Are we are destined to become like our parents?
By Pose123
@Pose123 (21635)
Canada
March 14, 2010 11:54am CST
Heredity plays a role in almost all human development, whether physical, mental, or emotional. We often look like our parents and have characteristics we also find in them. As we grow older, we become increasingly aware of the peculiaristies that exist within us and the clear history of the traits of our mothers and fathers. Our response to this however, depends upon whether the inclinations and tendencies, we inherited from our them are acceptable in our eyes. We may honor some of these shared traits while rejecting others. However, there is no law of nature, no connection between parents and children, that states that the latter must follow in the footsteps of the former. We are each of us free to become whoever we wish to be.
When we accept that our parents are human beings in possession of both human graces and human failings, we begin to regard them as distinct individuals. And by granting mothers and fathers personhood in our minds, we come to realize that we, are in no way destined to become them. While we may have involuntarily integrated some of our parents mannerisms or habits into our own lives, we can by work past them if we so desire. We can also honor our mothers and fathers without becoming carbon copies of them.
Though many of the tempers and temperaments that define us are inherited, we control how they manifest in our life. The patterns we witnessed unfolding in the lives of our parents need not be a part of our destiny. We can learn from the decisions they made but their habits need not become ours. As we make our way through life, lets not lose sight of the fact that our parents influence will continue to shape our life whether or not we follow in their footsteps. Throughout our entire existence, they have endeavored to provide us with the benefit of their experiences. How we make use of this gift is up to us. Do you agree?
2 people like this
19 responses
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
I definitely agree. No law states that we are to be like our parents and I believe freewill has given us the great opportunity to become otherwise if we do choose to. "DESTINED" is a heavy word, because clearly the path we choose to walk is always our own, even if influenced by our parents, because on the way we meet others who part takes in the molding of our behavior which becomes our characteristics.
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@eileenleyva (27560)
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
Hi pose, we are who we are. By whatever facets of life we would like to portray ourselves, people see us as family. I am a distinct individual but my bond to my parents and my children are all part and parcel of me. We cannot escape that. Actually, I am proud of it. Mine is a good family, I believe. 
But whatever negative vibes there might be that runs in the genes, try to eradicate them. Pray to be freed from that bondage. And whatever good traits there are, enhance them. 
But whatever negative vibes there might be that runs in the genes, try to eradicate them. Pray to be freed from that bondage. And whatever good traits there are, enhance them. 
@loverose031206 (1)
•
15 Mar 10
ya right we are the one who make our destiny or the way we live and they cannot dictate us what we will do
@flemingshare (1)
• China
15 Mar 10
Our parents are just like a history of us ,in some sense we are identical to them,but we are in another era.It's life the process of evolution,we evolve from their genes and make some mutation in a little part.For most of the part,we are the continuation of our parents while living in another state of history.
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
14 Mar 10
Hi Pose, in some ways, yes.. I do believe that we 'inherit' bits or most of our parents traits and personalities. And as for destiny in which you have mentioned, perhaps it is so too. But we can also change some if we work hard for it. Like say our parents are not so well off, and we decide to change this fact for ourselves and work hard to achieve, I think it can be done. With the right amount of hard work and dedication, a change might take place.
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@ayushbanka (88)
• India
15 Mar 10
i agree heredity plays a crucial role in one's life but i don't admit that we are destined to be like our parents. there are many examples wandering about which denies the fact that a child is a zerox(photo) copy of his/her mother/ father. we may look similar to them but our habits may be different and far from similarity. and its not necessary to follow footsteps of your parents everytime.. we may choose a different way and can excel in that too.
@cris_noverence (60)
• Philippines
15 Mar 10
Sometimes I agree with this opinion, but I also believed that heredity influence only 30 percent and environment influence 70 percent, meaning sometimes heredity acts and sometimes environment prevail.
1 person likes this
@rookiekan (882)
• China
14 Mar 10
Our bodies may be looks like our parents, but the mental, emotional, career needs us to fight and get,it would not destined to like our parents.society needs to progress, so genes determine that we are stronger,more intelligent,more creative than our parents.a famous saying that like fater,like son is very one-sided.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
16 Mar 10
Hi rookiekan, Thank you for responding and I agree that society needs to progress. It isn't true however that all children are more intelligent and creative than their parents but some certainly are. The choices that we make in life go a long way in deciding the person we become. Blessings.
@harmonee (1228)
• United States
14 Mar 10
I don't think we are destined to. While I have some similarities to my parents, there are some things that I didn't want to do or be and made the decision not to. Don't get me wrong, my parents are fabulous! But my mom won't leave the house without her hair done and makeup on and that just isn't me. I am totally fine throwing my hair into a pony tail and wearing sweats. My husband decided to be the polar opposite of his parents. He didn't respect them and didn't want to end up being like that, so he's pretty much nothing like them.
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@sublime03 (2339)
• Philippines
15 Mar 10
I believe it really depends on how they have raised up their children. Like for instance, I am accustomed to making my own decisions ever since before. They have always been there and have always guided me from the course I took in school to how I speak and etc. They have never told me what exactly do I need to do but they have guided me on the right things to do versus what the world shows us.
I may have gotten a few things on how my mom deals about things but not the totality of how she is. I have learned a lot from her and will always be forever grateful on how she raised me and my brothers. I can never say she did not give me a good life since she indeed both my mom and dad has given me the best of what the world has to give.
I have to say, I have learned a lot of things on how to deal about things and definitely the experiences my parents have gone through is a living statement that thus God will always provide if we just put our faith in Him. So for me, without Him we are nothing and through His love we become perfect in His eyes.
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@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
16 Mar 10
Hi sublime, Thank you for commenting. If we are raised right I think we will make our own decisions, strange as it seems, those who are not raised well seem more likely to be like their parents. Of course our own choices still decides our destiny. Blessings.
@doryvien (2284)
• United States
15 Mar 10
Hi Pose,
I agree with you on all counts. We are not given much choices on what we get from our parents genetically, it is something we have to accept, hook, line and sinker. But what we become as a person is a choice all ours to make, it is something we can have control over with. There will be traces of our parents here and there, but we are what we are, because of ourselves, and not because of anybody else, not even our parents.
1 person likes this
@blummus (451)
• United States
15 Mar 10
In general, I do agree, however I think it is fair to point out that those things we have from our parents, both cultural and genetic, do form the context for our actions. It is difficult, for instance, for a person who has inherited a tendency to anger and anxiety and grown up in a loud and violent household to be a calm and kind person in adulthood. The overwhelming majority of his or her experiences point to a moral and ethical standard that accepts anger and violence as the norm, rather than providing rational guidance toward control of his or her own violent impulses. As much as we would like to believe that we are entirely free to choose our own path, we are born upon the path of our ancestors, and it is not always simple or easy to strike out upon another when we have the chance.
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@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
16 Mar 10
Hi blummus, Thanks for a good and well thought out response. I agree that there are situations such as the one that you describe where the parents influence is much stronger and it's much more difficult to change. I still think it's possible to make our own choices but you have raised an excellent point. Blessings.
@cnn0831 (27)
• Philippines
15 Mar 10
We're not destined to be like our parents.
WE have our own decision, beliefs and techniques on how we handle our daily lives.
Maybe we learn from their decision but it doesn't mean that we need to apply/adapt it in every situation. I think it's a guide for us to know how to decide, either a good or bad one.
We're responsible for our future.
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@piscesgirl_1983 (45)
• Philippines
15 Mar 10
For me I think no... because if i am become a parent i will give my child a freedom to do what he or she want to do..
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@myfinalh3av3n24 (85)
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
i agree to what you said that our parents need not be a part of our destiny but their experiences can be used for our own decisions in life. we don't have to be like them when we grow old. God has given as the ultimate gift of "free will" to become our very own. we were given unique traits to become a part of something different. i, for one, doesn't want to be like my dad nor be like my mom because of a lot of different reasons but what i do want to be is to become a godly father and a godly friend.
@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
15 Mar 10
How true Pose .....What I feel is we should imbibe all the values and goodness from our parents and live our own lives in a way that will make our parents proud of us....Every individual id different and each one cannot be a photo copy of his or her parents .But they can easily learn a lot from their parents,especially from the mistakes they may have made and strive to become better persons,in their own way....
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
17 Mar 10
I agree with you Pose another thing is that living together with our parents aside from the hereditary traits, we are much influenced with our way of living. If we were brought out to be conservative and frugal then we are but when a child grow up example an adopted child grew up with an outgoing and extravagant family then he'll be influence by it as well.
@homeshoppers (6166)
• Philippines
15 Mar 10
each people have distinct personality and so we might look like our parents but it doesnt mean that we can be like them, we still have our own personality and its actually a choice. like if one person want to be like their parents then they can if not then they can choose something that what really they want.
@kaylachan (69824)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
15 Mar 10
Who you become is completely defined by the choices we make as people. Sure our enveronment, people, places, and things play a large role in it, but they don't make the choices for us. We as indvuals do that. If you chose to be a carbon copy of your parents then that's more power to you.
@phoenix8606 (4942)
•
14 Mar 10
Hi POse! I also think that we are not necessary destined to become like our parents, because we must choose our own destiny by our own, without taking care what the parents want from us, I mean that we must become that what we want, only if we are sure that it is right and it is a good path that we have chosen! I also didn't follow the advice my parents gave me to become an engineer, just because I wasn't keen on it, I prefer to become a writer or a publisher, but i actually didn't have luck with the writing, so i decided to study literature and then if i have some luck to open my own book store with a little library inside :)
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