Close friend and her relationships
By lulu1220
@lulu1220 (1006)
United States
August 17, 2010 1:45pm CST
I have a friend at work that is always telling me about her relationships with other men. Most of the time I don't mind it, but sometimes it does get annoying. She starts to complain about them and tells me she wants to break up with them. Just recently she told me..."He keeps calling me and texting me and I don't want anything to do with him. What should I do?" I tell her to let him know she does not want to see him anymore and to stop texting and calling her, but she never listens to me. I even suggested she block his #, but she does not want to do that either. Then she complains she is tired because he kept calling her all night. "So why don't you turn off your phone at night?" I asked her. She uses it for an alarm clock she says. I suggest to her to go buy an alarm clock then. She is younger than me and does not really have the guts to tell these guys to back off. I joke with her and tell her I will tell them for you if you want.
Anyone else have a friend like this?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
17 Aug 10
Luckily I do not, because I am afraid that would get on my nerves after awhile.
I think the best thing you could do in this situation is to tell your friend unless she is going to do something about her current men issues, you are tired of hearing her complain about the same thing day after day. At some point everyone needs to take some responsibility for their life and to stop talking about their problems.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Aug 10
Who asks for advice, but doesn't take it? Yup, I can think of one or two. But maybe they don't want advice, maybe they just want somebody to listen...
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
18 Aug 10
Hi lulu1220,
No, thank goodness, I do not have a friend who tells me all her business with her guys and then doesn't listen to any advice I give her. I couldn't stand being annoyed with her all the time.
You friend doesn't seem to what your advice, even though she asks, "what should I do?" She is using you as a sounding board to vent her frustrations and disappointments. Realizing this, as her friend you can continue to listen to her rant and rave about what a nuisance this guy is, without saying a word, no advice just listen until she has burnt herself out and stops talking. If you do that a few times, she will probably ask you why you aren't saying anything. Then, you can say, "what's the use in me give you advice that you never listen to?"
Surprise, she may stop tell you all her news or she will start to listen to your advice.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
18 Aug 10
She is annoying.
I don't really know why she does it! I mean it's even unfair not tell them. I think she is imature, or she is an adult but afraid of things, to face them.
I don't have a friend like this. I'm more your type, of offering to me to handle when they are afraid to say something.
@chargeman (6)
• China
18 Aug 10
undoutedly,it annoying you much to tell your the relationships which you are not care at all,but i also think it is a embody between she and you .one cant speak too much with the people whom they feel disgusting.
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
18 Aug 10
lulu1220,
I don't think your friend here really requires any advice or help. However, she is another one of those attention seekers who would really like to see jaw dropping sessions with her many "you-know-whats".
Such narcissists are just very common in every workplace. Suggest you try and tell her of your boyfriend(s) and I bet you my last dollar that she will have a more exaggerated spin. I can assure you that it will go on and on.
Just don't bother with her theatrics - even if she turns up at the office looking like a panda, be yourself and carry on with your day. You will know that she really needs your help when the time comes.
Take care and have a nice day.
Yes, there are several friends like those, but thanksfully they are not that close.
@jamuls (530)
• Philippines
17 Aug 10
sounds like this "friend" of your is bragging about her "accomplishments" i have a friend like this... i was also like this too back in my stupid years but that's a different story... anyway, this friend of mine keeps on bragging and bragging but he listens to what we say to him. that's the difference. either you stay friends with her or find some new ones who would appreciate your efforts.
@therenthead (298)
• United States
17 Aug 10
I don't have a friend exactly like that, but I have one that is similar. She's always talking about her relationships wih several people and it tends to make me a little uncomfortable. I can see how this would be frustrating for you, because she's talking AT you instead of with you, and not listening when you respond.
@pradeep_kpk (57)
• India
17 Aug 10
yes my friend by name of srikanth who shares with me any thing what he faces
@tarveen (6)
• India
17 Aug 10
i guess she's enjoying all the attention and pampering she's getting from this guy and so does not want to get him out of her life.if she does not like the guy then i guess she should tell him that and should not keep him in the dark.she has the right to say no to a guy and should have the guts to tell him that before it gets too late.as for u ,you keep on enjoying her stories and just when it gets too annoying cut into her conversations by telling ur own made up stories..slowly she might get the idea that u r not interested in her relationship sagas:)
@kendria21 (20)
• United States
17 Aug 10
Hello,
I don't have a friend like that, I have a sister like that! This just drives me insane! I try to give her the advice she seeks, but she never listens to me either. At first it seems as though she is seeking advice, but then I realize she just wants me to acknowledge the drama that her life holds. Once I jumped that hurdle I began to say to her: "Girl, I don't know what you are going to do", then she began to share less and less. I had to show little or no interest; or show a disgust for the tales she would tell in order for her to keep some things to herself. Now, one thing she will do is change her number. She changes it about 15-20 times per year, just because of these "relationships". You should tell your friend that she should be careful because those games she is playing can get someone hurt. She just needs to be upfront and honest with whomever she is trying to avoid and if all else fails.... Change the number!!!
