Can you tolerate this kind of questions?
@chaitra001 (3278)
Bangalore, India
February 15, 2010 3:39am CST
Hi friends.. Some times we get go with some questions asked by people who we know.. but they are not really very close to us but then too they will ask some of your personal matter for instance what is your salary now? What will you do with your salary? and many other questions too which you doesnt prefer to answer.. then what will be your reaction and how will you avoid such questions from others..please share with me..
2 people like this
23 responses
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
17 Feb 10
Hi Chaitra!
Could not check your discussion earlier. You have asked a very pertinent question. It is true that sometime, people ask some awkward questions, which make us feel embarrassed. I try to avoid such questions, wherein I don't want to give a straight reply and I become evasive or give some diplomatic reply. If someone asks about my salary and I do not want to let him know, I just give him a broad idea or would say - "I get enough salary for my livelihood".
Some people are needed to be treated in the manner, they behave with us.
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
23 Feb 10
Hi Deepak.. you are right that some people should be treated like there questions are ignored.. so that they will never re ask us or some one with such type of questions..
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
20 Feb 10
Hi Chaitra,
I know it is difficult to manage those people, they are not close so does not deserve a clear answer at the same time we can't ignore them too. I may answer according to my mood on that time. Sometimes I may tell the right answer sometimes I may divert the question and if I am on bad mood I just ignore them.
1 person likes this
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
23 Feb 10
Hi Sree.. Thanks for sharing dear.. yes some times it really gets ridiculous to deal with such people.. as you said I too just ignore those kind of people..
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
16 Feb 10
well, if a stranger asked me questions that make me feel uncomfortable, i will just walk away and pretend that i did not hear the questions at all... i don't have to entertain the questions and it is entirely up to me whether i want to answer the questions or not... and i had learn from my experiences that walking away is the best solution to avoid this situation... take care and have a nice day...
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
15 Feb 10
usually when someone asks me such kind of question, i just usually said just enough, enough for my usual needs...
and then i will not said anything more & show no interests, if they will insists asking i will just say secret! haha
and try to change the topic...
@geniustiger (1694)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
I opted not to answer if I not know her well.
I dont answer directly to those people just
newly met. Its quiet uneasy for me that she
would know about me. Its too personal unless
if you are too close to each other and you are friends.
I'm afraid to tell about it for those new
people who ask about it.
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
23 Feb 10
Hi geniustiger.. Thanks for sharing that how you would react in such situations..
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
16 Feb 10
Hi, chaitra001. I know what you mean. I don't like when people say these kind of things to me at all. I don't want to be asked something that is very personal. I will react very surprised when these questions are asked. I like to tell others my salary or annual income in confidence. And what I do with my salary is none of their business. I don't think that they should know what I do and don't do.
@vathsala30 (3732)
• India
16 Feb 10
Hi chaitra
I too hate people who asks such personal questions like regarding salary and any other money matters. Yesterday when I told my relative that my son got a job and is posted in chennai and rented a house. Immediately she asked what is his salary and how much is the rent. Though I was furious over such questions, I am unable to express my ire so I told her. I will see what the other mylotters responses for this discussion and hereafter I will follow the same method to avoid such question. If we say that my son's marriage has been fixed, immediately the same type of people will ask how much dowry you are taking as if taking dowry is a must and it is our custom.
@udayrao2 (781)
• India
16 Feb 10
I think everyone here on this site is mature enough to decide where the limit starts, and it is a matter of personal choice; I would definitely not like to answer someone very personal questions ( whether I know the person or not, that is another matter )and if asked I would tell him or her about not liking such questions and not to ask in future, rather than beat around and avoiding the question - if you tell the person firmly but politely not to ask and he will not get any answer, the person will not ask again such personal questions.
@jho2010 (155)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
hi,
i have also encountered lots of people who asked some personal matters to me.They would asked how much is my husband's salary, how much is the rent of our house and even how much i spend in grocery items, questions like that is really irritating and i am always shocked everytime i heard that to a person that is not even close to me. I wonder how can they asked such question, to make the story short, i simply replied like this : about my husband's salary - well, it's pretty good or not bad or enough to make a living and the excess for us to enjoy,and then i smile and i knew although i have answered their questions, at the back of their mind they are not satisfied.And if they still want to know the real amount of either salary or grocery, i would answer i cannot tell the exact amount coz if i did, it will make you shocked, hehe, sarcastic answer is'nt it? but i said it in a very calm voice and with a smile.Im sure it will make him or her crave for more answer from me, but they can't get anymore details, coz at that moment i'll find ways to leave him or her.
@abitcurious (1422)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
My neighbors are like that. Because they don't see me get out that often (I work part time online) they are always wondering what it is I do. Sometimes I overhear them talking about us. One time they asked how much I make daily. I was really irked because that really wasn't their business. Til now I can still hear them wonder about my earnings. But I don't let it get to me, I'm not responsible to them and I don't demand anything from them either.
I discovered a trick. If someone asks you a personal question, don't answer it instead, ask the same question and don't speak until they don't answer it. It gets them off balance and they start evading personal questions after that.
@sassyjazz (48)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
The same happened to me several times and I really don't like people, especially if they are not that close to me, to know about my financial matter. What I did was I pretend I never heard their question and I changed the topic and they stop questioning.
@thuhuong (823)
• United States
15 Feb 10
For some reason I find that my husband's family ask me that a lot but this was before I became his wife. I find it strange that in order to know someone you want to know how much they make and what they do with it? I'm very against asking these questions so instead of dodging it, I say I make enough to pay the bills and that's good for me. These questions are usually led to ventures or investments which they would want you to be a part of. I've known a good deal of people who talk like they are the boss but are unemployed or are not making enough to get by. They resort to these tactics of talking. It's all about how network marketing nowadays which is influencing people to talk like that. I've been to a few seminars and do not like that they put you down because you are satisfied with what you have. They want to push you to invest your money elsewhere at their risk. Ironic, when it comes to money, I don't what to make use of it as a tool of superiority, it is a fact of life, we need it to survive but we don't need it to position our status. That is for me in fact.
@thedailyclick (3017)
•
15 Feb 10
Often when someone one ask me a question which I feel uncomfortable answering because of it’s revealing personal nature I am quite blunt and say that it is my business and as such would prefer it to stay that way. If they continue to probe I am usually even more forthright and tell them that they are p!ssing me off with their incessant questioning of a matter that I have no intention of discussing with them.
The trouble is you can’t avoid these situations and from personal experience its best not to try and skirt around the question with pleasantries because it doesn’t stop them. So for me it is better to stop them in their tracks and explain in a blunt but courteous manner that it’s none of their business.
Whilst many will see you as being a bit harsh for being blunt it does send out the message that you want to keep certain matters private and as such usually works to cause people to think before asking me another personal question.
@sherwinm (149)
• India
15 Feb 10
hi chaitra! i would normally get irritated when someone asks me about my mark when i was studying. and now as i finished college everyone's started to ask what is your salary? oh god! it irritates me so much! i would at times change topic or act as if i dint hear what they asked and start talking something else:)
@oms_thetruth1990 (164)
• India
15 Feb 10
If i m not in a mood to answer the question.. i just leave that company,,,,,
@fireice247 (140)
• Slovak Republic
15 Feb 10
Well i do get questions like that all the time.i simple avoid the the questions by saying "i earn enough to keep me fed" or "i get enough "
when asked what will i do with the salary
"I will invest in mutual funds"...answered to avoid any further questions.
the answer above really works when the person asking the question doesn't know about the stock market an investments.
or
"I am saving to buy a house"
Answers like this usually makes them not ask any more questions as they have heard what they wanted to hear.
It doesn't matter if you actually do it or not.