One of the Owners:"How are you?" Me:" Fine"

Hello Mrs Hatley, how are you and so you know I am fine. lol.. kidding love the discussion. I think out of respect we always tend to say I am fine because really while the person is being courteous they really do not want a list of what is wrong with us. But true about the power of the positive thinking as my thoughts incline into believing that a courteous greeting is a positive sign.

Oh, oh, I'm late getting in here. Mainly because I've been having to take more time outs. I try to use positive thinking but sometimes it just doesn't work. A lot of the time when I'm asked how I am, I say fine because I don't think people really don't want to know. I think it's just a form of greeting anymore. I have gone into my current litany of aches and pains and then watch their eyes glaze over, so I know they couldn't have cared a bit about my feelings. And to some, I've even said, "You don't want to know." Then wait for them to breathe a sigh of relief.

I think it is just good manners because alot of times, we do not want to go in detail and tell someone how we truly are. One, we do not want to bore or burden them with it and two, they may not want to hear it.

Nah, I don't believe that stuff. I think you were moaning about being sleepy cause you were sitting and hadn't gotten going yet. Your knee hurt for the same reason. Plus...that is what you were thinking about at the time. Once you got going and got DISTRACTED from being sleepy and knee hurting...you forgot that is what you were thinking about, your body got in gear and you felt better simply because you got on with life! Personally I hate it when people ask those words. Especially when they are strangers or just passing by. I know they dont' care how I feel and if I did tell them that I was feeling pretty crappy and sickly, they wouldn't care and find a good excuse really fast to get away from you. Don't believe me? Try it sometime! I have put it to the test...someone in a store asks me how I am doing..and i tell them "not so good...." and tell them why and just watch...they can't get rid of you fast enough! I know people have greeting words and all, but still...I hate it when I have to answer a question when I know the asker doesn't give a rats backside as to the answer. Say something intelligent or something...like instead of the clerk asking how I am...say "wow, you chose a really cool purse(or whatever the item)" Or "you have great taste" or something other than that empty stupid "how are you?" OR at least if they are going to ask...don't shy away from the answer! If you dont' want to know the answer...don't ask the question!

I think that it is a bit of both. words are powerful. when I hear my son give a speech or talk I am so caught up in his message to the people. You can see it on their faces and he gives them hope for us to be a better country. For a while they forget the desperate situation that they are in. I spoke to a group of people and told them that if my son wins the road will still be rough. One person answered for them and said that he understood but they feel that my son will give them opportunity and hope. Plus when the focus is not on ourselves we forget our pain. This actually does work as I had my children by natural childbirth - no other option! Horrible deliveries except for the last child where I did the Lamaze method. One f the things that stuck with me is that if we close our eyes when in pain we focus more on ourselves and so we have to keep our eyes open and watch a clock etc. For example - if you had a bad headache and felt awful but then something interesting comes on television that grabs your attention - the headache would still be there but your focus diverted from yourself to watching the good programme and therefore the pain becomes bearable. Wow. What a way I have blathered on I do hope that you get my meaning

Dear Ms. Hatley Personally, I believe these words are good manners to start with. Next, if it is somewone who asks it genuinely, it does remind us that we are fine whichis quite a positive thing for sure... Even if we are not doing well, we still prefer to respond with I am Fine. This starts somewhere the positivity in our brains that yes, it is so easy and we start feeling better. But yes, today, many people use it just to start a conversation but still on many occasions if I can feel the warmth when the question was asked, it definitely helps Regards, Sid

Your reply might have been accompanied with a smile, and most of us feel great when we smile. A smile makes some positive things happen inside us and we actually feel better doing it. So keep on smiling as often as you can

I think you are very powerful and can talk yourself into and out of anything. If you keep saying you are feeling fine, then you will feel fine. If you keep moaning and complaining about something then that thing will just give you more to complain about. I do my very best every day to keep my thoughts uplifting and positive. I try to talk myself into being this upbeat and positive person. It feels so good and makes life so much easier and more enjoyable

I admit I sometimes say these words as well, mostly to people I don't think need to know how I really am feeling, or if I suspect that if I did say something, a critical remark will follow..So in a way,it is good manners or small talk however you want to see it..lol

Good morning Hatley, i think it's just a habit that people always asks u that. They don't really want to hear anything else but i'm fine etc.. I know i do the same thing & sometimes i'm sorry i ask when i hear about all their aches, pains, problems etc. I just always same i'm o.k. when ask.

Well,...for the second time--I think that for some it is hard to get going in the morning. I don't do mornings for just that reasons. You are a positive person and I think you just need a little nudge sometimes to get you on an even keel. Whatever those keels are.I am glad that the day turned around for you!

Hi Hatley, Very good and apt point you have raised here. Everyday we meet people from different walks of life and we exchange words like 'how do you do?" Some we reply without getting ourselves involved and some others with a lot of involvement. Since words have healing power if a known person and specially who you have high regard wishes a good morning it really makes your day. And your mood get brightens when your mind set goes positive.

It is my belief that there is a lot of power in positive thinking. I also think that the reason that we tend to answer with those three simple words is because of the fact that we want to use good manners and we also don't want to bring other people down. With that said, we will reply "I am fine," and after saying it a few times our mind really starts to think that is the case. Therefore, we are able to feel better than we did before because we are thinking in a more positive mindset.

Even if we keep lying like that but we really mean it there is possibility for us to make it real. I would say both; it shows that we don't want them to ask many things to us, it shows a good manner as well as those words have 'power' to ourselves.

I read a book once that talked about being careful what we said as we tend to believe what we say. If you call yourself bad names, you believe you are a bad person. Well there is no reason why saying you are fine should not make you feel fine. It is also probably really good for you to have the little bit of personal attention from the owner that he at least asks how you are.

Dear Hatley, even a small smile can eventually have you giggling when moments before you may have been in tears. I've often played games by smiling at people or catching their eye while I'm smiling and you know, most will automatically smile back and we all know that smiles and laughter genuinely make you feel good. I've been quite ill since Tuesday with a virus and it's amazing how our attitude can bring us down...if I could take my mind off things and focus on things that made me smile...the pains seem to go away. I have found people the same...stick with the ones who make you laugh. Those who constantly whine and complain just bring everyone else down. Even at those times when life is dealing a cruel blow, it's still possible to be grateful and thankful about the good and positive aspects of life rather than gaining attention by being really negative and dwelling on what's most awful. If I was sick, I would rather be with people who make me laugh than with people who will make a sob story or drama about stuff. Sandra needs to learn to laugh at life again. I guess having good manners is part of it too. The human side is that no-one likes to listen to someone who constantly sees themselves as a martyr.

I think it's the power of positive thinking. Saying you are "fine' makes it so in many cases when just before that you were hurting so much you could barely lift your leg....right? I know this has been the case with me many times. I do know there have been case studies that have shown that the power of positive thinking tells our minds to do more or helps us to be able to do more when normally we would not be able to. It's mind over matter...positive thinking is a strong thing. Your mind is a strong thing and a powerful thing. Try it sometime.

I think positive thinking can affect how you feel. If you say something positive, it affects you positively.

I think there is some power in those words. Sometimes people say them without thinking about what they are saying, but subconsciously the words sink in. If you think things are really bad, then they will be. When you say that everything's all right without thinking about it you turned your day around. I hope that you can always be "fine"! Have a great day!!!

Hi, I think it is both, good manners especially if it's said to a casual acquaintance that we do not want to bother with as you said a litany and in a way it also has some magic into it , anything that is positive and assuring will always have a good effect both to the one who said it and the one who heard it. There could also be instances where we say I am fine but....that's where you start telling things bothering us, but I guess the degree of what we open up depends on our closeness to the person we are telling to