He Wants One Thing & You Know What That Is!
By singlemommy
@singlemommy (2955)
United States
May 3, 2011 10:16pm CST
Where do I start? I have known this guy for a couple months now. After finding out that I was newly single, the day after I broke up with my boyfriend, this guy asked me out. So, we went out. He told me that he wanted to take things slow and see where they went. He didn't want to rush into a full blown relationship. Now, with that being said, he has already told his family about me and his mother had been doing some investigating about me. She was asking people she knew who knew me about what kind of person I was, etc. She also had access to background checks, which I know she performed on me and my kids' fathers.
Okay, back to the story. I work with this guy and he is always watching me or trying to find a reason to go talk to me, etc. Everyone I work with keeps saying how they can tell that he has a crush on me. No one knows that we have been seeing each other or that we have been sexually active with each other. But my daughter's father seen a hickey that I had on my neck and when I told him that I was seeing someone but it wasn't serious yet, he said that was all the guy wanted from me.
Now this guy and I were supposed to go out over the weekend but he canceled on me twice. Grant it, his excuses weren't the best, but I figure I could give him a little bit of the benefit of a doubt. He said he was going out of town this weekend and invited me to go with him, but I can't because I have my kids. So, he swears that he is going to make up canceling on me the following weekend. Not sure what we will be doing or if he will cancel again, but since my ex told me that it kinda has me wondering. Would a man tell his family about a girl that he just intended on sleeping with? I mean, I could see telling your guy friends, but your mom and family?
I'm not in love with this guy, but I would like the chance to get to know him and see if something happened between us, but if all I am is just some "you know what", then I don't want that. So, what do you think? Does he want just one thing from me?
5 people like this
10 responses
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
4 May 11
Yeah, that is kinda what I thought, but my ex says that he had a couple "flings" that he took to meet his mom and he never intended on being in a relationship with these women.
3 people like this
@moksha09 (467)
• India
4 May 11
i think you are using him too like you used your previous partners and got used by them in return. Since you are literally holding the baby here take precautions so that you are not left holding another baby.
The thing he is after is the thing you are after as well so no point in doubting. Take precautions and enjoy the company and the action and if both of you get along well take the next step.
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
4 May 11
It seems that no one truly knows this but him and well, you. By the way he has been treating you. Look back on the things he has said to you or done when you were together when around others. Like how did he treat you when they were around. Also, these times when he comes over is it late nights, just he just pop up with no warning or were you expecting him. If he is there for just one things then you most likely don't know when he is coming over or it's a last minute thing.
Your inner feelings should be telling you what he feels about you. You know. Think about it.
3 people like this
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
4 May 11
You have gotten some good advice here from the others. I don't know that I really go with what an ex says because he may be jealous of you and this guy. So just take it easy. Listen to all you have read here and just go with what you feel. But give it a chance and enjoy the relationship while you have it.
3 people like this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
4 May 11
That is weird because as far as i know guys do not tell their family about a girl unless they want to be serious with her. Hmmm confront him? It is pretty confusing but if he is just making excuses, confront him but if he is not, i guess you still have the right to clear things up with him so as to give you peace of mind.
3 people like this
@lsdshrooms (214)
• United States
5 May 11
Give it to him. You see, guys want relationships just like you do, but if you constantly hold out on him, he's gonna get annoyed and irritated. Why? Because you give us all the drama of relationships without the reward of the "good stuff". Even things out and you'll be a happy couple.
3 people like this
@victoracostajr101 (42)
• United States
6 May 11
Naturally, baby daddy gonna say something like that after seeing that hickey on your neck. did you really expect him to say something positive? my guess for why this guy cancelled is that he's nervous and thinking too much into things and felt he needed more time to "plan" he's actually just stalling. you might wanna give him a little extra "push" to let him know you're still wanting to get together.
now, he'd have to be out of his mind to tell his family about you, have momma start "background checks" (wtf!) and asking people about you if all he wanted was "one thing". sure, it's a bonus but im sure its not all he's after.
3 people like this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
7 Jun 11
His family is doing background checks on you? If I found out that a guy I was dating was doing background checks on me, or not objecting to his family doing such checks, I'd be out of there in less than five seconds.
@celticeagle (166939)
• Boise, Idaho
4 May 11
Who knows?! I would set up some very strict boundaries. Make him respect you, accountable to you, etc. If you jump in the sack with him and you haven't gotten to know him, made sure he respects you, and gotten to know the kind of man he really is--then you may find yourself in the family way again and with one more to feed and raise, one more dad that the kids don't get to see in the family marriage type situation. Taking it slow doesn't hurt anyone and makes it all much better when the appropriate time comes. And then his mother will have no reason to shake her head! Good luck!
@savypat (20216)
• United States
4 May 11
New relationship often foster high expectations, maybe he is receiving a lot of pressure from his family and gave your name to escape that pressure. It doesn't sound to me like there is high attraction on either side now that you know each other better. Don't talk yourself into something you will regret later, the fact that you have already been to bed makes me think this is a shallow relationship at this time. Like my old Mom use to say why buy hte cow whwen the milk is free. Sorry.
2 people like this
