Exes weighing heavily on your mind?

Yes. I feel that at times it is unavoidable. I still sneak on their facebook accounts. But this is the result of total boredom, nothing serious.

yes. last Febuary, my first husband had part of a lung removed over cancer. hes the father of this one i live with and 2 of my other kids. except he lives in Ohio and im here in az. I had to keep emailing my daughter to find out how he was, since this son here holds a bit of a grudge over his dads second wifes kids with him. because they've been together 38yrs and of course his dads done more for the ones he lived with and raised. i mean, son will talk to him if his dad calls but i couldnt get him to call just to see how he was and i didnt feel comfortable calling...you know, what would i say? his wife used to be very jealous of me. i of course dont love him in that way any more but i do care, you know?

no i haven't actually... i am the type of person that tend to forget easily once i finish a relationship with somebody... especially if it is a bad experience... i don't ever want to remember it again... sound a bit harsh, isn't it??? but that's me... take care and have a nice day...

I guess this happens to all of us, just like that!!! I’m married for 14yrs now, very much in love with hubby and a perfectly happy life in every sense. However, in my late 30’s, I think midlife boredom is catching on with me…of late, I’ve been thinking so much about my first love (way back in school, a calf-love really when I was around 11/12) that I’ve actually been dreaming about him, imaging things with him (that never happened) and mulling over what would have happened had that relation actually blossomed! I know where he works so about a few months back, I actually went over to that place just to catch a glimpse of him…I was actually dying to know what he looks like now!!! Silly, immature, childish gestures and I know that I’m actually fishing in trouble waters unnecessarily. I know it’s a passing phase and I don’t want to fan it further but the temptation is just too much sometimes. I think it’s the same with you…you’re happy, you’re in love and life is perfect in every way possible…only you wish for some spice…I think its best if you just stay off! It’s a most unfortunate situation when a father loses 2 kids and he’d be particularly susceptible to lean on sympathetic shoulders…however, the chances are just too much that it would adversely affect your family life.

I am sorry to hear that, that is very sad. I can see why you would be thinking of him and concerned about him. Since he is your ex though and it has been years since you have talked to him it might be a bit inappropriate now to try and talk to him and help him. But certainly send prayers his way. I have no ties to any of my ex girlfriends, except for my childhood one who I am still friends with and who my wife is friends with and we are friends with her significant other. If something happened to her like that I would be very concerned as well and try to help her, and my wife would be right along side me. We have always been in contact though and there are no romantic feelings between us at all.

I never thought. I better forget all that because that then let go and welcome the new with a happy heart so as not to think of it. because if it occurred so that we can not be born and inner calm. and that there is only thought about it and maybe our brains might become dizzy thinking about it.

I have this ex who has been a friend even before we became a couple and still friends even after breaking up. Now, they're even friends with my husband too. But, yes, there was a time when I felt really concerned about him when he went through an awful relationship(the one who came after me). He was a seafarer and while he was away with his work, he sent his girlfriend to school with his money and was sending her money every month. They were almost like living together and so he thought the woman was pregnant with his kid. A few months after his contract offshore was about to end, he was informed that the girlfriend had a miscarriage. He was so devastated since it was gonna be his first baby. He was more devastated when he came home and found out about the truth that all the while he was away, his woman was also spending time with another man who was the one that gotten her pregnant and not my ex. It was really, really such a cruel thing to do knowing my ex to be such a loyal and sweet guy. My heart really went out to him. I don't think there's anything wrong with us feeling the way we do for our exes. Especially with relationships where you've remained friends even after you've ended being a couple.

Once in a while, but it's usually something about something that was said or done that could have been done better. And I am trying really hard to learn not to dwell on stuff that I can't undo.

I have an ex that I was with for only 3 months a ways back. We were friends for years before but being a couple we just didnt work so we split up and remained friends. While my husband and I were living in South Carolina, I got a phone call from my mom in April of 2006 saying my best friend from back home called her and told her that my ex had passed away! I wasnt sure of how to take it and I didnt want to believe it until I read the obituary. Ever since then I cant seem to get him off my mind. My husband could never stand him and disliked him for everything. So it's hard to share my feelings with him. My ex was a really good friend and knowing he passed was really hard since I hadnt seen him for almost 2 years and I hadnt talked to him in about 6 months at the time. I visit his grave from time to time and it's still hard to this day to believe he really is gone.

Dorann- I suppose now and then a few of my ex's come to mind. One that comes to mind every now and then is a guy I only went on one date with. He was my manager's brother and very good looking. He was a bit of a "bad boy" and yet ran his own company. Another one that comes to mind is a Marine I met when I was in my dating years after my divorce. It was just a one night date but I do wonder if he made it back, etc. I try not to spend too much time thinking about the negative side of being a serviceman. I dated quite a few soldiers after my divorce, as I lived in a base town, and I just hope that all of them came back safely. Namaste-Anora

I suppose his loss has somehow softened your heart to the point that you have continually thought about him. It seems that back in the day when you two dated he must have been a caring person, to where your condolences and feelings about his loss must be really weighing on your mind. No, sorry to say I do not have a single memorable ex that I can honestly say that one day it would enter in my mind, as unfortunately the few exes I have had caused me so much pain that I force myself to block them from mind. It is a sweet and innocent feeling to have but unfortunately none for me. I am truly sorry to hear about his loss as well my condolences to him and his surviving son. Really sad to hear about this.

The moment i got married i never thought of any of my exes anymore. Though i can say that my marriage is not perfect, it never crossed my mind to be thinking of my exes. I guess on your part, you might be pitying him so much because he was once a part of your past and feels that you should have done something to ease the pain he might be feeling. That's understandable. Maybe, had one of my exes suffered the same sad fate and i have known about it, i too would feel heavily for him. It's generally a human nature to emphatize.

I dont think so, since it's in the mind. My answer is NO.

yes, i have. my first love, actually, lol. but i'm just glad that phase in my life is finally over because there's so many other important people and things in my life that needs my real attention, present and future. i'm so sorry, though, to hear about your ex-boyfriend's loss. i hope he'll come off it a stronger person.

I guess feelings for exes never really go away. They just stay at the back of our minds, asleep, until some circumstance or opportunity wakes them up. Maybe you were just feeling this because of what happened, and being a parent yourself, would actually know what it would feel like to loose a child. Like I said/wrote, those feelings just hide on my head. And once in a while, they get awakened by a memory, or an object that reminds me of the relationship. It would weigh down on my head for a few days, until something else pressing comes up.