A crap of a night (Nov 9 09)

United States
November 9, 2009 4:25pm CST
Last night I found out from my wife, online, that she is dating this guy she is living with. We were kicked out of our place and had to move to two different locations about 4 hours away from each other. We have two children together. Well, i didnt react well to the news. We have tickets to see the Imagination Movers with the kids. She has the tickets and now I'm not allowed to go. She is now turning everyone against me and I think she is going to try to take the kids from me. So yeah, a crap of a night. please keep the comments civil.
4 people like this
14 responses
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
9 Nov 09
That is terrible and to tell you online. What was the relationship like before you had to move to separate places? If she doesn't want to be with you anymore that is one thing but to try and take the kids from you is downright WRONG! Sorry about your troubles but she is so wrong to do this to you online. She should be woman enough to face you eye to eye, but I guess she isn't. By the way who paid for the tickets?
3 people like this
• United States
9 Nov 09
Our relation has been rocky. As for the tickets, her father bought them as a gift for us to take the kids to. mentally right now, i am one heck of a mess of emotions.
3 people like this
• United States
9 Nov 09
I'm sure you guys could of made things work a little bit better to where you weren't 4 hours away. Yeah you might of had to cut down on certain things but still I'm pretty sure that 2 rents are better than 1 so to me either you or her, whoever insisted on being separated probably already had reservations about the marriage. Either way when people are separated they really get to decide whether or not they love the person and I guess she doesn't love you anymore. Time to go get a divorce, but unless you have a great lawyer I don't think you'll get the kids.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Nov 09
Of course you'll fight. The thing is that most of the time a judge is going to automatically grant custody of the kids to the wife. At this point the biggest thing she probably has support wise would be her family if they are giving money to help raise the kids and now seeing someone helps her in a sense because its another source of income. Also any baggage that you do throw in about her be careful because sometimes if the information is no longer valid - like if she doesn't still do it etc. - then it'll come back to haunt you. A judge can see it as you playing dirty and therefore your sense of character is undermined. Custody and courts are complicated. Hopefully you guys might be able to do joint custody and figure out something without going to court just yet because it is a lot of money and I'm sensing you don't have all the money to spend at the moment.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Nov 09
You are probably right. Her mind was already made up. As for the kids, I'll fight for them. i know a few unsavory things about her that I could use if I had to. i'm not that kind of person though.
2 people like this
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
9 Nov 09
Why don't you try to see her? She sounds like she's acting as if she hates your guts. Is there something YOU did wrong? How is everyone being turned against you? Sounds like you're in a complicated situation, the recession has pushed me over a bit but not as bad as that. You had to move to two different locations correct? Why was that? :s Maybe your relationship wasn't meant to be if it was rocky and damaging.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Nov 09
I moved in with my father which was only about 2 hrs from where we use to live. She didnt want to be near my father and I didnt want the kids 6 hours from their family. As for what I did wrong. I'm not sure. She always says I dont pay enough attention and that i need to stop complaining about all the male friends she has.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Nov 09
oh lord it looks like you had a right to complain about all her male friends. what has happen to love honor and cherish with couples anymore?
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
9 Nov 09
The recession is screwing everyone over! I am so sorry that this has happened to you but maybe you should talk to your wife and ask her what went wrong? Was there something you did or didn't do and what can you do to change it? Appeal to her emotions.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Nov 09
I had tried that. In response, she removed me as a friend on facebook and is basically flaunting her relationship
3 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
9 Nov 09
Your children are important to you and to her, have you tried appealing to that? I don't know, it sounds like your in a real crappy situation. I don't understand how these situations come about it really.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Nov 09
Sooo sorry that happened to you, I am married now to my 3rd husband and Thank God we love each other and we both love God and that keeps us strong. But I can tell you from experiance marraige is hard. The first 2 darn near broke me from feeling love twards a spouse ever again! I had grown so bitter and cold that I mostly didnt even like myself - now thats bad! Both Ex's were cheaters among many many other things, It really is hard on the children. I have one from each ex. And it takes so much toll on them. I tell you if you can work it out you should not only for yourselfs but the kids also, but if not you have got to come to some civilized relationship to be able to raise the children will as little conflict as possible. I also tell you there is no marraige counseler like Jesus Christ. He is my personal Lord and Savior. Myself and My husband now both came to God after we started dating and I can not even begin to testify as to what he has done for us. I was so strong and independent and cold and now I am able to love and care and give! i hope that in all of our comments you are able to find some kind of answers for you and your family and I am saying a little prayer for you right now!
@AndieBee (27)
• United States
10 Nov 09
I'm so sorry this has happened to you, but after reading all the dialogue, it might be for the best. She had her mind made up LONG ago about her intent. If she hadn't she would not have disrespected your feelings about her male "friends" by basically telling you to "Get over it". She would not have let ANYTHING stand in the way of keeping her family together. I can see if your Dad presented a threat to your children or her that it would be a good reason for her not to go there with you. Even if that was the case, she would have found other family or friends willing to have you ALL in their home temporarily. No, I'm sorry to say, she intended to move in with this man all along and leave you by the wayside. I know it's difficult to hear, and even harder to cope with. Now is the time to take a moment and gather yourself. Determine that you will show a million times more class than she has, quietly and patiently get yourself together so you can fight for your kids without resorting to mudslinging and dirty pool, and claim the victory of being over and done with this woman! It will be a long row to hoe, but you will recover and move on. Best of luck to you!
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
10 Nov 09
i am so sorry to hear about what is happening between you and your wife... hopefully you can resolve the situation soon and everything will be fine soon... i hope you don't have to go to court to fix the problem... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
• United States
10 Nov 09
I'm sorry that happened. That wasn't a very good way to tell you (online). Did you two really have to move that far apart from each other? Couldn't you have moved but stayed closer to each other? I hope you can make things work out and I hope she doesn't try to keep the kids from seeing you.
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
10 Nov 09
gfike01, How did you get your family to be kicked out in the first place? I just cannot help to perceive that your wife really had a lot of unresolved and pent up issues with this marriage and you. Yet, I couldn't help to wonder just how you have been trying to deal with the differences and conflicts as it becomes evident between the both of you. It is just sad to see a relationship that the both of you had worked so hard and hoped, to come to this stage. I feel that there's just much happening between the both of you and I hope that things will work out for the both of you. Take care.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Nov 09
gfike okay civil. but why is your wife living with a guy and you are in 'another plAce, what did you expect leaving your wife with another man,. I do not undestand this situation. I know this economy has busted up so many families. take me I am stuck here in this retirement center because' my son lost his job,we ran out of money,and were homeless so rather than let' me sleep on a park bench at age 83 he put me here so I had a place to live. mysocial security and ssi checks pay the rent and board. he is also living apart from me with a gov.sponsored apt with three other men so they can all live and look for jobs. but what made you two hAve to split up,the same reason? but putting your wife with another man, oh my. I have nothing against you because I do not know why she is where she is, but I think if you want to keep your marriage intact you have to get her out of there at once. what in the world is wrong with her? I feel for you and those children too. this economy has wrecked so many families. my son is my only close relative. he does come to see me often though so that is great.hope you can work things out gfike
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
10 Nov 09
Wow...your wife has a lot of nerves to do that in your face. She is even brave enough to say that and seemed like she was proud of it. What's wrong with her? Well...you should talk..the two of you. For the sake of the children.
@oXAquaXo (607)
• United States
10 Nov 09
I'm really sorry to hear this. Know that there are other people out there that have had similar issues, so don't worry, you're not the only one. Everyone's been having some tough times, with the recession and everything. I would suggest talking to her. Let her know that you still care about her and that you have a right in the childrens' life. Just let her know your real feelings. Maybe you could try talking to the people that she turned against you and see if they can help back you up. It's ok, everyone has tough times. I wish you luck!
@rosepedal64 (4188)
• United States
10 Nov 09
Hi gfike I know that with the way that the econmy is right now that families are struggle in more ways than one. I hate to hear that you are of the many that are having this kind of issues. I only wish the best for you. Now when it comes to the wife issue, maybe she is all confused about everything. I know that relationships are hard to manage right now. Maybe you need to find out the real problem from her. Im sure there is something going on inside her heart to make a decision as this. Try to be kind and gentle and things will work out for the best. I will listen if you need someone to talk to. I wish you the best.
@lindiebiz (1006)
• Canada
10 Nov 09
I'm really sorry for what has happened to you. That is why it is not go for couples to be seperated in such manner. If she has decided to be with this guy, there is nothing you can do about it but accet your fate and continue with your life. Don't try to fight or hurt her but let her know you would like to keep your relationship with your kids. Wish you the best