Teaching my daughter a lesson today about money..was I too tough?

That's a tough 1, I know what you're trying to do and it's a good lesson but I think maybe you should have loaned her the money and that way she could have gone and had fun, you would get your money back{maybe}and she wouldn't be mad at you. But I know what you were trying to do

No, I don't think so. If she is interest with money try introducing her to the financial business it will be good for her.

She's mad because she screwed up but she'll get over it. You did the right thing. If she's making enough to blow it on McDonalds stuff then she should be saving it. She surely doesn't need to eat that much from McD's. I know you are feeding her at home.

I don't think you were too tough on her at all. Because I have a feeling that asking your Mum if you "borrow" some money kind of means that you won't ever be getting it back from her, which isn't fair on you because she's perfectly capable of having her own job and therefore managing her own money. I had "jobs" from the age of 13, and as a result of that never asked my Mum for money. My younger brother, on the other hand, never had that life lesson and he's 15 now and asks for money literally all the time. And, they give it to him, which I find a little bit annoying particularly when I know that I had to work for the money when I was his age.

Hi JenInTN, you mean she spend all her monies on McDonalds...? she likes burger a lot, isn't she? I don't know whether or not you were wrong but I think if she really hungry then she have to spend on food. Otherwise she wouldn't have the energy to work...though. Does she get any free meal from the pizza?

I would have done the same. Showing someone how much they spend is a good idea. I wasn't too harsh, its not like you got out the whip. Don't know what to do about helping people not buy junk though.

In addition to teaching her about money, you are teaching her to plan ahead. It is never too young to learn. I think it is great that she learns to pay for her own car insurance, and it is not like the summer is over or the theme park is closing down. She needs to have a "contingency fund" stashed so that when these spontaneous little activities come up she is able to go. I am sure McDonald's is fun, and it probably has been something she has done with her friends, but in addition to eating up her paycheck, it is not the healthiest lifestyle choice she can make. My son does not manage as well as he could, but better than I expected (35) and my daughter manages pretty well and is having a good influence on her husband (32). Son pays his bills on time and if he really wants something he does save for it, but he and his soon to be ex lost a house. I am sure it took both of them to do it. Daughter gets to stay home with the grandkids and they bought a house and are remodeling it. She sometimes has to put her foot down for certain issues, though.

You were not wrong. Be strong. May I say that I learned a valuable lesson many years ago? I worked all summer in the woods peeling pulp for my cousin. None of us that worked got paid until the pulp was sold, so we were earning money without having it every week. We got it all at once in September. I averaged about $3.00 a day for the whole summer. My Dad suggested that I write out a list of what I wanted to buy with that money. I wrote down that list with what I kind of thought each item would cost. I wrote out that list in August. Dad took that list and put it in his wallet that day. When I got paid, he suggested that we open up a savings account at the bank in town. We went to the bank with that check, opened a savings account and left to go home. Friday evening Dad asked Mom if she had seen my list? She hadn't seen it in quite a while she said. She reminded Dad that it was in his wallet, she thought. He went looking through his wallet and couldn't find it. He suggested that I rewrite that list that I had written back in August. I did. Like a miracle Mom "found it." Dad and I compared the two lists, and discovered that a few of the things were on both lists. His comment was that "I guess these are the things that you really want and need because they both match." He said "Let's go to town and get them, now." This was a very valuable lesson that I learned that day because I learned that, just because you want something now doesn't mean that you really need it, now. Patience is a virtue. Practice it.

Of course u weren't wrong. I'm proud of u for doing that. They have to learn & u are the teacher. U are a good mom, Jen.

I think you have taught her a valuable lesson and you absolutely did the right thing.She won't always be able to rely on you and when she is in the real world she wont be able to have everything she wants and if she wants to treat herself she will have to budget for it.People who don't learn this lesson could end up in serious financial trouble.

Hi JenInTN Reading this reminds me of my teen days when I would not tolerate anyone interfering in what I do - I did not start earning till I was 21(quite late). And yes, I will also add - I am still a food relisher (this is a wrong word I know, but it kind of conveys what I want to, pls excuse the wrong word). Even when I am ill and not allowed much of the foods that I love, I still opt for them at least once a fortnight. These taste buds... For your daughter, I feel she is reacting the way it should be and is quite natural. And the same holds for your reaction. You both are right in your own perspectives and in the longer run, your being right will definitely become more visible to your daughter. Money Management is one of the most essential requirements (as I have learned this - the hard way) and you are doing right. Maybe, to pacify her, you can allow her a weekly lunch or anything at the McDonalds but a word of caution - when you are restricted to eat, the people who love food, eat beyond capacities when allowed So be careful in case you allow this.

Hi Jen Oh no you were not tough at all, see not showing her the way means she will be careless in the future. She is learning what it is like to earn, therefore, she has to learn how to separate the saving/paying/spending. I am sure it was painful to make the decision, but in the long run she will understand. Perhaps she will never say it was you who taught me to be responsible, but she will know and so will you by her actions.

No, you're not wrong. I think it would be better if she saw it as a choice between going to McDonald's a bunch or going to the amusement park once, in which case you can praise her for making the right choice. Hey, when she's old enough to get married, why don't you send her my way?

I think you did the right thing. Hopefully, your daughter would learn to be more self conscious. You are a great parent. I think that when teaching kids how to manage money. It has to start young, only then, will it become a habit. It is important that you check her account on a regular basis to make sure she does not starts the habit of spending. Actually, teens going to Mcdonalds is normal, and you should not stop them from going out with their friends, provided they are good. What you can advise your daughter is that when buying meals, you can choose not to upsize, or only to buy the burger. Money is a form of security, without it, you would feel insecure, by teaching your daughter this tips, im sure she will lead a good life.

I know its hard to turn them down but her working she should have planned for this too if she really wanted to go. My son was about 10 I think and he wanted one of those stech armstong action figures ya know the one with the goop in it? any way I told him if he wanted it he would have to make money for it So he hunted up cans to seel I took him and helped him till he had enough then he found a way to go to town which he had to go to Laramie Wy from where we lived. with friend and his faily got the action figure came home had a ball with it till it sprung a leak red goop came out of it what a mess. but I think he appreciated it more since he had to work to pay for it.

Wish I had been as tough with my kids, but they didn't have car insurance to pay for and I didn't care that they didn't have jobs while they were still in school. BUT they are all grown now and STILL ask for loans. At one point last month all four of them owed me. I CAN say no, but it depends on what they are borrowing for. I think you are doing the right thing since that is why she is working!!

hi JenInTn I do not think so as this is a lesson one should learn when young not flounder around as an adult like I did and wake up to th fact a credit card does not mean uou never have to pay the due amount. I had started out really well. I had a Meryns card, a J.C penny card and a Sears card. for the first year or so I was prompt in paying the fu ll amountof charges rather than the minimum but my part time job at the library depended on our country coffers ,. okay our Orange County went bankrupt thus causing the library branches to cut down hours. My wages took a nose dive and suddenly I was still buying stuff but was steadily not paying those 3 cards all up. I was paying the minimum 40 dollars on Sears, the other two I was still almost caught up then one fine day I realized to my horror I was in debt to Seard for 1200 dollars, how did I do that well five dollars here charges, ten dollars there etc. like your daughgter with her McDonals mine was Sears in small amounts. I did go to a company that helps you get out of debt with credit cards. amd they got JC Pennys and Mervyns to cut their Charges way down so I soon got those cleared up but after two years of forty dollars a mo nth and the principal not going down I gave up on Sears and it over ten years was outlawed., but had I given myself the lesson y ou gave your daughter I wou ld not have gotten into Credit problems. I think you were just right,not too strict at all.As this will prevent her when she is an adult from getting into credit card debt like I did. after that mess I tore up all my credit cards. I have a debit card and that keeps me honest, I do not b uy if my account if low. and with debit you are always paid up. no charges looming. good discussion.,

I definitely believe this is a lesson she should learn early. My question is how was discussed with her about money management before the issue of the theme park came up? I ask this because I use that as a gauge to determine what type of consequences I give my daughter in learning situations. If I have went over it with her a lot and she just doesn't want to respond or doesn't get it, I then let the school of hard knocks teach her the lesson. In that case I would have done the same thing as you. If however, I had not emphasized the importance of money management along the way as she was spending the money on McDonald's, then I would have given her a bit more learning curve by going ahead and helping her out this time but showing her (as you did) where she could have had the money and warning her that next time I will not be so helpful.

No. I think you were more than fair. The whole point of being a parent, is to teach your children how life works. If you were a magic fairy woman, who could give her money whenever she needed for the rest of her life, then there would be no need for this lesson. But you are not, are you? And nor is anyone. At some point you want your child to be able to live without you. We've seen what happens when that doesn't happen. You have 3rd and 4th generation welfare recipients who can't pay for their own bread. You have dependent people in their 40s, unable to survive on their own. Sometimes the lesson hurts. And it hurts the parent to give that lesson. But she will not learn unless she is forced to. I personally can't think of one time in my working life, in which I didn't pay my own way to a theme park. It was always expected that I'd save my own money, and buy my own ticket. It was up to me if I wanted to go. When I was 10 years old? Yeah that's different. But at 16, I was paying for everything I wanted. I would urge you to not give in on this. This is a life lesson she really needs. Especially if she's angry about it. If she thinks it's your job, as if you are obligated, to pay for her fun times... yeah, that needs changed. Your future son-in-law, and extended family you don't even know yet, will thank you for raising a wise daughter. :)

i think you are right.we become tough to the people only whom we love we never care for the people whom we do not love.if your daughter is spending money unnecessarily then it is your right and duty to teach her a lesson.if it requires to become tough at some extent then i think its okay.but the more effective way is that you try to teach her some tactics and tips to save the money for the future.i found this site on money management hope this will help. http://howtomanagemoneytips.com please share your views after visiting this site.