What do you do

hi dorannmwin, really sorry to hear about friend and i would say thanx to you because you are doing very nobal cause.in the condition like this your friend must need someone to stand by her.and you have offered her every support so she gonna feel good from inside even she does not ask you for anything for me you have given her very much. i am also like you only i never hesitate do anything for my friend and friendship.thats why i got good friends in my group.

While my life , the thing that I fear so much is lost any people around me . What's a terrible thing ! :-( I feeling stinging pain in my hurt when I read your discussion ! Anyway I pray for your friend . Let beside her and make her feels more comfortable ! Please mollify her soul :-)

The first thing that popped into my head is make her dinner. Make a large casserole or something and bring it over to her. With all that's going on she may not feel like cooking and might not be eating properly. When you bring the casserole over, if she invites you in, check out the state of the house. If you see that it could use some cleaning up.. do it for her. I don't know if she has kids or not, but I know if it were me dealing with this sort of stress I'd be so greatful to have a night of no cooking or cleaning. Also if she has kids perhaps you could take them for her for a few hours. Bring them to a park or somewhere just to give her a few minutes to herself to breathe or weep or whatever she needs to do. If she doesn't have kids, maybe you can call her up and invite her to lunch or out for a cup of coffee. Getting her out and about might get her mind off things, or maybe she'll be thankful for the shoulder to cry on. While you're out you can prompt her about things she might need help with. She'll probably start complaining "Oh I have all this to do and don't feel like doing it.." that's where you chime in..

Sometimes just being there when they need to talk is alot of help. And little things do mean so much. Things maybe they wouldn't thing of and need done or some spa stuff like soap and luffa. A card saying I am thinking of you. Just be there for her and that is what freinds do. I am sort of in the same boat with a friend of mine too. It is tough feeling helpless and wanting to help.

i think there issome one in trouble or having a bad time, love is the one which can console them and give a little courage and try to recover from that particular trauma. if your friend has lost someone she love the most she need is the love and support and that is what a friend can offer, may be there is a need for other daily consumables which is a secondary and need it later. so support is the one which can help your friend according to me, hope your friend recovers soon.

Most of the time, just being there is a tremendous help. While at her house, pick up, clean the kitchen, off to talk if she wants to.....just be there to help her with the people that are going to be coming to her house. It sounds like you are a very good friend. She is lucky to have you.

Hi Dorannmwin I think you are already doing a lot ......you are there for her, she is not alone, she knows she can turn to you when she needs to and that is a lot I am so sorry to read this and I know that your Friend will need your Strength to get through it all I will keep her in my thoughts

dorannmwin, I am giving credit where credit is due especially when what you have done for your friend is indeed both admirable and commendable. “A friend is someone who, upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer.” Kudos! I am sure your friend is grateful for what you've done so far - keep it up!

I think letting her know if she needs anything that you'd be happy to help her out is well enough. I asked a friend for one thing ever when my mom was dying and she let me down... almost 2yrs later and it still bothers me and I keep my distance from her.

hi dorannmwin I am so sorry your close friend has had so much unhappiness 'in her life now. I was just thinking when I lost my own husband , he was on life support following two major heart attacks. I came back to work soon as I needed some familarity in my life again. Whiel they had a special dinner and a present of two hundred dollars to help with rent and all. the most helpful thing for me was little elderly library bookclub volunteer who just came over to me and enveloped me in her aarms in a bear hug. Nothing said but warmth flooded me and I felt more comforted than any other gesture from anyone. She whispered" we are all here for you." I felt so blessed to be loved by my fellow coworkers in a world where so many crews are not close at all. I guess what I am trying to say is just being there in any capacity you can will be so appreciated.

When I have friends or family who have been through a life-changing event like these, I try to think of what I would want someone to do for me were I in the same situation. Something as simple as washing up dishes would be of great help. Baby sitting, house cleaning, doing grocery shopping, offering rides to and from places for tending to errands or even hanging around to help handle 'guests' who will be coming around. Often people just want to not have to meet and greet others and need some alone time. You could be of help by letting the 'others' know if this is the case. I think it is admirable of you to want to help in some way. She is probably not asking because she doesn't know what she needs at a time like this. True friends will understand this and will do just what they see that needs to be done.

im not sure. just be there for her if she wants to talk about it, cry on your shoulder, whatever. take some food like a snack tray over to her house and encourage her to eat a bit. she may not be thinking of keeping her strength up right now.

It is very kind of you to want to help. I am disabled, and people always say if I need anything let them know. I don't usually do that. It has been my experience that if someone just offers to do something, I am more likely to accept. So just telling your friend to let you know what to do might not work. If you can see or think of something she needs just tell her you will take care of it. Spend time with her, she will probably need someone to talk to. If she has kids maybe you could watch them for awhile. Take her food, she probably won't feel like cooking or eating, but she will have to.

I'm sorry for the loss. I think the only thing you could do is be there for your friends. When they are ready to talk about it, they will come to the one there to support them. Just let them know that you are willing to do whatever it takes to help them get through their difficult times. It's hardlosing someone that you love. It helps when you have someone there to talk to.

Personally I would just want to be there for support if they needed to talk and just offer them a word of encouragement and let them know I am praying for them and their situation. Lately at work I have known coworkers who have lost loved ones due to cancer, old age, and even violence. Most of them are not Christians and try to blame God for their loss. All I can do is Pray and encourage and allow time to take it's course and hope they are a better person in the end.

Call and check on them, or stop by and just listen. It sounds like she is going to need a sounding board. Whatever you do, don't stay away because you don't know what to do. Let her know that you are there for her. She probably doesn't know what she needs, she is just going through motions.

many times it happens in life that we can't do anything even after willing to do something for our dear ones so that they come out of that pain....its very strange situation that we can just see them in that condition and can't do anything,....

I would just be there for support. And I mean doing the little things that nobody would even think of. That your friend may have no time for as their mind is some place else. Like minding their house, taking care of their kids or pets(if they have), cooking and making sure that they eat. And of course offering the shoulder as necessary.

Doran,I think your friends need three things in the days to come . 1. Prayer. 2. Comfort and suppotive manner from frineds like you.3. 3. Money. since they have lost so many things in the fire.There are just so many tradgedy in this world and if we can see it and do something about it., I think this cold world will still have love to warm it up a bit.I think you are doing your good job so far and kepp up your good work.May God comfort your friends family and heal their hurt inside.

I so sorry to hear that!Like you said,when his best friend in trouble and they can not provide help,this is really uncomfortable.Buat I think you tried your best,your friend will understand,even if you just be with him only!