Your Honest Opinion, PLEASE.

Yes, you have all the right in the world to be upset about it. Isn´t your son rational enough as to be able to talk about the subject? I understand that they are expecting another baby. How are they going to manage with a new baby and a school boy that has to be picked up? Is your daughter in law going to quit working? Is she going to take the newborn to the Winter ice to get her son? Do they think you are crazy or completelly handicapped? OMG!!! Isn´t it a pity that there is a time when you can´t give your children anymore the good spanking they deserve? I love you!!!

In a prep school of 40 pupils where my daughter goes to, there are five grandmothers and three grandfathers who takes their grandchildren to school. According to my wife, who takes our child to school, if not the grandmother, sometimes it is the grandfather who gets the privilege. Antiquelady, here in the Philippines, we consider it a big help when the grandparents are willing to lend a hand. Unless of course when obvious senility gets the better of the situation. I'm not saying you are. :-) My wife and I try to balance our act though, as grandparents tend to spoil their grandchildren. As one observant Philippine Senator once said: "Our job as grandparents is to spoil our grandchildren, it is their parents job to provide the discipline." You do have the right to be upset, being that you are not given any chance at all. Your son should try to understand a grandparent's yearning. This old folks' longing, to bask and play and be amused by a child's wonder and innocence. It is a joy that should not be kept from you, even if he thinks you have done him wrong. But having said that, forcing your son to do what he should be doing willingly, may only lead to more disenfranchisement. Be aware always that it is a privilege given you and that you have to respect your son's family. I do believe that you do respect them, since the way you share with us this situation, reads more of "disappointment" rather than "frustration" where a person tends to do something more. We will pray that your son may turn around soon and share you the joy of being a Grandma.

Of course you do. I have been through something like this with my daughter before over her kids. Then she changed her mind, but this has happened twice. I did not do anything to make her not let them be with me. She just gets made because they prefer to be her. I keep them for months on in and she gets made once in awhile and says they can not come to my house anymore. It changes because she needs me. I help her a lot. I'm the only one that does help her. I'd ask my son and DIL why the child can not come to my home? Do they have something against you? Tell them that you are upset that they don't trust you with your grandchild. If they say they do, then ask well why then can I not watch him and have some time with him while I am able to do so. Don't say it's to help them in anyway. Say that "you" want some time with him while your health allows it. That one day you may not be able to watch him. This way maybe they will tell you why they won't let you get him. But if they feel that it is thought that they can not do what is needed for their child then they will get defensive. But make it an issue about you not them.

Yes, I do. I don't know how to get them to change, but you most certainly have a right to be upset. They don't sound the least bit reasonable.

Yes, I most certainly do however, being that Ryan is their first born and only child - at the moment, they're probably being ridiculously over protective which isn't good for any child including Ryan. They need to loosen the apron strings a little bit or they'll have hell to pay because Ryan is going to start rebel against them in order to be heard. It's a huge mistake first time parents make and often but the one who suffers is the child. It's a very touchy subject for parents too and has to be broached very gently but yet, firmly. On the other hand, maybe they're afraid something will happen to you while Ryan is in your care? Maybe they want to protect him from that? Still, they have to learn that they can't protect him from everything because it's called 'life'. We all have to experience things in order to grow and with them shielding things from him is only making things worse for Ryan. Ryan is growing up.... he's not going to be a little boy forever. The sooner they learn this, the better off they'll be. So have a heart to heart talk with your son. It's the only way you'll know what exactly his or his wife's reasons are. I can't find any reason why it would be a personal reason because you're such a wonderful person!! Besides, you obviously did a great job in raising your son, right?

I really do not understand why they are refusing help. Your DIL is pregnant and if it were me I would be over the moon to have got some help. My MIL never once offered to help me with the children. She came one time to the farm to visit and my washing machine had broken down and I was 6 months pregnant with my second child and she sat there demanding a cooked breakfast and cooked lunch etc. I was trying to do the Diaper's by hand and my first son was under two years old. My husband then went out and got someone to come and help me in the house by doing the washing and heavy cleaning. I honestly do not understand their attitude but maybe when the second child is born then they will loosen up a little. I am sorry as they have hurt you again.

Yes, you are certainly right to be mad about your dil, and son.It is ridiculous, that he is not allowing you to pick him up from school.It is the same through out the world, whether it is in India or USA, the same trend happens. Of course on my part I never interfered in those things.Since we were living in a joint family, it was my mother and father who took more care of my first daughter, and she was very close to my father than me, and only after he passed away, she became close to me. Both me and my wife are happy about it, and we do not feel jealous. I am sorry to say, that your son is a fool. I hope you will excuse me for saying this, but I really feel very angry when I see such fools behaving in this way.

I do think this is sad, but I also don't think that pushing the situation is helping your cause. You have offered to pick him up, leave it at that. Now, if he complains about the cost of the drives, remind him that they could save the cost by letting the boy come to your house after school.

Have you asked your son, in a gentle manner, just why he won't let your grandson go to church or to the movies with you? He may have a valid reason. Be prepared to hear something uncomfortable. Whatever he says, don't argue with your son. I believe that I would be happy to have my mother or mother-in-law pick my child up from school and keep him until I got off work. However, Your son is the father. He is the boss, and you have no valid say in the matter. You can only pray about the matter. Don't let your grandson sense the tension between you and his father.

You have good reason to be upset. I recently watched a segment on a current affairs program about grandparents’ rights and divorce. When a divorce happens there is a custody arrangement in place for the child’s parents but the grandparents who may or may not see the kid again have no rights in regards to this which is really sad but it would be very difficult to set laws in place in this area. Maybe the grandma and grandpa should be allowed to apply for partial custody or something along those lines. My point is that most of the time the importance of a relationship with grandparents is underestimated and that can be a terrible loss for both parties. The only thing you can really do is talk to your son and daughter in law with the hope that he won’t get mad. It sounds as though the boy’s mother is very possessive toward him and she may be jealous of the bond you two share. It’s a shame and I am sorry you’re going through this…

Honestly...YES..you do. I can't understand why they won't let you have him more. There is no sense in that Jo..you should be able to spend time with that boy. I can't imagine how that must make you feel and all I can say is that I am so sorry that you don't get to have him a little more. It doesn't make any sense. I hope they come around and see the light on this.

Of course, you have every right to be upset with your grandson being kept from you. Any proud grandparent would be but as a young and new parent you have to consider the reasons why your son may be keeping your grandchild from you. A lot of times the grandparents like to step in and play the role as the parent. Parents don't like this. Think back to when you were a new parent. I'm pretty much sure you felt you had it all figured out and knew exactly how you wanted to raise your children and what you wanted to teach them and didn't want any outsiders, including your own parents, butting in and telling you what to do or not to do. Maybe your son still resents you for when he was coming up or notices that your way of parenting is not the way he wants to go. Through my personal experience I have had to deal with my child's grandmother being too overbearing, wanting to play the role of the parent and trying to force her views, opinions and beliefs on me on how to raise my child. Like I said earlier, no one likes this. Maybe you should find out from your son what the real root of the problem is. Does he not trust you? Or does he thinks that you spoil the child too much? The best advise that I can give is just to communicate how you are feeling with your grandson's parents and try to come up with a suitable compromise that will work for all of you. Good Luck!

I'd say you have every right to be upset with your son. I just don't understand why they wont allow your grandson spend time with you. Did something happen before? My daughter is ALWAYS asking me to take her 2 kids, not because she don't want them but sometimes it get stressful for her and she knows we love being together...I feel for you Hun at the same time cannot for the life of me understand why you cant be with him...so sad :(

DEFINITELY YES!.. you have the right to be upset to your son and dil. Anyways, I have to wonder why they won't let you take care of your grandson. Would it be because your somewhat like cruel or super strict mother during the early childhood of your son?.. I mean frankly speaking, maybe your son is afraid to let his child be taken care of you. Maybe he had a bad and cruel experience or should I say bad memories from you during his childhood that he doesn't want to happen it again to his child. Have you been a cruel mom?... Be honest...

Yes I do most parents would jump att he chance for grandma to take over for awhile . BUt I also have a grand son here that never comes spend the night but they aways want my grand daughtr to go over ther and spend the night!. ANd you picking him up sure would save her gas and as high as it is I would think she would think that way. Where does the boy play if mom is at work? if in the shop thas no place to run and jump like a normal kids like to do . Does he get to go outside and get fresh air? Just sounds silly not to let you have the boy for awhile!

Yes and I totally don't understand it...all I have to say is I want my little granddaughter and I can have her...I have even taken her for a weekend out of town! I get her whenever I want and now with hunting season here and my son's great love for hunting I even get to come over and take her to school once in a while and they live 20 miles away! And she is younger then your grandson!

Hi Antique, You have the right to be upset and you also have rights (legal ones) to spend time with your grandson! All that I've heard about your grandson just angers me! You would think your son would appreciate that you are available and willing to take your grandson after school rather than have him sitting around a salon getting bored! What is there for him to be angry about in that? I really don't understand. Kids need their grandparents just as much as they need their parents!! Good lord, my dad used to just show up randomly asking to borrow one of my kids to spend time with. I thought it was so cute. And my mother in law also used to quite often just show up to take the kids somewhere or do something. It never occured to me to say no unless we had other plans. Even after I divorced her son, she had all the time she wanted with the kids. I would never have denied them time with her. She was wonderful and my kids loved her to pieces.

OMG! Definately so right. I dont understand them. maybe you should have a calm talk with them about "Why?" you probably are the only person that loves him just as much as they do. im wondering if maybe the wife is jealous of you? it doesnt make any sense. i wish i could tell you what to do but im at a loss. any of my kids would gladly leave their kids with grandma and have often done so until i got so disabled. i think thios is being very unfair to you lady, and am hoping you can work it out with them

I must admit, I'm not a big fan of my in-laws as they do interfere at times because they have this "we know best" attitude. Having said all that, though, I am civilised towards them and do visit along with my husband from time to time. We all live in the same city so I guess it's not difficult. We don't have children either but if we did there's no way I would stop my in-laws from seeing their own grand-children. I sympathise with your plight and I wish I had an answer, I really do. Perhaps your dil is dominating your son and he's taking out his frustrations on you? This is unfair as well. I suggest you talk to him (preferably with the dil as well) as it will make matters worse if you go behind her back..and I should know!

YES YOU HAVE. It is a common case. Many sons are not sensitive toward their parents feeling; how their parents wait for their grandchild's born, how they are also worried and confused, how they really loves their grandchildren. Grandchildren means anything to grandparents, and vice versa. I hope you can get along with your grandson soon, friend.