wedding was as grandeur as you made it seem.
My fiance and I are, as well as his parents are paying for our wedding... But it's rounding to about $2000... We have the intention of paying his parents back in anyway we can... They've helped pay for things that we couldn't afford, and for that we are greatful... But nothing is too spectacular. I'll Have to post a picture or two of what things looked like!
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
13 Sep 09
My daughter's fiance comes from a very large and close knot family. I had met his mother and father and had them for dinner etc but as they live about 3 hours drive away from me I had not met the other relatives. It was good to meet them and know and see how much they love my daughter. They made me very welcome and it was special in that regard. am posting again on it. You will never believe what happened.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
14 Sep 09
no ma'am, i would not get myself in debt for anyone's wedding. i think that is a very stupid thing to do. I don't think anyone should go into debt for anything as frivolous as a big weeding. Half the time here they don't work out & all that is a bunch of hoopla for show. i think she is a very selfish, uncaring person to insist her parents do that to start with. SApending all that money doesn't make them any more married than a justice of the peace would have done at the courthouse. I hope rachel doesn't have to have much dealings w/her.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
14 Sep 09
She sounds like a very selfish young lady. I would have been ashamed of the way she cated if i was the groom & her family. That's terrible yo be drunk on such a special day.
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
14 Sep 09
She is a first class you know what. No, her brother knows her well. The rest of th family are really wonderful and they all came to me and said how much they love my daughter and approve of th match. Many offered their help for table decorations etc when my daughter does gt married - hopefully next year.
1 person likes this
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 09
When I read the title of the discussion I thought you were a cynical person, but when I read the whole story, I agreed with you. This is a stupid wedding. I mean, it happens in my country as well, and not only one person does that. Many person do that. Want to be seen as someone rich or, at least, listed in the 'the have' list they borrow money from neighborhood just to celebrate the exquisite wedding.
Well, if they're megamillionaire then go ahead. Even they don't know what to eat for tomorrow, but they really want to have something big for the wedding. I know that would just happen once in a lifetime, but please, be rational.
I hope you're having a good time in the mega wedding.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
11 Sep 09
why I am cross is because her father has a health condition that my lat husband had and this is putting too much stress on him. He needs to have the money to look after his own health. She is stupid and spoilt and cannot care for her parents. she has tantrums and screams until she gets the to agree with her. It is a terrible sacrifice that they are making and then to have them to live with them permanently? W3hat a hell~!
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
11 Sep 09
I like being single, myself, although I do want to date.
No, I sure wouldn't go these lengths for my wedding day! Like you said, I think it's just stupid! This girl must be rotten to the core! I don't know why some people want to spend so much on a little ceremony that doesn't even last any longer than five minutes! If they want to get married, all they have to do is go to the Justice Of The Peace and get it over with.
I'd hate to have to go to a wedding just so people can check me out so I know how you feel. I at least hope the wedding goes all right, anyway. Kathy.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
13 Sep 09
I will post on the wedding! That is a story! Her father is really not well and she is spoilt rotten!
@UmiNoor (4523)
• Malaysia
12 Sep 09
I don't like the bride already from the picture you paint of her. She's like a spoilt brat. Instead of having a blissful marriage. She'll start her marriage with tons of unpaid debts. What a way to start a life! I pity her retired parents. If she pays for everything then it's okay to have a big, mega wedding. But she's like practically begging everyone for a handout.
3 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
13 Sep 09
She did beg everyone for a handout - all her relatives helped for the event of the year. I am sorry for her father - he is not well at all.
• United States
12 Sep 09
That's crazy you shouldn't marry until you're stable and make money her husband needs to stop being a lazy bum and help out.
3 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
13 Sep 09
It is better to start out life debt free and not to put a burden on your parents.
@silverglint (2000)
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
I don't think that going into debt for a wedding celebration is proper. If they really wanted a big celebration then they should have saved up for it and not use her parents' funds. Plus it is more practical to have a simple wedding ceremony because it is the joining together of the two couple before witnesses that is important and not really how expensive the food was or how many people were invited. The truth is, the people that really matters are the immediate family of the bridge and groom. And how come the guy has the guts to get married if he doesn't have work and can't provide for the bride?? Why should the bride or the bride's parents be the ones to spend? it that how it is really suppose to be?
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
13 Sep 09
I gather that he has been out of work for 2 years and is living at the parent's house. Unbelievable!
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
12 Sep 09
That bride has some gaul to ask such things of people. I dunno I've heard of extravagant weddings but when you haven't a dime to ones name how day she request such expense?!??! Shame on her! We were both working full time when I got married we paid for all the expensive stuff. Our parents put out a total of $500 tops and that was just for the cake & food & my friend from school her parents did the cooking of the food that wasn't already prepared in trays for that I've been forever thankful. My whole wedding cost 1/6 of her flowers provided that was in US dollars. I didn't even have flowers in our church, shoot I was disappointed not very many showed up for the ceremony.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
13 Sep 09
I'm wondering if she plans now to have a baby and her her mother take care of it whilst she is at work. She has no desire to leave her parent's home. My wedding was simple too. Catered my friends and family.
@mcelhenney (481)
• United States
12 Sep 09
You are so right..The bride is only interested in her wants and has no concerns for her parents what-so-ever..YOU SAY they have been living together for two years..Why does she want a big wedding" Who has been supporting them for these two years..They should pay for the wedding and not ask any one to pay for any thing..The parents should refuse to pay for any thing..They should refuse to support the wanna be husband..Does the wanna be bride work?She has no respect for her parents.If she did she would not put such a burden on them.No I would not put myself or my parents in that kind of debt..
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
13 Sep 09
She does work but it is not a fantastic paying job. They spent last night in the hotel where the reception was held and thye are probably back wit her parents right now! she is 36 and still at home.
@shantha_45 (332)
• India
12 Sep 09
Hi after reading what you have written I feel how
stupid and heartless the daughter is. When the boy is
jobless why spend so much on wedding that too when both of them
will live with her parents and the boy will be an added
burden on them. In our country also parents spend a fortune
on daughter's wedding but nowadays daughters
have learnt to say no if the demand is from boy's side.
But it is unbelievable and ridiculous that the daughter
demands.Unless she is financially secure why should
she go for such waste of money?
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
13 Sep 09
I totally agree with you shantha. It was idiotic wste of money that her parent's do not have to spend
