"I Deleted You as a Friend" she wrote

Hey there cynthiann I can't say this has ever happened to me as I don't have a lot of people's email addresses to contact them personally. I agree with you that if she didn't want to recieve honest opinions then she shouldn't have posted the discussion in the first place. When I post discussions I want people to be honest no matter how blunt or opinionated they may be. I have given people BR's that totally disagree with my but I valued their opinion. Just because it is not the same opinion as mine it still doesn't make them wrong! If someone can't take critisism then they are on the wrong site for sure!!

I have never known when someone deleted me but i'm sure they have. That was childish to do that when u only answered her discussion. If they don't want the truth they shouldn't put the question out there.

There's a saying in Yorkshire ... "Theer's nowt so queer as folks". I think it applies here. ("Queer", of course is meant in the old-fashinoned sense!) People sometimes do take unaccountable offence at the most well-phrased and well-meant advice. There is often little use asking why or trying to patch things up (unless they are real, longstanding friends, that is, whom you know well). All you can do, really, is sigh, repeat the above phrase and let them get on with their lives.

Not that I know of....but I have never approached it like you have.....I usually only clean out the friends list once in a while and don't have alot of their emails....so I wouldn't really know if it did I guess!

No it hasn't. I think it's a case of insecurities on her part really. I wouldn't worry about it other then to pray for her. She's probably going through a rough time and maybe even feels ashamed for posting her problems. I'm being very careful in the way I word this response as I don't want her to see this and get offended, I am sure that in her heart she knows your only trying to help her... It's hard to take advice, but easier to give, ya know?

Well I think some thing similar happened to me. There was this woman who was having some problems in her life with her husband and she was wanting to get a divorce. I just suggested to have patience and not to make any decisions in haste. I think my suggestion was not welcomed. Why to delete someone from your friend list? It is absurd.

Some people already know the truth, but they don't want others to repeat it to them. TheY post discussions, maybe hoping someone can come up with something else they can use for an excuse, and when they get the truth they already know...I hate it when people ask for opinions, and then the people who respond are berated because they politely told the truth. By the way, anyone who gets all miffed about this response...I don't know who cynthiann is talking about, so don't get on to me for talking about a situation I don't know. I'm speaking in general here.

I think some people come here looking for others to agree and hear that what they're doing is right, or okay. Just looking for sympathy perhaps. Most people do take offense when others try to offer an opinion that person doesn't want to hear. People have become very closed minded, and won't accept advice if it seems too difficult for them to achieve, or if it will take them out of their comfort zone. You should not be offended by that person's actions. I know you can't help it, I'd be offended too, there've been many times a person has argued or yelled at me for offering sound advice. But in this instance it's not your fault, it's her own for being closed minded and unwilling to leave her comfort zone due to fear.

Sorry to hear that has happened to you. It hasn't happened to me - at least not that I know of. If it did, I wouldn't worry about it. Why do people ask our opinions if they may not like our answers? She may be one of those people that don't know how to get out of a bad relationship or don't have the willpower to do so. Who knows where people's minds are.

I think that is a hard spot that many people have been in at least once or twice. Has it happened here? I don't know, but I know it has happened in my offline world. It is hard to point out to people the obvious, especially when they don't want to see it. It's like they know, but they ask you becuase they want justification for doing what they are doing instead of seeing the truth. I think regardless of how tender things are put to people they are still going to beleive what they want. And yes, why ask if you don't want to know. One think I do know though, the ones that make the biggest deal about it or have the strongest reaction (as in deleting you as a friend) those are the ones that already know there is something wrong and are grossly afraid to see it.

Since I have been with mylot, it never has happened to me. I don't know why she would take offense if she asked for your opinion. You said you were respectful about it, too. This puzzles me. I used to be bad about stating my opinions without people asking. However, I try not to do that any more because I know how I feel when people give me unsolicited advice. It upsets me because I feel like they're being bossy. Kathy.

I kinda remember I have seen a such disscusion some time a go too .. Some people can't face the truth, cynthiann. Because truth hurts .. Some people would say "oh, so sorry, cynthiann, be brave, is not your fault .." I disagree, except that indeed is not your fault. She deleted you as a friend ? mwuahahahahahahahahahahahaha (this word is copyrighted by me) What a loose .. not. She "got revenge" on you and now she have a shorter friend list .. I mean she lost a friend and you lost a .. burden.

Sometimes when our opinions is too truthful that we forced someone to face up the truth, something that he/she is afraid of facing or not ready to face, their reaction to us will be negative. Seems that your response to her is something that she is afraid to face up to. Facing you or in this case reading your message trigger her back. This havent happen to me before but it had happened to someone in my country which was aired in a real show program. Apparently, the someone who offered a helping hand was a tv program executive. The women and her child was brutually beaten by her husband. This women had actually agreed to accept the help of the program executive (to leave her husband), but she later backed off, cutting off any contact with this program executive. It is sad to see this but I guess we should respect other people (what they want to do with their life). Don't be too angry or disappointed with her. Soon, she will realised how good you are

I hate it when someone asks for my opinion, but doesn't really want it. I am a "tell it like it is" kind of person and I don't hold no punches. I'm not nasty about it, but I make my point. In turn if I ask someone for their opinion I expect the same thing. I respect people more if they stand up for what they believe in whether I agree or not. If we are friends I just agree to disagree and we move on. I have started asking people if they are sure that they want my opinion before I give it though. It sounds like you hit a chord with your friend and she is just not wanting to admit it. The truth does hurt.

I haven't experienced being deleted as a friend because of a comment but there was one time when my response was also taken in the wrong perspective. I meant well but the other person got offended. I was actually commending her for her good deeds to her mom but she responded that she was offended by my comment. But, it was a good thing that she made it known to me because she, at least, gave me a chance to tell her that I had no intentions of offending her. But, still I apologized that I unintentionally offended her.

If this has happened to me, I am unaware of it. Wow. That is incredible that she would delete you like that. Oh well. It is her loss.

cynthiann, Not seeing eye to eye is just so common and I am just concern about how nowadays are treating the meaning of friendship. It is just taken so frivolously nowadays and no wonder people like you are ever taken for granted. I suppose some people just do not realize that true friends are rare and like Donna Roberts once said "A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails. " Are we getting shallow here? I hate to see this happening and I certainly have no intention to see this amongst us. In times of prosperity friends will be plenty; in time of adversity not one in twenty - scary? So, let's all try to be tolerant and really listen with our hearts and minds, I just leave you with an Arabic proverb: "A friend is one to whom one can pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keeping what is worth keeping, and, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away." Have a nice day, you still have a friend here! (At least)

A couple times similar things did. You can never always tell when you're going to offend somebody. People are so sensitive sometimes. It is also a bit touchy having to overcome a rejection like this too. So, if it happens remember it will pass and then when you least expect it perhaps happen again. That's life.

This has never happened to me, and I hope that I can keep away from people who can't take good advice at face value. If it's not something you want to do, you shouldn't get mad at the person who gave it, just respectfully refuse the suggestion and try something different. It does seem that she is in a bad situation, though, and it may be all the stress she is under that pushed her to do this to you. I feel for you, and hope this doesn't happen to you again.

Sometimes when are friends are asking our advice on touchy subjects, it is not really our opinion that they are looking for. In this situation, your friend has probably already experienced negative feelings/emotions in a tough situation (bullying husband). Maybe she was looking more for a shoulder to lean than for actual advice. It would be difficult to live with a bully and NOT know that he was a bully. She may have needed validation and support of her feelings. When you are stressed, confused, upset, etc., it is difficult to have more crap heaped on your plate. Any negative comment constitutes "crap" when you are depressed or sad. If you were good friends, don't let this mishap stand between you. Clear the air and offer whatever support she needs from you at this time. If she is truly your friend, you can easily "kiss and make up". No real friendship is worth losing over situations like this. Good luck to you and to your friend!