Friends and life

Hi dear, This is the way the life goes. Once we are engaged and fully involved, the importance moves to something else. Friendships are more close when we are together and regular in communication. But as you said, you were involved in something and at the same time they also got job, studies etc, they also become short of time when they already busy with real life matters. When life encounters with actual and factual matters, the time is to be dedicated to it. While involved in full time work, we may not able to entertain friends and that company. It automatically cuts off. But as you said, for birthdays and celebrations, if they are available, they could have come for it. Also, even if we cannot meet directly each other, there are facilities like phone calls or SMS and emails etc. So, if someone really have a wish and prefers to continue the real friendship, they can use either of the communication methods. Still, don't feel bad, because when we come face to face with real life matters, it really matters to life. But for a real friendship, these obstacles are just an excuse only. If anyone want to make a communication, it is not so difficult in these days. Now understand from this, what is friendship and true friendship. Thank-s

Hello Elitess, here people say "old old friend is much better than two new friends", but i'm not so sure of that, because since i moved in new city all of my old friends, who i shared my days with, nearly forgot me. We don't see each other, we don't chat or talk with each other so often, only around the holidays they remember that i'm existing and they greet me. What a friendship is that? Are we alive only around the holidays? Or our life freeze in all other moments? So i cut my friendships with people, who are not interested how i live in the other time than the holidays. I got hard moments, it was specially when this year started, when i moved to live with my boyfriend and his parents. I wasn't able to check how are they, but now i'm free all the time for them - to call me, to write me, to connect with them. It looks that not only mine, but their life changed a lot too ... Few days ago i was talking with an old and great friend of mine and we shared together that we wish to turn back time when everything was interesting and funny. Now we all have problems and it's easy for us to loose each other.

I think that everyone has the same problem. When we grow up, start to work, have kids and families, it seems there is no time left for our friends. Like in my case I moved countries this year, and I haven't seen my friends also since summer and don't really know when I am going to see them again. But I try to call them from time to time on skype or phone. When I was back at home I made tea parties on Saturday evenings. Not all my friends could make it each time, but at least some of them could. You need to work on your relationships with friends, otherwise you can lose them.

You know it was hard to maintain friends real or online. We cannot please everybody as we know this since we started to have friends. We had a different taste of likes and dislikes. Some friends are stick together rain or shine and others are not. We must accept the reality of life. Now as based on my experienced my true friends are my own family and best friend is Jesus. But we can try our best to have our friend closer to us and stick to them as long as we can. One thing i always do is loving them. I know you can still win your friends.. Happy New Year!

hello elitess! I believe that true friends will always be true friends no matter the distance and the length of time you haven't seen each other. In our busy lives, it is just understandable that we will get lost in touch with our friends especially if we have different callings in life and live in different parts of the country or the world for that matter. It is also natural that you will seldom have a get together but nevertheless if you're really friends and is determined to be that way, we would somehow find means and ways to communicate sometimes, especially on special occasions of each others' lives. In this modern world we live in, gadgets abound which could connect us to our family and loved ones in a matter of seconds. That is why, even if we live far from each other, we still get updates from each other from time to time through cellphones or emails and chat messages online. If you're the old fashioned type, you can resort to sending snail mails or if you want it faster, use the emails. Distance today does not really hamper good and genuine friendships. Although our being busy could put a damp on our frequent bondings, still it does not totally eradicate the possibility of maintaining the friendship. If you want to maintain old friends, keep tabs on them, send them cards, old fashioned cards, during birthdays and other special occasions to let them know you care and remember. It's good to add new ones but it would be advisable to keep old friends since you had been together for sometime and had gone through some stuff which you might not experience again with other people.

hello eliteless, Having bunch of friends is really fun but sometimes in our busy life we forget to have bonding with them but i do believe that even how busy the person can be he/she can still find time to remember her/his friends. Mobile phone is one good invention to communicate with other persons, even you find another friend sticking with the old one is better. :) Just keep in touch with them, try to find time just make sure they are worth it for what you are going to do. :) have a nice day!

I am still very much in contact with one or two of my real world friends. We often go out or travel overseas on vacation. In actual fact I don't have that many close friends and the one that I am with often is a rare breed of friend that I have. I have more virtual friends than real world friends. I don't even know where all my friends are now, I mean my former college mates. I found few of them in facebook but have not met them personally since we graduated from college. Of course there are few new friends that I met and I do meet them sometimes during functions.

Most of my friends are far away. I email them, call them on the phone (and they call me) and send them cards on the holidays. I make sure they are reminded of me at least once a month! When you and your friends talk about getting together, have several dates, times and places in mind instead of just vague promises. When people are presented with options, they will usually choose one.

People come and go in life. You can be close to someone and not se them for years whilst others you see regularly but they are never your confidante. I don't think that there's a formula for it. Just let it go with the flow and you'll find that it all balances qute happily eventually.

hi elitess well for me after I retired from working for 23 years with a great group of women out of sight out of mind,. they all said at my farewell lunch we will keep in touch with you. uh huh. sure,. I called a dozen times nobody there,. and did I get any calls no, they had their own families and I was a widow and elderly. some how those friendships all went by the boards. oh when they met me in Larwin Square shopping I got a hug and we talked. but nobody ever phoned me at all. so since then I have made new friends who do talk to me.i suggest you make some new ones too who will have time for you.

Hiya! We meet people everyday and we call them as friends eventually. But there are those people that after a while, would just leave and move on to other things in their lives that may not involve us. Those kinds of friends may be a lot but there are just those select few who will stick with us through to the end no matter what and no matter where we are or they are. It is said that these lifetime friends are those that you have known the longest and have kept constant touch. I try to be there for my friends and help them in any way that I can. Communication is key in keeping up a friendship. You dont have to go out everyday or see each other for most of the week. But as long as you are updated with each other, I think your friendship would definitely last.^_^ Happy New Year!^_^

When life gets busy it's hard to keep in touch with friends at times. As you get older and are married with children it's going to change even more dramatically. Try to make a call once in a while to your close friends just to let them know you still want to be in their life.

I tend to think that real friendships can withstand times away from each other. For example my best friend moved to another town a couple of years ago and consequently we did not speak any more for the longest time. She came back a few months ago, came over to see me and it was like we have never been apart!Everyone is buy what can you do?

Unfortunately I have also experienced the same situation. As soon as I graduated from high school I started college and working and slowly started seperating from my friends. I mean don't take me wrong we still communicate once in a while over the phone, but most of the time either texting, instant messaging or through Facebook. It has gotten even more difficult 15 years later, with a family, work and kids to have any nights out, I just can't simply find the time for it. I think the last time we went out was maybe 6 or 7 months ago. But even though you may not see each other as often as you would like, you can always keep that friendship alive by communicating with them.

Hi elitess, We are all working harder these days and have not time for leisure, which is sad because having fun, sometimes is healthy. Being a workaholic can be hazardous to our emotional and physical health. I was going to suggest that you and your friend arrange a social gathering date, and keeping it, where you all can come together and relax, however, you said that you have tried to invite them to different functions such as your birthday party and they still did not have the time. Maybe a set of new friends would not be a bad idea; not that you will be giving up your old friends but you do need to have some companions that you can hangout with. I suppose you do already have those friends in place, because you said you had a birthday party, hopefully you did have friends there. I hope things slowdown for your and your friends so that you can have some social contact.

I believe friendship, like any other relationship, needs a lot of communication or atleast frequent communication. It doesn't have to be meeting up everyday but just checking out on each other from time to time, texting each other, calling each other or setting up atleast once a year (if you guys are that busy) a time and day to just hang out and have coffee together especially during the holidays. I know it sounds easy to say than do but if you guys really are good friends then you wouldn't have any problems trying to connect with each other. That's why most social network sites want us to join their sites because we can use it to "connect" and get in touch with our friends, family and other people we want to get in touch to. But anyways, I still believe in keeping the old friends than find new ones. If you believe with all your heart that your old friends are worth keeping for then there's nothing out there that will stop you from trying to reach out to them and vice versa.