What are your opinions about de-gifting?
By bounce58
@bounce58 (17385)
Canada
December 20, 2010 2:36pm CST
As I was driving home from work last week, the guy on the radio was trying to explain his concept of ‘de-gifting’ this year. Instead of getting himself all worked up about getting a list, buying gifts, etc., he went on and approached all of his friends and made a pact with each of them. He promised not to get them any gifts, if they also promised not to give him any.
Granted that this guy was single and that he did not have any kids, I thought that his concept was pretty solid considering he was a bit famous, and so had many friends. I just thought that it is much easier this way if there were no gifts to exchange.
Also, the pact was necessary because if someone did broke the pact, and gave him a gift even if they don’t ask any in return, it would still give him the un-needed obligation to give a gift. Even if not now, but sometime in the future.
What do you think about this concept of de-gifting? Do you think it would be worthwhile?
1 person likes this
12 responses
@ladynetz (968)
• Canada
21 Dec 10
I think that this is a good idea if you're really broke and have problems bringing food on your table.
Otherwise, everyone should give something to his family, friends and co-workers. Even if it's only a chocolate attached to a self made card. Just to show you remember and care.
There are so many ways to give without costing a lot. Bake cookies and fill a plate for every one. Look for deals in the stores. You'll be amazed at how many cheap gifts you ca find closer to the date. Even if you buy from the Dollar Store, I think that what counts more is the touht, not how much you spend on the gift.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
22 Dec 10
You are so right ladynetz.
It is nice to feel that you've been thought off. Even if the gift is inexpensive. But sometimes, there are just people where the gift-giving exercise is just a chore. And for these people, I think it would just be better to de-gift.
@western_valleygirl (1363)
• United States
21 Dec 10
Well, it sounds like a pretty good concept. Several times I have told family and/or friends, I am not getting you anything, because I don't want to get you anything until I have the perfect gift, and so you will not be receiving anything from me.
Then, when I usually have a great gift, I send it to them or give it to them, when it comes along (many of them still get me gifts, especially my sisters and closest friends).
Also, what I have done in the past is treat friends or family members to lunch or dinner, so as not to worry about the type of presents to buy.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
22 Dec 10
I think the lunch or dinner is better alternative than the gifts. It spares people from the stress of figuring out what to give, getting it, wrapping etc. And the dinner could be 'easy' enough not to make people obligated when you end up paying for it.
Thanks western_valleygirl.
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
31 Dec 10
People can do whatever they want. Sometimes I can't afford to get people any gifts, so I tell them not to give me any. I don't really like giving gifts for Christmas to be totally honest. I think it causes more people stress than joy. I like to give gifts randomly, just because I see something I know someone will like and stuff like that. Giving gifts because your obligated to isn't really in the spirit of giving.
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
1 Jan 11
Sometimes the spirit of gift giving is misconstrued to be an obligation to give a gift, specially when you get one yourself. And that's why I don't like it too. And that's why I think sometimed de-gifting might just work. No stress, and kinder to the wallet.
Thanks.
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
21 Dec 10
Last night, somebody who I wouldn't really call a close friend came to our house and gave small gifts for the children, and one food gift for the family. Although I was grateful for the thought, now I'm stressed out because I now have to get something for their family too! When in fact they were not even on my radar!
I've just been obligated.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
23 Dec 10
I would actually have a very hard time accepting that something like this would be possible for Christmas. It isn't because of the fact that I expect to get gifts for Christmas, but instead it is because I enjoy the act of shopping for other people for the holidays so much. I love going to the stores and buying and I think that it is far better to give than to receive. I wouldn't even be able to make a pact like that with someone honestly.
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
27 Dec 10
For someone who's always around (a loving) family, I guess something like this is really not possible. Christmas would be a time to show how much we love and appreciate the people that we love, and this concept would just curb this opportunity.
But if we were single...
Then wouldn't this be worthwhile?
@arystine (1273)
• Philippines
29 Dec 10
I think it is kind of awkward... I like giving gifts to the people who means a lot to me and I don't expect a gift in return. It's my way of showing my appreciation. And there are also those who give gifts whom I feel sincere enough and just spreading the holiday cheer. :) My motto, at all times: It's better to give than to receive. :)
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
30 Dec 10
Hi arystine! It's been a while. Hope you had a great Christmas, and all the good things this coming new year.
I think if I were there, I also wouldn't think about de-gifting. Firts off, it isn't our nature (or even our culture). And there are a lot of really nice inexpensive things to buy there. Of course the only challenge is, how to get to these things, as it often involves going through a wave of people.
So, it is easier to be more in the 'giving spirit' there, not here though.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
21 Dec 10
i think it is quite a good idea... it really depends on the person who you make the promise with... i think i had done it once in the past as well when i am really tight on money and it works pretty well for me... the other thing that i do is to give the gift that i receive to another person if i really don't need it... take care and have a nice day...
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
22 Dec 10
Hello lingli_78.
I think that's the way to go. You could start out with one person, one Christmas. And then expand your network of 'de-gifters' every year.
Or you could re-gift as you say. Just make sure that the gift doesn't end up with the original giver!
@uath13 (8192)
• United States
21 Dec 10
Actually my cousin & his family have the same thing going with my family. He can't afford to do much & would feel bad if we gave him presents which he couldn't recepricate. Saves me a little money & trouble trying to figure out what to get them too so it's all good. The whole gift giving thing has gotten out of hand anyways. I shouldn't have to dip into my morgage money for a holiday ( but don't have much choise with my wife around 
).
).
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
20 Dec 10
Hello bounce.
I can understand his idea in this matter, but he reminds me of Donald from "Twice upon a Christmas - Disney's cartoon" when he had only the desire to spend the Christmas alone, with a hot cup of chocolate and not stress about presents or caroling - in a way it is a bit sad. It doesn't matter what it is in the gifts, it is the intention that counts - i can understand he was a bit famous, but non the less i doubt he had many true friends - one should keep gifts for true friends, family, and the needy, not all the buddies he knows in a bar for instance.
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
21 Dec 10
I'm not sure if I saw that show, but as per your description, it does sound a bit sad.
But I'm sure this guy will not celebrate Christmas alone. He still has parties to go to, but just no stress of getting gifts for everybody.
But I agree that he should at least give to the needy. Which he might have already, but just doesn't tell everybody about it.
Thanks.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
21 Dec 10
Personally I see this working out well if per say all were in agreement. I would not have a problem with someone saying to me that we should de-gift if it were due to financial purposes. This I can certainly understand and appreciate as I would not want to hurt someone's feelings if they could not gift and felt bad if I did.
I would certainly improvise in a person's situation as I mentioned above by inviting them over for a nice dinner.
@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
21 Dec 10
My opinion is that this method would works fine and well for me as I don't always have extra money to buy gift for me friends. It's only really enough for my family members, and not that I don't want to give any gift but I just can't afford. This de-gifting method is definitely worthwhile to try hehe. Thanks for sharing and have a nice day
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
22 Dec 10
I think if a lot more people did this, then we would discover the real meaning of Christmas. And people wouldn't be more materialistic. I know it would be hard, specially for children, but if more and more people went for this idea, I think it would be worthwhile.
Thanks.
@ujahrmann (43)
• Austria
21 Dec 10
I think that de-gifting can indeed save you money, and you don't have to deal with that stress to buy presents and the stress in the shops etc. It is something different, something unique if you celebrate Christmas that way, but I am not that type I think. I like to get presents, it is a tradition for me and my family.
