My mom and dad do not want to see each other
By iDivision
@iDivision (1412)
Latvia
October 14, 2010 5:44am CST
It all began 15 years ago, when my father began to drink, beat mom and as a result they are both divorced. Mom moved to live elsewhere. I lived with both father and mother. For three days I was a mom on the other days at home with his father. That lasted lasted until I myself had a child. We moved to a new home and since that time I am visiting them at their home or call to visit me.
And here comes the sad part of this discussion - they never agree to come to visit my house when they knew that other will come too at the same time.
can you imagine that!? That menas that my and my sons birthdays and namedays we celebrating two times. of course thats great to have more parties, but that costs our time and money to prepare for them. especially time. Also it seems to be strange for the rest of guests because most them see only my father or my mother but never both of them at the same party.
Do you experienced something like this in your life?
2 people like this
7 responses
@sweetmary86 (822)
• Philippines
14 Oct 10
i guess it happens to alot of families and homes. things could terribly go wrong and up in broken homes. it must be hard on your part. i guess ur mom wasnt able to endure the physical abuse. im just lucky that i didnt have to experience my parents divorcing our family still intact.
2 people like this
@iDivision (1412)
• Latvia
14 Oct 10
Then you are very, very lucky :) Good luck to you and good health for your parents :)
@kaushalworks (22)
• India
14 Oct 10
Yeh I faced this thing. But now everything is normal in my house. You have to know what is the actual problem between them. The life is short so better to live happily. You should search on internet who to do in such situation? There must be some misunderstanding or any problem between them. Once the problem will be solved I think it will make them unite again.
2 people like this
@iDivision (1412)
• Latvia
14 Oct 10
there was some situation when i just said to both of them that if they will not come there will not be another party for the same event. last time it was my 30 years birthday and both of them come, but sat each in his own end of the table and did not speak a single word to each other.
1 person likes this
@CraftyCorner (5600)
• United States
15 Oct 10
The quandary of divorce and its effect on holidays is not new. The majority of children have divorced or blended families so the double party is one coping mechanism.
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Another reason for the double party coping mechanism is when relatives do not live close together, can't travel, what have you. Yet they wish to celebrate the occasion.
@iDivision (1412)
• Latvia
15 Oct 10
Double parties was my weekdays before, but from now i will simply force them to choose - they want to see me and be with my family or they will not came and thus will miss the whole celebration.
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Oct 10
Not happened to me ever because my parents love one other until my mom passed away more than 2 years ago. It's difficult to have parents who are separated. The worst thing if they have still temper both on their heart and they don't even want to see it's other. The most affected is the children like you. Imagine you can't make a party that both of them can attend. It's annoying if you have it twice so give way and for the sake on one of them. It's very difficult to handle this situation. I am hoping that time will heal their individual feelings and forget what happened in the past.
1 person likes this
@iDivision (1412)
• Latvia
15 Oct 10
Most of people dsay that time heal wounds, but still they are divorced 15 years, they doesnt live together already more about 17 years and still they both are such a persons who long-heldzol grievances from the past.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
15 Oct 10
Hi,
Since both your parents have got divorced,they feel awkward to
see each other again and you as their children have to understand
their feeling and just try not to make any arrangement for both of them
to meet up again together.
SOme people may still be good friend after divorce,but not all people
are able to do so.
1 person likes this
@iDivision (1412)
• Latvia
15 Oct 10
I dont think they can be friends anymore after agression in family back then. So the best solution for them is to not see eachother often or the opposite - to meet more often to understand that both have changed.
@rakadanda (100)
• United States
15 Oct 10
I do not experience the same thing as you, but my friends experienced the same thing with you, she's just like you lived with her father and her mother lived in another city. Sometimes his mother visited him but was not home that he and his father live at home but met his brother. At the time of his birthday, his mother did not come because his father there, he only accompanied by a father, brother, and his stepmother. He was very sad, and at another occasion his mother also had a birthday party for her at home but his brother, at that moment her grief a little less because his mother did not forget her birthday.
1 person likes this
@iDivision (1412)
• Latvia
15 Oct 10
Terrible situation. Although i always knew that my father is mostly to blame for this, so i lived most of week with him, but we did not communicate, so i always had feeling that i am scloser to my mother.
@anurag3786 (6267)
• India
14 Oct 10
Oh its very bad situation. I have read your discussion and as you say that you father comes home after drinking. And always beat your mom. So now they have divorced and live not with together. I think this situation comes in many families when there is no any understanding between husbands and wife. And also it’s caused reached on divorced and its bad effected on their child. So I think if situations in our hand then we always try to resolves problems in home and try to live with together without any tensions.
1 person likes this
@iDivision (1412)
• Latvia
14 Oct 10
yes, i agree that divorcing was the best what could happen back then. Attacks from father ended, my mom found new love and i havent seen such agressivity in my family anymore. Also my father dont drink anymore - he is different person now.
