Can you tell when your partner is telling the truth?
By phoenix1344
@phoenix1344 (698)
United States
October 6, 2009 9:00am CST
Let us say you stumbled upon something that your partner was hiding from you. And when you finally confronted him he was telling you his side of the story and from what you could see he was telling the truth. I feel really betrayed right now because he hid this one thing from me. I think the biggest leverage is that I have never kept anything secret from him. He claims he didn't tell me in the first place because he thought he would have lost me then so he tried to hide it.
Ive been with him for 4 years and the way his story goes he did not cheat on me in anyway. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, sort of thing. And I could not see any reason not to beleive him. I know him. He's been my best friend and my boyfriend for 4 years now. To get a second opinion I had him sit down with my Mom and me and retell her what happened to see if she saw any sign that she was lying. She couldn't either.
So can you tell when your partner is being honest with you? Or do you think because we love this person its hard to really know because we are already so biast?
2 people like this
11 responses
@coldmoon (1088)
• France
6 Oct 09
Luckily, (or unfortunately), my partner is not good at cheating, so I can recognize easily if he says a lie. I think that after a long time sharing the life, a real couple know well each other, so any strange behavior will be detected, so I reckon that my cheat can also be revealed by my partner. But when I feel that my partner have something to hide me, I believe that he has a reason to do that. Then, I'll wait until he's free to tell me the truth, so I don't feel as I'm betrayed, and I don't ask him directly what's up because sometime this forces him to make up several lies to cover just a real story.
1 person likes this
@maggie8567 (15)
• China
7 Oct 09
I'm sorry I can not understand you fully,but I really interested in your topic
@daliaj (5674)
• India
7 Oct 09
This is an interesting question. I don't know if I will be able to find out if my partner lies to me. I think it usually won't like to me. He has the habit of saying the truth even if it is unpleasant and it makes me sad or worried for a few days. I think he will be able to find out if I lie to me. I don't have anything to hide or I am not doing anything without his knowledge. So, there is nothing to hide. He will understand it without me telling him if I get tensed or worried.
@irefed (200)
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
Maybe you just speculating things and misjudging him. Give him time and love him still. I'm sure his conscience won't allow him to sleep if he cheated you. And I'm sure he will going to tell you the truth.
@lodz28 (86)
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
5 yrs in marriage i havnt yet detect any dishonesty with my husnd in terms of money matter.
@Eisenherz (2908)
• Portugal
6 Oct 09
So everything got solved for you? Pleased to read madame. In case it didn't, I can PM you my number ;) Well, I think any relationship to be solid enough must envolved 100% commitment from both sides and that obviously implies 100% honesty all the time as well. And when you have a relationship that way, it's then easy to tell whether something smells or not.
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
6 Oct 09
My husband doesn't lie to me but I have caught him trying to hide things. Every time that has happened he came clean and didn't try to cover it up (further). I don't think he would be able to actually lie to me about something big and if he did I'm pretty sure I would be able to tell because his guilt would show.
I do think that sometimes people choose not to see the truth because it would be so unpleasant. So with issues like truth and honesty it's definitely best to use your head instead of your heart (easier said than done unfortunately).
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
6 Oct 09
I can always tell when my husband is telling a lie,as with most people who lie they do not think that we will get to find out the truth.The problem is a man can never remember what things they have said when they do lie and so when they talk to someone else or the same person at another time the story changes.When they do get caught out the worst thing they do is stick to their first lie then add bits to that,only to make things alot worse for them.
@danilong (24)
• United States
7 Oct 09
I think sometimes we just want to believe what our intuition is telling us is a lie. It's easier to let it go. As you say though, he's been your best friend as well as love for the past 4 years, listen to your heart & gut girl.
If that doesn't help, the next time (praying there is no next time) confront him when you are calm and do so in a soft voice, hands clasped behind your back showing a non-confrontational stance. Ask simple straight forward questions. Then.... look for tell tale signs such as: a nervous tick like one leg bouncing. a hint of a smile that is gone quickly. touching his face, like itching his nose or ear. Does he cross his arms in front of his chest (a common closed off stance). Does he look away when he answers. These are the most common signs someone is not tell you the truth or holding back part of the truth. I hope this helps and best wishes for a long and happy life.
@jacobsguardian (108)
• United States
6 Oct 09
Unfortunately I think men tend to not tell us things that they think will make us mad, even if they didn't do anything wrong. Maybe they think that if they have no wrongdoing to admit then why even rock the boat? Honestly, if they just came out and told us everything to begin with, there'd be so much less trouble.
