I Hate to be The Bad Guy.......BUT!

All truth is good but not all truth is good to say. But sometimes, to say what the truth is, even if it hurts, is the duty of a true friend. Remember, all you wanted to do is to help. If you've got something to say, say it in a nice way. You can also invite some other true friends of hers and tell her the truth altogether.

Divorce is very painful and especially for the one not wanting it. I think you need to be honest with her and tell her straight up what you really think but you need to do it in a gentle way. As a friend, you could offer her your support and urge her to move forward with her life at the same time. If her husband should do a turn about and come back then she can always take him back.....if she is still single and if she still wants to then she can. In the meantime, She needs to focus on herself and building her life without him rather than staying stuck in the hoping he'll come back mode. 9 to 10 when & if the other person does change their mind and decide to come back, they find it is too late. Once someone goes thru all the emotions of adjusting to the breakup they usually don't want to revert backwards.

hi kprofgames hi again. sounds like you are a very close friend to her and help her. but now that two months have gone by maybe you are right, maybe its time for some tough love. I think I would tell her that she has taken some wonderful steps but'now she has to face the truth,her husband is not coming back. You I think can be both the strong supportive friend and still' give her that littoe shove to get her to see what is really' going on. with love you can do this and not hurt her as she'must know you are doing this out of kindness, not out of any desire to hurt her at all. good luck.

That's a tough decision to make because it involved your relationship with that special person, and the make-or-break factor of your friend. If you decided on an action and ended up making the wrong decision: you might lose her or she might break down and never recover. Losing someone you love must be a terrible ordeal. I think becoming a supportive friend is the more important, and more needed approach in this case. Of course, that's unless the guy who broke her heart is abusing her hope - continuing to hurt her through uncalled visits, etc. People heal differently, some take longer than others. I hope you made the right decision :)

I think sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and just say what she needs to hear.What kind of friend would you be if you knew what kind of problem they were having and not try to help her .Consequently I think you need to just say what needs to be said and I think if you help her though it may hurt her now but in the end she will be grateful to you

It sounds to me like you're doing the best of both. You're strong, comforting and supportive while looking to get her going in the right direction. Since you know her well, your intuition about treading carefully may be the way to go. You know she vulnerable and she just had a baby. No doubt her hormones are all over the place and that alone can cause a rational person to not see things we think they should and in the time we think they should. Remind her that to be the best person she can for her child is her number one priority. In doing that she's a better and stronger person for herself as well. Good luck with helping her through the ups and downs of her coming to terms with this, because inside she probably knows. At this time in her life she just doesn't want it to be like this. But down the road, she'll look back and see what she gained from what she's been through. It seems to me that one of those things will be the realization of the deepening of a friendship.

It's a hard call-and to do what's right or what's better for you can be a hard decision. I have a tendency to take a lot from people. I let people use me too, and I have a very hard time telling anyone what they should. (Well, I may tell them what they need to hear, but then I am still being taken advantage after the fact.) To me, it seems like you have been that supportive friend. Maybe she needs you to tell her she needs to start fixing the things in herself and maybe you can be there for her in that regard too.

One doesn´t contradict the other, the way I see it. In order to be a good friend (or brother, or sister, whatever) you have to be authentic and say what you feel is the truth, whether it hurts or not. What are friends for if not for that? I don´t subscribe to the comfort thing as long as I know that it doesn't reflect the truth. Giving comfort is great if somebody loses a parent, has a minor heart break. But when, as a friend, you can see the truth staring you in the eyes, it would be, in my humble opinion, your duty to tell it. Your friend might not like it initially, but that's tough. She certainly will be grateful for your advice down the road, if not, you might have lost a friend, but I wouldn't consider somebody to be my friend who couldn't put up with some pain because I'd tell him/her what's right at that time and in that situation for him/her.

Well in that case you have to make her realize the fact and also provide suggestion that will boost her confidence and cheer her up. I don't think being honest with your friend makes you a bad guy, instead you are being true to her base on what you observe to the situation and that's brave enough to tell her the reality of life. Sometimes you have to hurt your friend to make them strong because life is so unpredictable. Maybe what happened to her it's not the greatest hardship that she may encounter in the future. It's not helpful if you keep on telling her that everything will be fine when its not and give her hope but I'm not saying also to give up because who knows maybe one day her husband will realize how important she is. My point is she needs to balance the situation and learn to live life with courage in every thing that may happen in the future. As of the moment its hard for her to let it go but she needs to move on and do some charity work; join sports club to meet new friends.

Well it really depends on how lovable her husband is.. if its worthwhile to wait for him, well and good, time is not an issue... but if its a long wait, i would imagine he is not really bothered about how she feels.. If a bitter pill can cure the diesease, she needs to take it

You are between the proverbial rock and a hard place kprof. As a friend, you are duty bound to be as honest as possible with your friends. On the flip side, she seems to be very vulnerable at this moment so you have to proceed with caution. Are you sure he is not coming back, really sure? People have separated before only to get back together again, that is not at all uncommon. Maybe it would be kinder to sort of prep her in the event he does not come back. She needs to focus on herself and her child, and for that she will most certainly need your love and support. If she is an adult, she must know (deep down inside) that he is gone and may well never return. Her pain is understandable, and any loss takes time to get over. There is no "right" grieving period, we all do it differently and in our time. I say go easy on her, two months is not a very long time period, especially given everything else that she has been through.

i only have one thing to say about this. a real friend wants to hear the truth. they will take it for what it is and won't hold it against you. sometimes friends just need tough love... called the truth! :)