8th yr into the relationship and still no wedding ring

If it's a mutual decision then there's no problem with it. Getting married because of the pressure from all around them won't do them any good. As long as they're both happy with their relationship now then just let them be. It would harder for them when they give in to the pressure only to find out later that the're not meant for each other.

Oh that's so true! I guess you're right.

That's what I was afraid of. I know I should be happy that they look happy, but you know when there's this nagging feeling at the pit of your stomach? I do hope I'm just being paranoid. I don't mean to overreact, I just don't want my best friend get hurt :-/

Yeah I can see your (and their) point on that. I just need some reassurance that it's not so much unusual anymore to be in a long-term relationship without being married. It's just kind of hard to understand..especially in our Catholic culture where marriage is such a big thing (heck even legislation for divorce has been pigeonholed forever). And goodness I've waited to the be the maid of honor for so long! lol. But they look okay with it, so I guess I should be..

I think you haven't checked my profile...I'm from the Philippines as well...and usually old people in our country prefer that couples you know lasts in a relationship for like years before they actually marry. I mean, that's what my mom advised me and my auntie's so that we could get to know our partner better. Like the saying goes, marriage isn't like rice that you could just spit out when you get burned.

I think I did, just didn't notice the country field kabayan. Come to think of it don't you think it's kind of frustrating how a quick marriage and a long-drawn unmarried relationship are both frowned upon here? It's almost like there's a prescribed shelf life for a relationship before it either should be plucked for matrimony or thrown out. Must admit I've been drilled into this thinking myself, that's why I found it odd to comprehend this other alternative ending in my friend's relationship.

Thanks for the reassurance :-)

Yeah, I have to give them credit for that.

Being there for her i am sure will mean a lot to her. We don't really know what they both really do think about marriage and what there future is. When we were kids, especially girls they often dreamt of the wedding day, the house, job, kids, perfect man, etc. Sure some people don't get married, very few though, but i wonder if the problem is with him? You have known your friend for many years, you should possibly know how interested in marriage she is. Maybe the relationship has just lasted this long because they are good together but at the start you don't think about marriage, but after this long together surely it has to of been mentioned, he may have said that he doesn't want to get married, she may feel very sad about this but think that she loves him and has been with him for so long that that is fine, but it's not really as she doesn't get the marriage. I hope she does get married, what woman doesn't want to?

Yeah I guessed as much. I'm just really worried it ends badly and she ends up more hurt because it's been such a long relationship. But I suppose that's part of life and living and growing up. Most I can do is be there for her.

Yeah, I see your point. Thing is I'll also end up doing the supporting in case things take a turn for the worse - but I guess that's part of the bff package. Just don't want it to end badly. Thanks for the assurance :-)

You right, it's unfair if you all things be bear to girls alone...Have a great day!

Er...guys can be pretty demanding too. And can deal the deathblow to relationship, as I've quite often seen. Not that girls don't either, but I think it's unfair to dish it all out against girls :-p Oh.. I see how you may see it now. No, I'm not pressuring a 8-year boyfriend to marry me. Besides the lack of one, this whole discussion was started based on a close chum's relationship. Not that she's forcing her bf to marry her either. They look pretty content with what they have, actually. I'm mostly just getting paranoid, and curious too as to how and why they're seem okay with that.

Kudos to you! :-D It's reassuring to hear something like that.

I really really hope that's true. And they look happy still, so I guess I should be happy with that too :-)

You're right. I'm just a bit concerned. But the other posts here have cheered me up a bit :-) Besides maybe I'm just being bitter and really have no business meddling (but I'm not! I just need to know if that's healthy/okay!)

That's nice to hear. Reassuring too. I guess they both believe the same thing.

I was just concerned...and a bit curious too. But yeah I guess you're right.

Say that to the manangs (that's what we call the old Church ladies who frequent the church in their veils and long dresses) who live across our street. Hehe. But yeah even just based on all the responses here I guess views on marriage has evolved so much in the past 50 years.

Thanks. I hope you and your friend are both in happy places. Take care.

That's great to hear, and I'm happy for you :-) I sure hope that's how the story ends for my friends too.

It's not me this is happening to, but a close friend of mine. But what you said is not really that comforting. Does that mean that he might be in a long-term relationship with my friend and yet see marriage potential in a different girl? Hmm...

Haha your father has a lot of sense, even if his English is not so perfect.

oops..grandfather ;-p

I love mylot as it does show many different sides of responses to some very interesting topics. I am happy that you have had some good responses from people on here. Who's responses stood out on here for you? Will you be taking note and following on any of the advice that they gave to you? Eight years really is such a long time to not atleast have an engagement ring on her finger. I guess the information from others may point you into the direction of what may needed to be said or done when it comes to your friend.

Yup. That's what I was thinking. But all the other responses here have been really helpful in giving me more insight into their relationship...relationships in general, actually. One of the reasons I so love MyLot :-)

Yeah, I guess we're all just brought up thinking what a great and grand thing marriage is without really understanding it. A lot of my friends' parents are actually separated or unhappily married, so I see the sense in waiting, even in opting not to marry altogether. I really love my friend (we're like soul sisters, lol), so I wish all the best for her.

P.S When I read the title of the post I thought it was going to be the girl in the relationship discussing this, not her best friend! LOL!

Hmm yeah I get that from a lot of people here...but our circle (and families) are still pretty much old-fashioned. I see the sense in not needing or wanting marriage now, though. :)