One biggest mistake when we love

i think one big mistake most of us make is not seeing people for who they really are. Most people will tell you who they are in their actions and when we make the choice to pretend we don't see it, then that is our fault. I think it's great to be in love, but not to be blinded by love.

dear raynejasper, the biggest mistake is not communicating well with your partner that is why you are probably thinking everything is fine when it is not. when you love someone, you give your best. dont we? the thing is, do you ask if he/she is satisfied with the love, the care, the time that we give. if she says yes, then probably he/she would not leave you in the first place. when you love someone with all your heart, you also are loving yourself because you feel fulfillment and satisfaction. right? ann

As a Zen practitioner, I can recognize that my partner is in reality, a reflection of myself. There are huge problems for most of us that we don't love ourselves enough and this is strongly depicted with the battles and wars we do with others. We are really fighting ourselves, because humankind is really one, but the ego each of us has, judges and separates. I think that when each of us learn to tame the ego, then we will be at peace and be able to create a real lasting love. Through meditation, I am focused on this path, and getting to realized just how complex the mind has made things, but slowly, piece by piece, it all unravels.. _Derek

Don't we just. I have never learned to 'love' myself, but I have learned to make time for myself- sometimes do things that are just for me, such as making my models, or playing a PC game. Sometimes this does irritate my partner, but I am convinced that if you spend the best part of 24/7 together things will get staid. What do you talk about when you already know what that person has done all day?

For me one biggest mistake when we love is we became jealous. We sometimes ask ourselves not to, but we cannot help it and it's not right because jealousy is a sin. What we can do when we love is that we must put God in the center of our relationship and everything will work out fine.

helo there, i think i know how your feeling. i'll been there before. but then i realize that the best for us to divorced. yes, people say, dont love your lover to much, coz he/she could be u'r enemy 1 day. and dont hate u'r enemy to much, coz he/she could be u'r lover one day. but as natural we are giving everything for the one that we love. as long as that make you happy,,,do it... but dont forget, if the love have to lost. keep a positive thinking, that there someone better for us out there... c u salam

You're absolutely right! We have to love ourselves first. It's the best thing you can ever do in this world. Once you start loving yourself, you get self motivated. You'll score greater heights in life. But my opinion is, if there's a person in this world who can love you more than anything else; who can sacrifice anything for you; who can understand you much better than you could, then you can give all your love to that person. One best example is your MOM!

Well I don't think we all deserve to be happy. I know plenty of people who don't deserve to be happy, but rather deserve exactly what they get. Not that I don't like them, but it's just the truth. Perhaps you are different. One thing I might add. The biggest mistake I see people do, is give all their love to someone who is not their husband or wife. If there is any sure way to get hurt, it's to love someone who isn't your spouse. This is why I don't like the word "Partner". A partner, is someone who can leave you at any time. That's why they are called a "partner". Giving love to a partner, is automatically a bad idea. It's like giving all your food to a junk yard dog. That dog will follow after anyone who gives it food. It will happily take everything you give it, and then run off after the next person who feeds it. This is why marriage is so important. It's a commitment. A life long dedication, of two people, to each other. Without that... all you have is a 'partner'.

I don't agree with you dear. The biggest mistake is when we lost that someone without giving our best. It is better to love and give everything ,rather than losing someone and regretting for not giving our best. Anyway,when i lost the one i love,i never felt sorry for myself becoz i know i did my best and gave my all...i never lost him,but HE LOST ME

Indeed, women to be exact give all their love to their partners and not leaving a piece for themselves. Base on experience, i loved and gave everything to my bf but in the end, i end up hurting myself. Now i have learned, I leave a part of my love for myself and i never give my 100% trust to my bf..I know i have to trust him but i simply just can't because he has failed me once already from trusting him completely.

Well that is what you think about love. You watch too much love story film young lady.

Whenever someone told me " I love you" I also reply " me too" what I mean is I love myself too. heheheh!!!! Anyway, one of the biggest mistakes whenever we are in love is that we forget ourselves. We almost give up everything, it is like you to me are everything. (oh I remember my university days.) As I remember those things I was trying to give up just to be with that girl. I can't believe that I did that stupidity. Well, I learn a lot. Learn to love yourself before loving others. Whenever we are in love we must set aside 40% love for ourselves so that if we broke up with our love one. You can't feel that you are stupid. You can also preserve your confidence and courage to face the new challenge of love. Love is the sweetest thing I know. But, if we get overdosed with, it we will get blind.

you are right. when people love they just give all to other person and when they leave we get nothing but sadness. it happened to me many times already. i really cared for someone, thought he cares too and then suddenly stops caring and im the one being hurt. you are right we must also see our happiness and not just care for the other person^^

In my case its the other way around. I couldn't give it all like there's something that always stops me. Maybe i was afraid or I don't wanna feel lost but I realize that maybe if I wasn't so afraid to get hurt or be emotionally attached thing will turn out better. You get what you give so to have it all you must also be willing to give it all.

Very well said. You are exactly right. It's been really the case of one loving too little and the other one loving too much. No matter how we see it, I think its natural for a relationship, even marriages to be that way. That there is always the one who loves the other more. I have been in relationships where I got my broken and I find it so hard to accept because of the fact that I think its just so unfair after I gave it my all and that I don't deserve it and that. It's a common issue that a lot of us women can relate to. But as we love, we get hurt and the learning process happens.. It's not that we don't give it our all for someone we love, it's just loving ourselves more. Giving ourselves importance and respect.. At least when we get to experience it the second time around, we now know what to do better to cope up with the break-up. As well as we are more prepared now. As this quote goes: "Train yourself to let go of the things you fear to lose. So that when they're gone, you won't feel dumb and pathetic all along" Best of luck to you.

I don't know if that is a big mistake? What I know is that to be in love or be love is a part of one's life. To be broken hearted is also a part of it so, no mistake when we love someone the fullest... The mistake there is to choose a wrong person that never consider the feelings of other but lust...

happiness is a choice. we simply choose to be happy even if we are not in a relationship. it's better to be single than to get married or be in a relationship with an unsuitable partner beause you'll be miserable in the end. it's really hard when you give it all in a relationship and the relationship didn't work out in the end because you'll have a hard time coping with the failed relationship. but time heals all wound and i also believe that its better to love and lost than never to have love at all. loving involves taking risk and there's that possibility that you'll get hurt in the process if your not in a loving relationship or if your paired with the wrong person. but i still believe that it can be avoided.

sometimes it is hard to measure a love. whether you like him much or he does. i found it is hard for me to control who should i love more, when i falling in love i will give whatever i can to my partner. of course, i want us to be good, but sometimes i found that it is enough for me to see that she is happy. if you know that you partner is live with happy, you will feel the same way too.

loving is already a mistake, don't you agree? especially when you love someone more than he/she loves you? besides, differences in views of love and ways of expressing it almost always leads to major, major... moreover, being in love is not insurance to happiness... another thing, how and what is it happiness?

The only mistake i did was love her lots and never ever said anything to her. I have been trying to be a good husband by giving all my love. I relaise that I should have lived my life also along with it.