Together or Apart...

I think the problem is that sleeping apart is seen as trouble in the marriage or a lack of love. If that's how you feel you need to try to get over that. Sure, it's nice to have your spouse there but not if you're suffering for it. Some couples even have separate rooms and get along very well and are happy. I was always happy when my now ex-husband was away because that meant I got a good night's sleep. Even if I slept in the living room I could hear his snoring, it was like a train was running through the house. He refused to see anyone about it so for almost twenty years my sleep was disturbed. Now I enjoy living in my own house, my own bed. I haven't escaped the snoring though, my Boston Terrier is nearly as bad as my husband was! At least he stops after a time, though.

I sleep much better without my husband. He has sleep apnea and it's pretty bad. He had a sleep study done and was prescribed a CPAP machine so he breathes better when he sleeps. The bad thing about that is that he rarely uses it. Even when he does put it on before going to sleep, he half-wakes up and takes it off and refuses to put it back on. I know that sleeping without the machine has to be more comfortable but he doesn't sleep well without it and I most definitely don't sleep well when he doesn't use it. He wakes me up with his insanely loud snoring. So, I turned another bedroom into my "other" bedroom. I was using it as a craft room but, in order to keep my sanity and quite possibly to keep my husband alive (from me not killing him), I had to put a bed in there. The sad part of that is, unless I turn on a fan or something that makes continuous noise, my husband's snoring STILL keeps me awake! He's so loud that he's even caused me to wake up when he fell asleep in the living room and I was in bed on the other side of the house. Yeah, I most definitely sleep better without him.

Personally I far prefer to sleep alone, I am very restless in bed, like to spread out too, I also generate heat, it's worse in the Summer, because I get really sweaty and having someone else in bed with me makes things ten times worse. Even when was in relationships I would long to have the bed to myself. In truth I just don't like sleeping with anyone, I guess I could seem selfish, I like to relax and that's something I cannot do if someone is in bed with me, guess I've always been like that and that's another reason of hundreds that I am single.

I admire your tenacity, twoey...but honestly, I stopped sleeping with hubby when my son was born. A raucous snorer, he was..with stetorious breathing that woke me constantly...seriously fractured sleep! My son was born with health issues, and I had to stay healthy to look after him...so it was imperative, that I accumulate what little sleep I could! After we were divorced..he met and married two other women, and their greatest complaint...HIS snoring! Throughout 12 of our 14 years of marraige, I felt badly...and selfish, but felt a wee might better when two other women could not stand it, too. It was only after three divorces that he took matters into his own hands, and now has a breathing machine, too! Cheers!

hi twoey i was the one with allergy and snoring so my poor husband got us twin beds and really we both slept better and when we wanted to snuggle , you get the idea, the beds swung back and latched., then later we unlatched so we could both sleep. Our love life never suffered at all and we both slept better too.I have to sleep alone as I am allergic and do snore yet although I take benadryl each night so I can breathe clearer. I am a widow now but have a roomie who thinks we should go to bet at 7 but I insist on my ten p m bedtime.

I have the worst time sleeping with my honey. He snores, talks , rolls around and steals my blanket after his ends up on the floor. Sometimes I think he's possessed cause all the noise he makes in his sleep. We only have a 1 bedroom otherwise I would get up in the middle of the night and go in the other bedroom. I'm always tired cause I wake up constantly

Unless his job prevents it, I want to be beside my husband. I was married to a trucker during my first marriage and it made a difference that he was gone all of the time. We do not miss nights together except in an emergency.

well, no partners, but I do miss the cats...

Hello dear, My parents have been together for over 25years, and i know for sure that for the last 5 at least they have not sleep together, because of sounds, different time tables going to work and real high activity during sleep (feet moving and hitting :) ). They would want to sleep in the same room but in different beds. I for one and my girlfriend Anca like sleeping together, and when we were faced with the 2 bed option in the Greek hotel 2 years ago, we united the beds to sleep in the same one. We have been together for over 3 years now, so our relationship is still young, but in the nearby future we still want too. We don't live under the same roog yet, so there are times when we also sleep alone, so i can't say we can't sleep without each other, but we do like sleeping together.

Strange you bring this up now as I just saw on the news that something like 80% of the new houses being built in America have 2 master bedrooms as the husband & wife just cannot share one. I was shocked that the number was that high!!!! Personally, I'd prefer to sleep with my Honey!!! However, I can understand why some choose not to!!! I'm a snorer & I wake myself up many times during the night & sometimes wish I could go get in another bed just so I can get away from myself!!! I can't imagine what it would be like laying next to me!!! My hubby was a snorer & if i fell asleep before he began snoring I usually didn't wake up. However, if for whatever reason I was awake when he began snoring, I got NO sleep!!!! My aunt & uncle have been married for almost 70 years & they sleep in separate beds because he snores so freakin loud. I used to think she could sleep with him if she chose to...that is, until they visited one weekend. She slept in the room next to me & he slept on the sofa on the far end of the house. He snored soooo loud that he woke me up & I never got back to sleep. When they travel, they sleep in separate hotel rooms & she requests room where his bed isn't sharing the wall with her bed. I've never heard anybody snore like he does...not even me!!!!

I know that my partner would rather sleep together and not sleep alone. she would miss me. I also perfer to be with her as well. I love being with her in the bed at night. I don't think we could sleep in seperate rooms.

Hiya twoey, Suppose it could be a good thing to have separate Beds if you really needed too. Maybe you could get a Couch that doubles up as a Bed Settee. If not and you think that you won´t sleep anyway without him I don´t know. Is there no way you can get the Machine repaired or another one newer than that one? I know what it´s like to be kept awake too and the next Day you can feel really awful as well. However if you can get along fine like you are now then that´s it. Me myself would gladly sleep apart a few hours sometimes but then I do miss him and go back again because I can´t sleep anyway.

It is really sad to have to go through sleeping separatelly. My fiancé is worried he snores I don't think it's loud or even that I have any trouble sleeping because of it.

I know what that's like. I've always slept with my sister, no pun intended. But we were growing up, and she was starting to talk more and more. She spoke in a language I couldn't understand, and that freaked me out. Mom placed us in separate beds, and now that we've grown so much, we're in separate rooms. But that's my sister. My partner... Well... I like having my partner in bed. But hey, I guess I'm the one who talks, rolls, and ends up with a mouthful of carpet in the morning.

Yeah, we still sleep in the same bed after nearly 23 years. Sometimes he snores, sometimes I do. He frequently gets up in the night or can't sleep so he tosses and turns but we're still there.

either or is fine with me,but one thing i insist upon is separate covers. i do not like the 3am cold butt at all.and i'm not fighting all night about it. my blanket.get out.

i think he should get his breathing machine replaced. he may need it for medical purposes. this in turn would make him get his rest and you would sleep better. i think if you have to sleep apart to get your rest it may be beneficial. i think it would depend on the couple and there feelings about it whether to sleep in bed together or apart.

Sometimes a couple have to sleep in separate beds in order for both to get the rest that they need. I have to sleep in the other room because the bed is much firmer than the one in our bedroom. When my back gets to hurting, I sleep on the firmer bed because it's better for my back. Some couples sleep in separate rooms because one of them snores or one of them is restless or whatever the reason, it's up to the couple how they want to do things. Now my question to you is, isn't it dangerous for your husband to go without his breathing machine? He could stop breathing during the night. My husband has a breathing machine too and God forbid if his machine breaks down but then again our insurance will cover him with a backup.

I honestly don't think that I would be able to fall asleep without my husband next to me. We've been together for nine years and in that time there have only been about 10 nights that we have been apart (most of these were just after my grandmother passed away). Even when my son was born and I was in the hospital and he was at home with our daughter, it really did give me anxiety that he wasn't right there next to me.

Well, i heard about this kind of things, my family's couples never tried to sleep apart. It is a custom from another era. I believe that it was done by married couples in the XIX'th and early XX'th century, when after having children it was considered impolite to sleep near your wife/husband. Each needed their privacy and the intimate relationship in the first place was purposeful and unpleasant. But in our days, seems that sleeping together is mostly a way of showing and feeling closeness to your partner. In fact, many couples, myself and my boyfriend included, seem to feel "the need" of sleeping together and holding the other in ones arms. It's a feeling of comfort and security that we enjoy. Still, if medical or comfort issues appear, than i believe sleeping apart is the right thing to do, but than, in daytime the couple should try to show their love and closeness, things that their unconscious minds would have felt during the night if they could have slept together :)